I sit here at your favorite table,
drinking your favorite almond flavored
coffee. A single, lonely daffodil sits
in a small vase of water, compounding my
aloneness.
Opposite of the table, is your favorite
old bookstore, "Rumor Wednesday", odd name
for a book store I always thought. You'd
spend many hours in it's basement, sneezing
from the dust as you poured over the old,
out of date books you so loved.
I sit here with the letter from your lawyer,
on the table, stating in bold black and white,
that our divorce was final. I trace your
name with my fingers, perhaps to remember
the feel of your hair or the softness
of your skin.
I always thought I'd stood a chance, you know,
of changing your mind, even after the papers
were finalized, to prove to you that I had
changed, to give us another chance.
It's been three months now and I still come
here every day to sit at our table, to look
at the bookstore, the street corner and remember
how this hole in my being was created.
The car came out of nowhere, careening wildly
around the corner, running the red light,
you were in the cross walk, you never stood a
chance to move, I couldn't run to you fast enough,
my feet were encased in tar, sticking to the earth
with every step, then I got there too late.
I miss you, so much, I am so sorry for everything,
I thought we would have more time, I would have
more time, but your time ran out, and I sit here with a
single, lonely daffodil and not you.
In a list
A contest entry
- Another word bank contest by Gypsy-Princess.
380 points, ended January 9, 2007, 8 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - i want you but something has to change by hippy love.
310 points, ended January 11, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Level One: Difficulty: Painless by IndividualEleven.
600 points, ended January 29, 2007, 182 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewrites Galore and Nothing More by Spork--.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - So you think you are good huh???...find out... by LoveNeverDies.
309 points, ended March 18, 2007, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 19 of 19
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great
this poem seems to be very personal and very discriptive which may at times be hard for other people to understand the meaning behing it it was a great write but im sure it didnt hold the same meaning for me as it did to you great write and i would really love to see a more general rhyme from you i think it would be an amazing piece so if you have one please enter it i would be honored thank you for entering and best of luck in the contest to you -
It's so sad. I love it. Especially the ending. It's very nicely written. I thought, from the title, that your poem was just going to be about a flower, but it was much more than that. "Hole in my being was created", I'm just going to have to say thank you for not using the cliche, "hole in my heart". I was a little surprised with it. So it deserves to be pointed out.
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Merry meet Lovely Amaranth,
Thank you for your wonderful comments. Thank you for your praise, I try to stay away from cliches as much as possible. I have to admit that that particular cliche didn't even enter into my mind as I was writing this. Thank you again for your praise.
Amythest
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GOOD READ!
I SO ENJOYED THIS AWESOME WRITE. GOOD LUCK IN THE CONTEST!
KEEP ON PENNING
POETDONTKNOWIT -
Beautifully Emotional...
You show the love and the emotions, the sadness...But you also describe the circumstances beautifully, once again making them sad. This is a beautiful poem...Very well written...
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Merry meet sensualrose,
Thank you for your winderful comments and for your applause.
Amythest
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Wow.
"I thought we would have more time, I would have
more time, but your time ran out, and I sit here with a
single, lonely daffodil and not you."
I love this line. Makes for a lonely, stand-alone ending.
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Merry neet Soft Words,
Thank you for reading my poetry and for your applause.
Amythest
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AM, I am of two minds here. Generally I am intolerant of 'poetry' which is prose cut up into lines - such a lot of people write like that because they are incapable of anything better. It takes a good talent to make something out of 'poetrified prose', and I think you are fairly well on track here. Why? Because we are listening in to the ordinary thoughts of a person who is steeped in her own loneliness, and you are conveying that emotion very, very effectively.
I am holding back from applauding for a couple of reasons. Effective though it was, it could have been laid out in straight prose and would have worked just as well as a prose vignette. Plus I feel the verse about the accident is actually unnecessary, simply because you have conveyed the sadness so well with nothing more than the divorce, and the nostalgia.
I am going to question your choice of the word "careening", which means cleaning the hull of a beached boat. I suspect that you mean "careering". But if the choice of words is deliberate, then it is a startling image - the car would be cornering out of control, heeling over like a stranded barque! I wonder if you will be good to us and tell us which word you did mean to use.
Oh all right - one tap of my magic wand for conveying the emotion so well
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Merry meet Mairi bheag,
Thank you for commenting and for the applause. The idea of the accident is to show that even though we may think we still have time to work something out, time may not be on our side. They may have gotten back together or not. Divorce, while final in one sense, is not finally in the sence that death is. I know several couples that have gotten back together despite their divorce. The choice of the word "careening" according to Webster's Unabridged is the 5th defination listed: (of a vessel) to lean, sway or to tip to one side wile in motion: The car careened around thr corner. What I was seeing in my mind are those car chases where the car comes screeching around the corner, barely in control of the driver. Thank you for asking and giving me a chance to clear up any confusion about which defination I was using. Thank you again for the comments and for the applause.
Amythest
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Wow!
I don't mean to be so vague, but for a moment I felt speechlessly dumbfounded. I wish there was a better way to describe this story. I'm going to add you to my favorites. So I can find more of your work wheneever I want. Cool?
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Merry meet BrokenLockBox,
Thank you for your wonderful comments and for the applause. I am honored that you wish to add me to your favorites. Thank you.
Amythest
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Wow. Sad and poignant, just really beautiful. A little hard to read with the background you've chosen, but I do think it is a very fitting choice of an aesthetic to go with your words, image and tone...
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Merry meet TJ,
Thank you for your comments and applause. I darkened the print a bit more and hopefully that will help to alleviate the problem. My nephew has the same initals as you do, doesn't really mean anything I know, but I was amused and had to pass it along. Thank you again.
Amythest
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awww its really sad but i love the poem things like thsi do happen and there is othing anyone can do about them good work xxx
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tears to my eyes
I read this poem to my class as I was reading it and tears were like unflowing in my eyes and my teacher wanted to know if I needed to go to the nurse's station. I was so embarassed, but this is just such a beautiful and yet depressing poem and I could feel all of the emtoion being penned down into it and when I was reading it I could place myself there and I could clearly see everything, the imagery, the detail, the description, everything in this poem is just so wonderfully done. If you doon't win this contest, i will be very dumbfounded. Your poetry is just amazing and I love it so much. I enjoy reading everyhting that you write.
Blessed Be!
~Crystal -
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Merry meet Crystal,
I am honored that you read this to your class. I do wonder what your class thought of my poem. Thank you for your wonderful compliments and I didn't win, but I thank you for your support.
Amythest
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This is so sad and beautifully expressed by deep and penetrating emotion. Thanks so much for sharing and good luck in my contest... x Butterfly.
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Merry meet,
Thank you for your applause and for the opportunity to enter your contest.
Amythest
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