I missed you before I met you
dates were weighted
by time spent looking
at what I hadn't found
by ink blotted journal
recording computerese
read only memory...
dressed in leopard-print
lycra clinging to skin
aching for release
that revealed all of me
the saint
the sinner
the lover
the poetess
with a red book
full of telephone
numbers of guys
all called Chance
who never danced
the need
to change I into we
or sang sweet surrender
on my answerphone
gifting me
what no one else could bring
moments
matured like a burgundy
within the here
now and oh how
you were worth the wait
taking me nowhere
yet everywhere at the same time
A contest entry
- A little bit of myself by perfect motion.
550 points, ended June 28, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Hit me with EVERYTHING. PW OK! by z etoile.
375 points, ended March 28, 2008, 56 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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Intersting. Looks like patience was on your side which is good!
Great job how you put this in your poem awesome job! -
good write
but i don't know. sometimes, i think it is more about tolerance than patience. you know? in my opinion, 'patience' means you kinda' have to wait. 'tolerance', on the other hand, means your waiting cause you want to. understand? this of course, is just MY opinion. love GYPSYfish -
Ok I must say this confused me just a bit but I can see where it comes from and sorta agree with it Good write
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This is something everyone can relate to... we all have trouble/difficulties open ourselves up to new people.
Good Job.
~MotherMachineGunn~ -
"guys/all called Chance"
I simply love that line. Wow. There is so much in those 4 words. Oh! How I can relate to that.
Love the title, also.
Beautiful work here. Beautiful.
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Ahh the balance of the traffic lights, the red and green scene so well described here flowing in cars of leopard skin lycra (meaow) with such fluidity to that which perfects the future a lonely truth, the self is to be enjoyed for the inner glow this the last line i think punctuates the whole grace of the write perfectly and so i bid you respect and much love to the future
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Isnt if funny how one can go nowhere and everywhere with the right person but then everywhere and nowhere with the wrong... Hey they say good things come to those who wait
Loved this Yvette, so vulnerable and honest.
galfalfa
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gal,thankyou for your thoughts on this piece and you are sooooo right re the duality of going everywhere with another and yet feeling it's nowhere,wish I had included that duality within this!!!!!
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I really like this, very fresh wording, but I think it's needs some grammar to make it easier to follow. Great piece though
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increible
incredible in english. sounds like a girl version of a boy's journal. we have been there too, and remain. lol
good luck on the contest. ur ma favorite, hands down. i love how u do this thing, it flows and feels right.
~marcus
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Uplifting
Giving the reader the picture of waiting for the one who is true, you have captured well. Wonderful write! Your last lines reveal a settled tone and comfort is the grace of day. Very uplifting to your readers. Great write, Good luck, Don
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Beautiful
I think this is lovely. Beautifully written and I wish you the best of luck in the contest. Well done and keep up the great work -
Yes! This is surely "Patience in Love". Oft times we feel that when we feel the rush it means to hurry the encounter. But, to savor a good thing is likethe mellow of fine wine. You have captured the essence of taking it slowly. For me, that always seems to make it well worth the wait. An excellent portrayal of the results of taking the time to wait for the right one. I wish you the best in this challenge. Superb!
Always Lovingly ♥
Renee
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Good
Read this one twice(I do that sometimes); first reading I just didn't get all the nuances in it. Now, I feel that I have mastered it sufficiently to say; yes, it's a nice poem, well written (in a modern way); states wishes and desires...any available men out there? Go sing in her phone machine, I can't do it all!! LOL. Any man would be richer for knowing you so deeply I'm sure. This was lovely, thanks for entering my contest. I will surely give this poem the consideration it well deserves. Good luck now and in your love life as well. Walt.
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Lovely
I absolutely love this it is wonderful. so truley amazing the flow is immaculate and is as fluid as a running stream. Great Job, Yvette.
*Go with God*
Valerie
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Yvette you're certainly one special lady,the way you dance the words into perfect order to allow normaly plain words to shine.I know this is very clever I loved the line about the answerphone,,,,,,,,,very well thought out indeed,a real pleasure to read.Shug
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You certainly are miss patience.. I hope that in the end, the little red book was able to be thrown away and that divine happiness, deserved... was delivered... superb write, goodluck in the contest
Karen
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