I hear you crying softly
behind a locked door
leading to your dark room
where you sit
alone.
...why are you hiding from me?
You cry for
stronger shoulders
so that maybe
you could rise
and walk again.
...we could carry this together.
You whisper prayers
for arms to hold you
ears to hear you
a heart to love you
and a shoulder
to catch your tears.
...why won't you let me in?
You count your tears
and sob as you dry them
wishing you had someone
to dry them for you.
...I'm right here.
Let me hold you till your long night ends.
Let me listen to your heart crying.
Let me offer you my shoulder.
Let me wipe your stinging cheeks.
Let me whisper assurance
And turn on the light.
I promised I would be your friend.
Why are you hiding from me?
Author notes
Um, this is kind of option number one.
...hold on. it'll be over soon.
A contest entry
- Take My Hand by x Gemini x.
600 points, ended January 26, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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...I think this is kind of where I am right now. I keep asking God for a friend like this... a friend I can turn to when Im at my darkest. But He's standing right there trying to tell me that He IS there and I can turn to Him. ...I forget a lot of times that He is my friend. And one of the greatest at that. This was awesome. Greatly written and felt... thank you. <3
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hm. sadly, that is pretty forgettable. maybe subconciously we feel like it's too corny or something. a lot of people get weirded out when they hear others talk about how God is their best friend.
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First, let me thank you for entering my contest.
Second:
This poem was very touching. Creative perspective. The flow and imagery was very well done. I suggest the use of puncuation for professional look and easier reading.
Otherwise, this was good. -
Thanks to both of you
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^_^
Wonderful. Exquisite.
This poem is so...i can't even describe it. The two voices echoing each other...so life like, yet so unreal. The contradictory tone gives me the feeling that I am watching the scene you describe right before my own eyes. I love it.
hugs,
Steph -
This is different from your "normal" poems. It'
s quite good. I don't know what to say to this..really, mostly because I'm sitting here and talking on the phone a thtis precise moment.
This is very good though..you should talk to people more in your poems. You do a great job at it.
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You know it's actually kind of strange... I have a friend on here who's having issues with her sister and for a while I've wanted to write something sort of about that (even though she does all the time) and then i found this contest... inspiration has been happening in strange ways lately...
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Don't try to force inspiration. Most recently...the inspiration I've been having is due to sadness..you know a feeling inside of me. It's not as random...excluding the friendship poem I wrote. I actually tried to force myself to write about friendship, which I thought it would sound awfully because I did it..but apparently it was quite good.
As I said..you are great at talking to people through poetry. This is quite good..keep it up. The stranger the inspiration, more than likely the more you are taught after you finish the reaction of it.
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