Black fire, electrical wire
Wrap the chain around the tire
Orange ice, screaming mice
Cut your finger (roll the dice)
Purple grass, midnight mass
Rub your stomach on the glass
Brown elastic, burning plastic
Watch TV (do something drastic) . . .
A contest entry
- For the love of god CONFUSE ME by h202.
450 points, ended February 10, 2008, 64 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i hate to say this for fear of sounding arrogant in the end, but this really reminds me of something i would write. the short lines, the mix of end rhyme and internal throughout the piece, the concise imagery, all things i try to do in some of my work. alright about this. this is certainly open to different interpretations, and since i'm not yet totally sure i can clearly articulate mine, i won't go into it. but it is accessible enough to discern a certain tone and i can get a working theme out of it. i like the rhyme, but i think that even though it's a short piece the set pattern of rhyme turned just a little old by the end. just anticipated a little change of pace at the end, but it's good anyway. thanks for entering. finalist
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wow this is really really good
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