Find me
Under the branches of trees,
Where life appears so serene
And I can feel free.
In this Utopia,
I feel a constant strain of euphoria
And can withstand life's deliria;
Although, you may just call this hysteria.
If you accuse me, saying I am insane,
Then you must live in ignorance of all this pain.
For I know that I am sane,
In spite of your insidious claim.
I must say, though, I pity you
Living your life arrogantly, without a clue.
Until one day you wake up to a world very new,
And live the remainder of your days feeling blue.
Meanwhile, I'll still be able to carry
The weight of my world without being so wary,
Like some mythical fairy,
All thanks to my sanctuary.
Author notes
For banana: I chose option 3.
For Confused: I chose option 4.
A contest entry
- 5 options for the creative poet (12) by bananasfoster42.
525 points, ended April 19, 2007, 11 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The BEST and origanal option contest that could ever be out there so please enter now cuz my hand is about to fall off from typing ALL this...THANK YOU!!!~ by SmartBrick.
300 points, ended June 7, 2008, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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I liked the rhymes!And I really liked how you put the option in your AN!Somebody read the rules!That's brownie points for you!Anyway I really liked it!~
signed confused -
i really like the way you rhymed the ending words of each sentence. some of them are hard to rhyme too. thanks for this talented write
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i like this. it's true that often the people who think so much of themselves have never faced pain, and when they finally do encounter it, they have no resistance and cannot handle it. however, others know how to cope and are therefore the more well-adjusted, no matter what most of society thinks.
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I kind of like this. Parts of it don't appeal to me; rhyme can only go so far in making a point. I would suggest every other line instead of all four. But anyhhow, nice one!
-Sonja -
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Yeah, I know. But most of it just came out that way, and I didn't want to break it(i.e.-the parts that are forced). Well, as always, thanks for the advise/comment/whatever you want to call it.
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I like this poem, the way you had the last word of every stanza rhymning with each other, I do that all the time so I know how hard it can be to find four words that rhymn and still make since. Kudos to you. This poem has a very dreamy, lazy quality to it, like the fact that you find sanctuary beneath the branches of trees, I love that. Any way, great write and keep up the work.
Tiphanie
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