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First Kiss?

First kiss was a blurr
As he knocked me down with force
Burning into my heart
Changing life's own course
A kiss I don't want to remember
Yet, a first kiss that I'll never forget
Something that will always stay with me
A kiss I'll always regret
Even though I was powerless
And weak and very cold
The man still comes to mind
Strong, mean and bold
But now all that is over
So for me what does it mean?
My pain
Whisper to a scream
There's nothing more to gain

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6

  • Abscessed
    January 29, 2007
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    A warm welcome to All Poetry!

    Not the best first, but your pain and abuse comes across real and raw Im sorry if you experienced this!
    Thank you for entering the contest
    I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!

    abscessed


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    January 28, 2007

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    Thanks for entering

    This is a chilling scene you have sculpted here with your poem. Life is truly not fair and often there are those who will never have that first beautiful memory to fall back on.

    My heart wants to break when I read this for I know with that first kiss you also lost your innocence and thus life can never be the same. Just memories of pain that will haunt you for a long time.

    Take strength in your writing for you do it well.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    January 22, 2007
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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    And thanks for enterring. You took a very different approach to the contest topic and did a great job expressing a not so fond memory of a first. Some things are hard to remember and hard to share. Your piece makes that point very clearly.

    Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.


  • FifthDove
    January 14, 2007
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    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    I am so very sorry that this has happened to you. The poem itself is very good in conveying your thoughts and feelings. Nice work on this piece. Thank you very much for taking the time to write for` and enter our contest. Best wishes in all you do and welcome to AllpoetryDove
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  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    January 12, 2007
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    Thanks for entering

    This is a different approach to the first kiss scenario. Very different emotions are in play here. Is this the scene of a rape? That is what I get from it.

    One little typo couse should be course.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry.

    God Bless
    Tammy

1 - 6 of 6