The Storm
My heart is empty
Bruised as it's been kicked around
It doesn't know how to feel anymore
Only time can tell when the storm will calm down
It's raining in my head
Clouds of frustration above
Lightening images of the past I see
His name I still cannot speak of
Raindrops are the memories
Lightening bolts are his words that cut through the sky
Fog sets in like a blanket of the unknown around me
The wind is the reality as I watch the past fly by
The storm in my head will end soon
This black heart will soon be dead
New and unknown is shining through like a rainbow
To see my new future I must follow its tail to the end
Author notes
This was written after the first time I was actually really in love, and...the first time I was ever broken up with. I was never on the recieveing end of that before. It hurt like no other hurt I have ever experianced before.
A contest entry
- January New Members Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended February 15, 2007, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Thanks for entering
Now this is a beautiful love poem of love and loss. The imagery is fitting and truly enhances the reading experience as I can feel all the hurt and need and then the relief of promise at the end.
A good fluid flow is maintained and the rhythm is kept throughout the piece.
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
A warm welcome to All Poetry!
I can feel the hurt in this piece, your anguish rings strong and I'm sorry you feel that way
Thank you for entering the contest
I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!
abscessed
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Beautiful
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Thank you for your entry and welcome to Allpoetry!
I liked "it's raining in my head"
You can always move on from having your heart broken. Never give in
Thanks for entering and welcome to the site
Faerie
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I have never been 'dumped' before, but I have had a little bit of a broken heart. So I could relate to this, I wish you the best in life, and in the New Members Contest.
Also, Welcome to AllPoetry, its great to have another poet among us. If you ever need a poem commented on, please send me the link, and I'd be glad to stop back by and read it.
good luck
-shirley- -
Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!
They way in which you have penned this poem has spoken all on its own, so many others have shared this experience, yet each one is unique in its own way. Very relatable, nice job Thank you very much for taking the time to write for and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to Allpoetry 
Dove
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thanks for entering!
thank you for sharing this with us and for entering the contest,, I think this a good poem, little long on the sentances for it, but that's just me,, I think you can par down a few words and still get the say effect....
good luck to you in the contest and welcome to the site!!
Krystal -
Welcome to AllPoetry
And thanks for enterring the contest. You have written a piece that has many of us rememberring that first heart break. You describe it well from the inside out.
Best of luck in the contest and once more, welcome to the site. -
The first broken heart is always a tough one. Nicely descriptive write with some great imagery. Nicely done. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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Thanks for entering
Yes that is one hurt you will never forget. I like the flow of this and the expression of your pain. I would make one suggestion and that would be to make the lines more uniform.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry.
God Bless
Tammy
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