my blood is black.
just like your soal.
so cold and scared.
lying down in my grave.
as i kill myself eachday.
as rivers of tears roll down my face.
for thinking i was losing you.
never to see light.
never to eat again.
to sleep forever.
that would be my life.
if i lost you.
A contest entry
- Hit Me With Your Best Shot (Pre-writes allowed) by Dark Whispers.
315 points, ended April 2, 2007, 41 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make this THE largest Contest EVER on AP [enter, enter, enter!] by Symphony.
18000 points, ended April 28, 1011 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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"just like your soal." <-- should be soul
interesting thoughts here, that it is black - yet life would end should it be lost .... i like where you went with it.
thanks for entering. -
in second line soal should be soul
any way, nice write
by
the poet of hearts and beautiful words
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I like your poem, but it has a few errors:
Line 2: soal should be soul
Line 5: i should be I
Line 5: eachday should be each day
Line 7: i to I
Last line: i to I
The poem itself was good though -
awwe i liked it. only thing though.. soal is actually spelled.. soul. lol but otherwise i like it <3
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Yes, indeed I fully understand how you must feel to find someone's sole is black when you thought it was pure. A spectacular poem.
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