I grew in shame’s garden
of dandelion dreams;
considered just a weed,
by everyone it seems.
I had such hearty roots,
my stem, it didn’t bend,
until they poisoned me
and brought upon my end.
Killed me ever slowly,
I died before their eyes.
They watched me as I wilted,
my withering demise.
Weakened beauty gone now,
fallen to the ground.
Silently I lay there,
I died without a sound.
Someone touched me gently,
I felt a rush of power.
Blew dead petals to the wind,
I was just a simple flower
Author notes
Another self-reflective write. A metaphor for my past. I am the flower that was considered a weed, stomped upon and poisoned ever-so slowly.
"The heart dies a slow death. Shedding each
hope like leaves. Until one day there are none."
In a list
A contest entry
- For the group; Relatives of suicide victims and survivors by getsbetter.
475 points, ended January 25, 2007, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pick! It's up to YOU! by redmarkonthewall.
525 points, ended March 6, 2007, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 1st Round: Anything you want......:D [[Closes in 1 hour!]] by xox-lankan-xox.
450 points, ended April 18, 2007, 171 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - THE BEST OF THE BEST! by SecretMe15.
320 points, ended May 1, 2007, 7 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Quotes and Songs! by oh willoughby.
1330 points, ended June 8, 2007, 23 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by My Darkness.
450 points, ended July 8, 2007, 29 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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great metaphor... maybe you should retire this poem though... just a thought... lovely write, thanks for entering and good luck to you!
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very VERY good poem!
thanx for ebetering
and god luck!
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a great poem
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congratulations.
this is excellent, superbly written. congratulations on your gold trophy, very well desereved i must say,
kind regards,
floorboards.
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Excellent
I loved reading this. It has so much meaning and I love how you described yourself/your life as a flower. It was so well written. Awesome Job!
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WOW!!!!! How many can relate to this one? I think most people can relate in one way or another! I know I have been that flower/weed before too. and well wouldn't like to be there again. no fun!!!!!
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This is truly amazing! So much metaphoric power here...giving the reader a look into the essence of you.....wow! What an awesome poem! Smiles, Terry
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Wonderful
OMG, wow I'm so amazed. I really love this poem! It's actually very well written, I loved how it ryhmed and this was just truly amazing! Where'd you get the idea for this poem? You have a lot of talent when it comes to poetry and I'm sure in much more. Thanks a lot for entering my contest. I really liked this poem, so I'm putting you in the next round. Good luck!
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Wow
Wow. What can I say? This is definetly worth considering fo a place. Very good write, amzing use of metaphor and good choice. You brought it across so well. Genius! -
I love the first two lines! "I grew in shame's garden of dandelion dreams." I bet someone could draw/paint an incredible picture from just those few words. Would be interesting to see what people came up with. The whole poem is great, but for some reason those first two lines really stand out to me! And, what a cute picture of the little one blowing the dandelion!! Congrats on the silver trophy. Write on! Kimbelry G.
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Thanks Kimberly! Your sweet comment is greatly appreciated! Those first two lines are what stuck in my head after I saw Gary's image of the dandelion. I immediately had to grab the pen and paper because it just poured out of me!
Thanks for reading and congrats on your gold in this contest!
~Lori
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i love this poem, it is very original. you have great talent for words
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Thanks so much, forgetmenot! I'm happy you enjoyed this write!
~Lori
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3 claps...9pts
Reward from The Poetic Bandits reading list
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Wow, a great poem...a good metaphor used to explain a personal sadness, and it just washes over the reader through every line...the dandelion is a strong and durable flower, I think that's why lion is a part of it's name...I'm glad you are strong too, I found this to be extremely emotional, it really touched me...thank you for sharing...
Nice rhyme...
Love and smiles...
~Lilac :f
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Thanks so much Lilac for your lovely comment on this piece! I agree, the dandelion is ferocious like the lion, strong and proud of what it is.
~Lori
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how wonderful! i loved this! i think that this is so powerful which is just incredible since the metaphor uses a dandelion--- not something we associate with 'powerful' usually. well done!!
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Thanks UnderThere for the great comment! It's much appreciated! We might not view a dandelion as powerful typically, but they can be strong and hard to be rid of, like me, I keep bouncing back! :S
~Lori
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Aw, this is a wonderful, beautiful poem. I love it. There isn't really anything new that I can say - everyone else seems to have already praised you quite thoroughly. *smiles* you are a truly talented poet.
Stay smiling and keep writing
Poll -
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Thanks so much Polaja! Your sweet comment is truly appreciated! Thanks for giving this a read!
~Lori
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Lovely...
use of metaphor here!
I love this write! And the pic is wonderful as well!
Your rhyme is excellent, girl! How do you do it?
Impressive...
Blessings! Tammy
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Tammy, you are too kind, my friend! See my head swelling!
I truly appreciate your wonderful comment! Thanks so much!
~Lori
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forgot my applaud oops
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Thank you so much!
~Lori
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very good! I love it! simple yes, but man I feel for the flower
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Thanks goingsomewhere for your sweet comment! It's much appreciated!
~Lori
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Simple but...
Fun read, Ink. I thought this was a really well described poem and you wrote it well, and with a lot of flow. Good job. -
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Thanks for the lovely comment on this piece, Nathaniel! It's much appreciated!
~Lori
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this is a great way to express beauty
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Thanks for the lovely comment, southsidesfinest! It is greatly appreciated!
~Lori
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Very good
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Thanks for the wonderful comment on this piece, TimDisneysgirl! I really appreciate it!
~Lori
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That is.......I meen WOW
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excellent
Very pretty write, as I was reading your words reflect my own attitudes toward this flower, when I mow my grass I go over them at least twice to be sure I got them and yet this same flower reflects beauty in a vase when my children pick them and set them in the middle of the dinner table. Very enjoyable read and great metaphor choice.
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Thanks so much for the lovely comment, June-bug! It's greatly appreciated! I know just what you mean, we think of a dandelion as a weed and a nuisance until we're presented with a bunch of them gripped by little hands. Then they are the most beautiful of flowers!
~Lori
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Wow I love this!!!
You see, lately I hven't been enjoying rhyming poetry but this changed my mind greatly! Very deep, more than I expected, and I love the extended metaphor, it's a sign of talent!
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comment on this piece, rooibos! It is greatly appreciated! I'm pleased to hear that this rhyming piece was so enjoyed!
~Lori
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A very nice write. Well written and a piece many can relate to. Well Done. Keep them coming and blessed be.
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Thanks so much, Darklilly, for the lovely comment on this piece! It's very appreciated!
~Lori
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Great job ~
Great metaphoric use and grammatical choices ~
I had such hearty roots,
my stem, it didn’t bend,
until they poisoned me
and brought upon my end.
Killed me ever slowly,
I died before their eyes.
They watched me as I wilted,
my withering demise.
Very well done ~
Bear ~ -
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comment on this piece, Bear! I truly appreciate it! I'm pleased that you enjoyed the read!
~Lori
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A very special poem Lori, relating this in connection with your own life is right on. Great rhymes and visuals with this piece, perfectly done. Good luck in the contest and thanks for sharing little sis.
Ck
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Thanks so much for reading, Charley! I really appreciate you taking the time to bring a smile to my face with your kind remarks!
~Lori
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Aww this is sad and yet so powerful. It really brought me into the poem. There is nothing simple about a flower.
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Thanks Lady Altheia for you sweet comment on this piece! I means a lot to me! Thanks for checking it out!
~Lori
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This is a really good piece. The mataphor you used was great. The rhyming and flow were good, making this a nice read.
Keep up the excellent work;
I wish you lots of luck in the contest!
Annie
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Thanks for the wonderful comment on this piece, Annie! I really appreciate you giving this a read!
~Lori
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Wow!
Love the picture and the poem even more~! It's such a Lovely piece. Nicely put! A Flower like all things should have an end too eh! Sad truth but it's such a beautiful write! -
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Thanks for the lovely comment on this piece, Spring Dale! I really appreciate it you taking time to give this a read!
~Lori
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Very deep and creative write you have penned - liked the brevity of the lines and the flow of the verses as they take one through these sentiments you have expressed so well here. Wonderful metaphor used throughout this poem. Life renews itself through the seeds of the dandilion and there is hope that more is yet to come, even from the death of the original plant.
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Thanks for the great comment, grannyeri! It is very much appreciated! I'm pleased that you enjoyed the read!
~Lori
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Aww this write was so precious and beautiful. You've done a great job. The best of luck to you in the contest.
Kari -
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Thanks for the sweet comment on this piece, Kari! Your kind words are much appreciated!
~Lori
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Beautiful
This is am outstanding write Lori. I loved the form and flow and the thythm and rhyme were just superb. The emotion conveyed was poignant and tangible. great wrok sweetie Bunny
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Thanks so much Bunny! Your wonderful comment is truly appreciated. I'm pleased you enjoyed the metaphorical write!
~Lori
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Just a simple flower is a thing of great beauty, but as luck would have it, exterior beauty never last.. This is a wonderful read... thought provoking and intense. THanks for sharing and best wishes always,
Blessings,
Frogz~
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Thanks so much for the lovely comment, Frog! It is truly appreciated!
~Lori
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This is so lovely, I'm not one for rhyme usually, but this really is sensational, it seemed to amplify the simplicity of the flower in question, and I loved how you made a weed (of all things) beautiful with your words. This is truly sensational.
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Thanks so much blacksummer for your lovely comment on this piece! It is very much appreciated! I'm pleased you enjoyed the read!
~Lori
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Wow-
Powerful verse You have penned my Friend with
a Magnificent rhyme~
images that Touch the Heart yet also brings Inspiration to feel the empowerment from this
precious Flower~
Thank You for sharing Your Talent!
Best wishes to You in the contest
Many blessings too
and much love~ Desire~*~
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Desire, thank you so much for your lovely comment and applause for this piece! It is truly appreciated, my friend!
~Lori
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A lovely write deep with emotion. Beautiful metaphor. Very good imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Vivid descriptives. Very good word choice. Excellent last verse. A well crafted piece.
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Thank you for the lovely comment on this write, Shelley! It's much appreciated, my friend!
~Lori
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You're very welcome. It's a pleasure to read your poetry. Shelley
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So Cute
This is a darling poem poem. This is creative and well crafted. It was a joy to read.
Peace
Debbera
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Thanks Debbera for the sweet comment on this piece! It's much appreciated!
~Lori
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Sad and sweet - I like the melancholy that is infused the choice of images you used in your metaphor. Absolutely stunning - best of luck in the contest.
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Thanks so much TJ for the wonderful comment on this piece! It is greatly appreciated! I'm pleased that you enjoyed the read!
~Lori
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God has blessed you
As a recovering alcoholic
I`ve not many answers perhaps just one
Whenever I`m feeling suicidal
I flip through my mind for definitions
Suicide: A permanent solution
for a temporary problem. Ta Da!
Then I pray to my God for forgiveness
Always aware that He is there for me.
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Thanks so much, Bob, for the wonderful comment on this piece! I truly appreciate it! Congratulations on your sobriety! I know what a difficult thing alcoholism is to overcome. It runs rampant in my family.
Take care
~Lori
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I can so relate to this write as I read I imagine my life as if it was going at one time this time has pasted for me but I felt the pain of the loss great flow in these words well written poetry...
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Thanks so much for the wonderful comment on this piece, blondone! I really appreciate it! Your kind words always make me smile!
~Lori
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B E A U T I F U L
Rich beautiful words and a metaphoric write that just explodes in the readers mind. This brings back memories of childhood for me. Your rhythm and rhyme were impeccablel. Excellent work! Always a pleasure to read your work, always a pleasure! ~Tia
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Dearest Tia, you are too kind! Thanks my friend for the lovely comment! Your sweet words always make me smile!
~Lori
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this is awesome. very powerful. im not quite sure what to say about this. i like the rhyming very much and i like the metaphor comparing a person to a dandilion. this makes me think of a friend of mine who is no longer with us. but that doesn't matter, this is a very good write keep it up!!!
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Thank you so much, Phantom Dreamer222, for your wonderful comment! It is greatly appreciated!
~Lori
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A most beautiful write and felt from all who has lost one so dear . Like a flower dismissed from life then brought back from a loveing breath from a angel childs lips . Life does go on
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Great write, Lori. The last stanza says it all. I love your writes; Good Luck in the contest and God Bless You.
LisaMarie
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Thanks for the wonderful comment on this piece, LisaMarie! It is greatly appreciated, my friend!
~Lori
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Wow
This is just brilliant Lori. Your metaphors spoke volumes about your past. You did this brilliantly, but I am also sorry for such a sad past. No matter how strong there always seems to be a way that others can bring you down. But it's the getting up and going on that shows what courage you have.
My beswt to you with this write.
Gay;enes
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Gaylene, thank you so much for the wonderful comment on this piece! I truly appreciate it, my friend. I continue to deal with the past through words. It's working!
~Lori
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Oh how I remember blowing those silky topped little dandys. you brought back memories, it is such amazing write I had to read and re-read, I havn't seen one for years. Good title and pictures.
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Thanks ronnica for the lovely comment on this piece! I really appreciate it!
~Lori
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VERY BEAUTIFULLY WRITTEN!
I like to think of this as when the dandelion dies its seeds are blown by the wind to new places where it will again bloom and show the world its beauty. Wonderful write Lori.
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Kevin, thanks so much for your wonderful comment! I truly appreciate you taking time to read through this piece.
~Lori -
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DEAR LORI
I loved the way you used metaphors in this one, I sincerely feel we all are flowers with our own special beauty, we may wilt and pass on but we never die. Great poem.
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Glorious!
What a brilliant and emotional writting... I stand in awe of your darring... I only wish that I could write like this, and portray such a Glorious vision...
Wonderful effort!
~ James ~
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Thanks so much James for the lovely comment on this piece! Your wonderful words made my heart smile
~Lori
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bravo!
Lovely, lovely, so very light, airy and lovely...a fine, gentle poem...wonderful...bravo! bravo! bravo!
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Thank you Eusebius for the wonderful comment on this piece! Your kind words are very much appreciated!
~Lori
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a very touching piece, your ability to say so much in so few words is remarkable. The poem flows gently, with great rhythm and rhyme. I hope your past is behind you and that you can rebound in the future (as dandelions tend to do! ) A very enjoyable piece. Well written.
Rory
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Rory, thanks for the wonderful comment on this piece! I truly appreciate it! I'm glad you enjoyed this write! I'm putting the past behind me, slowly but surely, and I'm blooming again!
~Lori
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Wow this is so great, I love the border. The border and picture go so well with your poem. Such a vivid picture of a dandilions life you have painted. Good luck in the contest
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Thanks so much, Theresa! I love this border, too. I've been waiting for the chance to use it and Gets picture was the inspiration. I wish the color of the two matched better, but oh well. Thanks for stopping by for a read, my friend!
~Lori
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touching
you have such soft gentle rhythm and rhyme to this, flowing from the paper and melting into my mind...absorbing your pain and the release you are dealing with...such talent, again I am glad I stummbled upon you. Bravo to your courage and inspiration to your battles...
Becky
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Thanks Becky for the wonderful comment! I really appreciate your sweet words! I'm happy you enjoyed the write!
~Lori
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Beautifully written Ink, and the wallpaper fit perfect. Your rhyme was right on que, and the story was explaned picture perfect! Very nice job my friend. Thank you for the entry...GETS
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<
Thanks for the wonderful comment, Gets! It's much appreciated. I love this border and I've been waiting to use it, so thanks for the great image that sparked the piece!
~Lori
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the poison
The poison washed away
and given another chance to bloom
For you there is beauty
and love to wash away the gloom
The sun shines bright upon you
your face alights with happiness
and you know now here's a second chance
A flower truly blessed
~Samantha
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Awww, thanks so much Samantha! You're such a dear! I love the verse, thank you!
~Lori
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