Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

By the way, I love you

By the way, I saw you today,
My self control hits mayday,
My hearts hits payday,
As love surges through my veins.
I live for you every minute,
Everyday.
By the way did I ever say,
I love you.

Author notes

A poem about the first person I think I ever loved.

In a list

A contest entry

Please tell me what you think

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 8 of 8

  • Abscessed
    January 29, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    A warm welcome to All Poetry!

    The topic is appealing to me, but if I had to be honest - in bits the ryming seemed a bit forced to me (especially considering the length of the poem)
    Anyway we appreciate your entry Thank you for entering the contest
    I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!

    abscessed


  • Rosemary Stroebel silver member
    January 28, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering

    Nice short and powerful. Only one comment and that is the repetition of the words "by the way". This does not do anything to enhance the read and I would suggest you remove it from the last line as I feel it does not truly fit there.

    Let the ink flow and your fingers dance

    Rosemary


    • thorlorn thanatos
      January 29, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      thankyou for the comment.
      The last line has been altered.
      it does get repetative.


  • Violet Moodswing Greeters member
    January 22, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Welcome to AllPoetry

    And thanks for enterring the new members contest.

    Ah, first love. I like the simplicity of the write, much like first love before we learn to complicate the heck out of things.

    Best of luck in the contest and again, welcome to the site.


  • greyhaime
    January 14, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    thanks

    thanks so much for entering this in the contest, I enjoyed the short read, and the flow was good. good luck to you in the contest.
    Krystal


  • FifthDove
    January 14, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!

    It sounds as though you love this person very much. What a delightful read this was. Love sure is good when it is right. Thank you very much for taking the time to write for` and enter our contest. Best wishes in all you do and welcome to AllpoetryDove
    Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


  • Solar
    January 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    A very beautiful write and you show clearly your love and compassion for that special someone within your words, thankyou for sharing and goodluck in the contest,... solar


  • Little Eagle Greeters member
    January 12, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    Thanks for entering

    This was such a cute little poem that says eveything in so few words.

    Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry.

    God Bless
    Tammy

1 - 8 of 8