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First "I Love You"

One little girl,
Only 14,
Laid her head on his cheast,
Everything so perfect and serene.

One older boy,
Already 16,
Kisses the top of her head,
As they both fell into the dream.

One highschool romance,
Young and in love,
It all seemed so perfect,
Like it was sent from above.

They curl up together,
His arms around her,
Holding her sweetly,
Knowing exact what his next 3 words would be for.

He kisses her ear softly,
Everything so new,
In her ear he wispers those words,
I love you.


A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • allfayth
    April 4, 2007
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    Theres no sweeter thing than puppy love. Then you get old and get to remember those good times.


  • Abscessed
    January 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    A warm welcome to All Poetry!

    Awww I remember being that age and feeling what you've described here Thanks for refreshing those beautiful images and for entering the contest
    I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!

    abscessed


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    January 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering

    I like the scene you have painted here with this poem. That first love is truly something special and you have captured the innocence of this well.

    The poem has a fluid flow and was a true joy to read.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    January 22, 2007

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    Welcome to AllPoetry

    And thanks for enterring. Your poem brings back wonderful warm memories of being young and in love for the first time. Nicely done

    Best of luck in the contest and keep writing .


  • greyhaime
    January 14, 2007

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    thanks for entering

    thanks for entering the contest and welcome to the site!
    I liked the read of htis, it flowed well and had good ryhme. well done and good luck to you in the contest...
    Krystal


  • FifthDove
    January 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    This is precious to say the least, the poem has given me a warm fuzzy feeling. Very nice penning here. Thank you very much for taking the time to write for` and enter our contest. Best wishes in all you do and welcome to AllpoetryDove
    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


  • Cannonsfire
    January 12, 2007

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    To be young and in love, its just the nicest feeling in the world and sounds like you are head over heels. Just a little spell error cheast- chest , lovely words with a good flow to the poem. As you read in here there are simple poems with easy to understand words but there are those that you will get to know that show emotions through metaphors and they can be delightful as they make the reader ponder what it is you are really getting at. Good luck in your first contest. You have a great start here.


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    January 12, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering

    Oh this is so precious. The first time someone says I love you and at such sweet ages. I hope you never learn the sting of love gone wrong. That if you two fall out of love it is gentle and not such a bad experience.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry.

    God Bless
    Tammy

1 - 8 of 8