If there are words
To describe the pang within
That comes early in the morning
When I look over to my side
And see your face, but feel nothing,
Those words must be colored in deep hues
Of longing and loneliness
Tinted with a caress of your hair,
Painted across me...
I am the color of you.
Author notes
Originally released on DeviantArt on October 6th, 2004.
http://www.deviantart.com/deviation/11195764/
In a list
A contest entry
- rite me a poem for the one u luv by a means to an end.
385 points, ended February 15, 2007, 51 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
I encourage advanced critique. Thank you.
Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Really great job
I think that you have captured your feelings and dissapointments in this relationship very well here. I think that the idea of having someone is not idealistic anymore, it has become more of a comforting feeling. Being "alone" and being "lonely" are two completely different things. You can have a significant other and a million best friends who surround you at all times but if you do not have that one person who you know through and through 100% and they know you as well, your life could seem incomplete and all emotions will have to flee in order from feeling so vulnerable....great write, please keep writing, I enjoyed this a lot! Best wishes.
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Good
Good write Words don't always decribe what we feel. The hurt goess deep. I like you last line "I am the color of you." Color does describe somethings well.
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this is beautiful and something i haven't seen yet, its orignal and i liked it alot! great write
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I liked this - thank you for entering.
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it's a very good poem here, to look beside you and to feel nothing
That was the saddest line i read,
Thank you for sharing,
Demi
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this is pretty good. i like the subject esspecially...colors describing the loneliness and such...
keep it up.
=perplexed= -
wonderful
I like this one very much. It says so much.
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