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A prisoner of another age
locked in memories of the past
Where once I danced upon life’s stage
now, I’m just a shadow cast
Look at a child of the time
one of narcotics sad recruits
Who never saw it as a crime
just a tool in funs pursuits
What times I had those early days
devoid of rationality
I lived a life wrapped in a haze
convinced of immortality
But happiness came at a cost
the piper he demands his pay
Many were the friends I’ve lost
I walk a lonely trail today
I’ve sold my body and my soul
finding there was scant return
Trying hard to fill the hole
left by the past for which I yearn
And now I watch the shadows cast
knowing that each one depicts
The counting down of hours passed
to what may be my final fix
I wait within a barless cell
constructed by stupidity
For death to free me from this hell
Why does it take eternity?
..
A contest entry
- ~Picture Inspired Reflections~ by Frozentearz.
525 points, ended January 20, 2007, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TEN THOUSAND POINTS OF RHYME (Now 20,000+) Part 9a Feelings by cricketjeff.
1500 points, ended January 29, 2008, 40 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 63 of 63
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This is the real deal!
I'd love to see you have a go at something a touch more formal, your meter and flow here say you could do a great job, I used to regard it as the dark side myself but am being slowly won over. I still think content is king, and your content is always .
Now to go from I to we and say Sue and I are delighted that you have entered again and done so well again I shall of course be sending you the spare points for an HM+ but for your silver in the other side you would have been in the major prizes again. I think just saw a poem from you going into round 10 so we look forward to reading that!Thanks a lot
Jeff and Sue
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This is a beautifully penned quatrain. The rhyme and meter is on target and that is what most likely drew the judges attention. I think the image and emotion is top rate. Well done!
Love,
Amera♥
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Congratulations!
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Eternity?
Let's hope not.
Interesting write. Am I to understand that you wrote this based on a photograph? If so, that's quite a trick.
Interesting idea, and one I've had myself. When we lose someone or something, it leaves a hole in our psyches that no one or nothing else can ever fill.
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Thank you ecrivain for your comments Yep it was image inspired I love those type of contests. It gives me a chance to think outside of the box.
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well done
Good rhyme. Good flow. Each line stands well on its own and the whole piece has a consistent mood. I could feel the remorse and experience the prison. Well done. -
Thank you so much Vici for your comments, I am most fortunate in that I tend to look at pictures usually different to most people This one strange enough just about wrote itself. That happens sometimes When it does the joy one gets from it is wonderful, You never know where they come from You are just grateful to see them on paper
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wow
my first impression is wow.. your skill in rhyming..is phenomenal.. and to put together this thought to describe your take on that pic... to show how the bottom of someones life looks and the desperate struggle to escape..it all works so well together.. ending was superb also -
Superb.
Another wonderful poem to add to your greats. Oh If only I could only write like this ... Oh well it doesn't hurt to be inspired though, but such wonderfully penned. So glad that WelshDragon pointed me in your direction some time ago as one of the best on this site. Absolutely loved this poem and it is enough to make me go and make that model steam engine I have, instead of being here.
Barry -
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My dear friend never believe that your work does not have the same effect on the readers This one especially. It must be a thing with us poets that everyones work always seems better I know i have that feeling each time I read some poets work. As you say it inspires one to push themselves If for one moment I thought i was good then I would have nothing to strive for.I do know that when one get wonderful comments It heaps the pressure on to produce better next time A bit like having a number one record where do you go from there
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Great poem
What a sad story, but so alive with feeling, but
the message is clear of regret and sadness. Although
we are here to learn some lesson or other, maybe
you are storing up great treasures in the next life.
Or the subject of the poem is..
Good luck in the contest.
Dixie
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pretty awesome
Great flow. Strong words. I feel like the use of the default colors on this page should mean something a little important, though I think I'm wrong. Great write.
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Thank you sobedragon for taking time to read and comment So pleased that you found it an entertaining read Thank you once again
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wow, another amazing write from you...not that I expected any less! Your ability to maintain such smooth rhythm throughout the piece is extraordinary. The story you tell is heart wrenching but all too often true. A very enjoyable read.
Rory
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Thank you Rory for such a wonderful comment It is such words as yours that make writing a pleasure Thank you so much
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i just love this... the story it tells... the words... great job... i love it
-tk
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Thank you tabbykat for your comments and for taking time to read and do so It really is appreciated Thank you
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Amazing as usual! You have penned a great take on the pic and I like what you have shown me through your words. Thanks for entering and best wishes in the contest. Frogz~
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Thank you Frogs you know your comments are always appreciated by this poet.As i have said in a previous reply to others Sometimes the image posted needs to take much of the credit for what is produced .This was an image that begged to have words added to it Thank you for your time
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It's outstanding! My sister had been having trouble with the law and this poem really expresses to me how she must feel going through it.
This was a great piece of work!!!! And may i ask if i could print it out and gice to my sister as an insperation? -
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Thank you dreamofhearts For taking time to read and comment Please feel free to print this off if you so wish I hope your sister get all the love and help required By the way welcome to AP I look forward to reading some of your work once you begin posting
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A beautiful emotional write. Very well written. Keep them coming and blessed be.
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as usual GREAT!!!!!
You speak of the charm of time,
Glimpses of an adolescent age to depict,
And of the pursuits in search of inevitable crime.
I'm nobody to judge your poems that the verdict!
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Thank you Darklilly I am so pleased that you found it an enjoyable read
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Thank you so much emperork for taking time to read and comment It is always appreciated Thank you
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I have read a couple of your poems which are so well done on this sad aspect of life. I asked once before and do so again. May I post frame these and post them in my clinics for my patients to read? They really are inspired by writings like these.
Your friend,
Jim
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Thank you Jim for your comments As with all my work if you ever feel the need to use it in this way then please do so I am more than happy to be of some sort of service
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Such a brilliant poem you have penned here. Flows so well and is so thought provoking and poignant. You interpreted the picture very well. All the best to you in this contest!
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Thank you so much Kiran for your comments Some of the credit for this one has to go to the image posted For providing the inspiration Thank you once again for taking time to read and comment
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Excellent
You read this picture so well and paint it with your poem.a strong delivery with a message for all to heed, Ros
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Thank you Guenevere Who could not look at the image posted and find something to write about it. I cried out to be penned about That I managed to come up with something that you see as worthy of it is really pleasing Thank you
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Brilliant.
Brilliantly perceptive and presented. Great work all through in every aspect, byt then that's what we've come to expect mate.
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Thank you Bazza I do believe we have a mutual respect for each others work It is always with the greatest pleasure that I receive yours Thank you
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Goodness! I am in absolute awe of your rhyming ability! This piece is marvelous. The flow, rhyme - everything just fit together perfectly. As always, a pleasure and an inspiration.
~Elora~
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Thank you Elora As a poet we always look to find out what other poets think of our work It is only through comments like your that we know we are on the right track Thank you
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Very well done. I love the line 'Narcotics sad recruits'
Absolutely brilliant! One suggestion: may be my final fix. Lol, trivial, I know!
Not sure on how you intended it though, but I think you need the space there.
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Amazing dad this was a fantastic poem from start to finsh with a great story attached
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Thank you March for your comments and for pointing out my error I really do appreciate it You were right That was the way it was intended My deepest thanks to you
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Thank you James my son Your comments mean a lot to me Thank you for taking time to read and do so
Dad
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Excellent
This is superb in rhyme, rhythm, flow and graphic interpretation. An excellent entry for this contest. My friend, I see a winner here. ~Pam
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Thank you Pam as you well know winning is not that important to me The fact that I can get inspiration to write , and the forth coming comments are more than enough I thank you for adding to them
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Another work of art taking the reader deep within the picture. I've decided to have a set comment already printed out, like a set meal at the Chinese lol---I can just click on it and send to you---because there is never anything bad to say about your work, and each one is better than the last one. I feel you have produced yet another winner!. Well done Legend.
Shaz xx
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Thank you Shaz if you just wish to say read it in your comments that would be more thanks enough for me. As you always make such wonderful comments Thank you so much my dear friend
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With this write you have left me wowed! This one is
really touching and at the same time I feel the deepeness
of every emotion running...excellent write!! Good luck in
the contest..take care.
Thank you also for the comment...
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Thank you Meena Krish I am so pleased that you found the read worth while.As i have said before it is comments like yours that every poet looks for Thank you
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this is so true Legend, I often see the results of such a life and know that what at first is filled with bright lights and gaiety soon turns to drudgery and dispair, a wonderfully worded and crafted offering for this picture inspired contest, brilliant, Broad
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This was written wonderfully and beautifully. I really liked it a lot. Wonderful job with it. Good luck in this contest. God Bless!
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Thank you Broad all to sadly this is a normal sort of life to many of our youth now days That they have to blank out reality really is a sad state for the world to be in.That they feel the need to step outside of it Thank you for your comments
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Thank you American Girl for taking time to read and comment It is always appreciated Thank you
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Fantastic!!!
As always you are a tremendous inspiration and your words are always a constant pleasure to read.
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Thank you so much Athena That this one gave you a pleasant read is more that reward for me Thank you for taking time to do so
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reflection
We all think we're immortal in our youth, leastwise when i look back i wonder did i savour or appreciate it all enough..to the fullest.
It makes me a bit nervous when things are going too smoothly or i'm too happy for i know, like you say, all of us sooner or later have to pay the piper for there is a balance in this universe of ours.
All we can really do is enjoy each day and live for the moment that we are in...
You are still making a difference - we must live and experience for those who can't..
I felt this - superbly penned
galfalfa
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Thank you Galfalfa oh but who would change those wonderful days when we WERE immortal? No regrets thats my motto,each days living made me what I am today Change one and I am not me And I like me Thank you so much for your most welcome comments
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Well this contest is most certinly bringing forth some great writes, these lines "I wait within a barless cell
constructed by stupidity" How at times we self inflict our bars don't we,
A deep look into the lives of many.
Thanks for sharing warm thoughts
Frozentearz -
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Thank you Tearz for providing the image and the inspiration. Such a picture demands to be written about
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I loved this. The rhyming flows nicely.
I really liked:
"I lived a life wrapped in a haze
convinced of immortality,"
And:
"For death to free me from this hell
Why does it take eternity?"
Good Luck!
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Thank you Deviless for taking time to read and comment it really is appreciated
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Stunning!!
WOW! Legend, your talent never ceases to amaze me! This is incredibly poignant and easy for many to relate to. As always, your rhythm and rhyme were impeccable. A most excellent read, my friend. Another of many!
~Lori
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Thank you so much Lori you do me a great service with such comments Thank you I am pleased that you enjoyed it
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Immense
Immense piece ! Another outstanding work. Amazing phraseology, which still fits perfectly into a flawless rhythm. Heart rending story line. Should be read by many. Great great write. Bravo
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WD Hi my friend the pleasure I get from your comments can not be measured This is what I write for.To try and reach the reader with something that they can enjoy.Look at the image provided how could anyone not find something in there to pen a piece Thank you so much for your comments
Take care
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Brilliant
Legend, once again you are able to take us on a journey into someone's life, someone's feelings....someone's heart....
I can't tell you how much your poems touch us...There is always heart in every line not to mention the flawless rhyme and flow which is always present....Yes, I said it before and say it again,,,
You are brilliant.,....
Lynda
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Thank you Lynda you are always more than generous with your remarks when you comment on my work For that I truly thank you.I often say much of the credit for my work goes to those who provide such inspiration.This was one of those images that cried out to be written about. That you feel i have done a reasonable job with it is more than enough reward for this poet Thank you
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