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The Rose to my Vase

You are the Rose to my Vase,
The substance in my life.
I would look at you,
Dispel all my trouble and strife.

You are the Rose to my Vase,
So beautiful and pure.
I want you so bad,
I need you I'm sure.

You are the Rose to my Vase,
But you were taken from me.
My glass once filled with life,
Now void and lacking.

You are the Rose out of your Vase.
You Wilt and I stay Empty.

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 9 of 9
  • fallen-leaf
    February 9, 2007

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    Amazing.

    Amazing. I truly just loved this poem. Wow, its so deep, and full of emotion and meaning. Thank you so much for entering my contest and good luck!!


  • February 7, 2007
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    amazing

    Jesse your amazing. I love you so much, im crying. this is kelsey, btw.


  • Abscessed
    January 29, 2007

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    A warm welcome to All Poetry!

    Interesting metaphors, I thought you handled the subject and the emotions rather well Thank you for entering the contest
    I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!

    abscessed


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    January 28, 2007
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    Thanks for entering

    Now this is a truly sad poem. The loss of a loved one is never easy and sometimes we carry that pain forever, even if it is no longer so blinding or consuming.

    A beautiful write that is strong in imagery and a good fluid flow.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    January 22, 2007
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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    Thanks for enterring the new members contest. I think you have done a great job of expressing the feelings of losing a first love. The first heartbreak always makes a vivid impression on us and is very hard to overcome.

    Thanks for sharing and best of luck in the contest.


  • greyhaime
    January 15, 2007

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    thanks foe entering

    thank you for entering this in the contest. I really liked the flow and the story in it was good. thanks again and good luck to you..
    Krystal


  • FifthDove
    January 14, 2007

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    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    Ohhhh, the ending of this poem is terribly sad yet the entire piece is so tender and sincere and beautiful. I do like the repetition of the “You are the Rose to my Vase” fraise; it works well in this poem. Nice work Thank you very much for taking the time to write for` and enter our contest. Best wishes in all you do and welcome to AllpoetryDove
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  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    January 12, 2007

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    Thanks for entering

    I don't see what this has to do with firsts. Though it has some good things in it.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry.

    God Bless
    Tammy

    • Broken Gabriel
      January 14, 2007
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      Ummmm

      Though it doesn't actually say the word "first", it talks about my first love, the first great pain I feel, and the way thats firsts create lasts.... All of my friends got it... About how the first time a loved one was taken from me, was the last time I saw her.... it makes sense in my head...

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