I have finally designed
The justice of my desire.
For every man
Who has taken inconsideration upon
My feelings,
My body, or
My intellect...
I will take a finger.
Across the world, each creature reviled
Every handshake, a lost deal
Every child's glance, a snicker
Every wall remnisicent of a jail cell!
The media would alert of 9-fingered frauds
Keep your women inside, spare them
An ignoble exchange with these heathens -
Do not trust a single one!
Then, whether or not any of you
Feign great happiness, amass
Lover upon lover, to cover
The failure that is your person...
You have no choice
As I have no forgiveness:
Your hands would make undressing
Futile.
Author notes
Originally released on DeviantArt on January 12th, 2007.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/46499246/
Ugh, I just want to be done with being angry, but I just don't feel justified yet. How can you watch someone who's hurt you fool themselves out of the misery they deserve?
Option 12 for Empathic.
A contest entry
- Dark, Morbid, Insane, Disturbing Options and Nothing But by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 16, 2007, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Epitomize Your Enemies by xNeonVertigoLipsx.
510 points, ended April 1, 2007, 4 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
This is more relief than professional work. Critique if you like.
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Your poem was great but, you didn't really "epitomize" your enemy..-meaning: dressing them up it a lovely manner....or making them sound the best damn thing in this universe.....You can always try again if you want.....
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username please....
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Sorry 'bout that: In Liquid Wonder.
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I'm fed up with being angry too, but I can't seem to shift it onto any other extreme emotion, nor any other minor emotion at all, and it sucks majorly... It drains me of energy too. I like the taking fingers, I would love to do that to every guy that has done me wrong sometime in my life, I'd have a whole finger collection.
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If all women were to do this...I can see the world having nothing BUT 9-fingered men. Granted, some are a lot worse than others, but I don't believe any of us pass through life having never hurt someone badly and also getting hurt. You've written a very power-filled piece of poetry here, full of emotion and yet well written. So often the emotion drives the poem, but I do not feel that is the case here. Wonderful work, giving all readers much to think about.
Best wishes,
~J.
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This poem even has a sweet mystic sense to it. Well thought out..nicely done. A great expression of a deep image of natural truth. And the last few lines gave me a sonnet kinda vibe. All in all, very enjoyable. Well done and thank you for sharing. This is a great poem. I love it all... the poem, the background, the topic....it's all great.
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Ouch, viciously painful justice. If you're poem were reality i picture our world being riddled with Yakuza wrought 9 fingered individuals. Why does it seem its human nature to hurt one another? Really your poem's raised some questions. Good luck with the matters of your heart.
-Mal
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actually it is both why cant your relief be used in your proffesional work as the feelings come from the heart so it makes it a more powerful write
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I can relate with wanting to be done being angry but sometimes you just have to let it flow as long as it must and do what you can to get relief, like write. And sometimes, I've found, there is no justification - you just have to move on.
This write is very emotional and raw, I can feel the anger and pain, and I think many will relate to it, as I do. -
I know exactly what you mean. It is like the ones who do all the hurting never feel. It was a good poem. Keep it up
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