Le Pauvre Villon
He knew it all except himself.
Le Pauvre Villon
He loved a touch of heart-felt song,
But fought too much for hearty health,
And spent too much for scanty wealth
Le Pauvre Villon.
Le Pauvre Petit
He longed for snowfall from the past.
Le Pauvre Petit
No one might love this man you see
Locked in eternal winter's blast;
Words in his pen were frozen fast
Le Pauvre Petit.
Il pleut, il rit,
The world, it never understands,
Il pleut, il rit,
Such is the life I hope to see
And Villon held it in his hands
Although he died in distant lands
Il pleut, il rit.
A contest entry
- Le Pauvre Villon by ea.
500 points, ended January 15, 2007, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Celebrate 14 July... by Vera Rich.
600 points, ended July 22, 2008, 13 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 12 of 12
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ah, too bad you didn't ever link this to the song. Congrats on another gold.
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Interesting ...
but why the villain in the title? I don't see anything in the poem itself to say why you think he was a villain. Just curious.
Anyway, congratulations on your Gold trophies.
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You know, I don't remember myself why I called it that. Maybe villain as an outcast? I think Villon had most of his work rejected, and led a fairly lonely life. Thanks for the kind words, by the way.
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You've bagged a brace with this, you sly Aberdonian! and you have referred to the now-proverbial neiges d'antan! Congratulations.
Tell me, are you implying a double-meaning with "il pleut"?
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I was haunted by the words of a poem we did at school.
http://poesie.webnet.fr/poemes/France/verlaine/2.html
Sly Aberdonian indeed! Ah'm no' Will Fyffe! Though the legs are a good match, come to think of it.... -
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{nodding re the Verlaine}
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"Triple rondelet" - NOT O.K as far as I am concerned.
I was brought up to believe that stating the form of your poem you use is a sure way of subconsicously antagonizing editors.. it implies that they might not have spotted the form for themselves - and hence tacitly queries their knowledge and/or competence. (Using the name of the form as the title of the poem: "Sonnet", "Villanelle", "Sestina" is acceptable, but giving the form as an "explanation" or in parenthesis after the title is most certainly NOT).
So, please, before I return to your poem to make the final assessment, CLEAN OUT YOUR "AUTHOR's NOTE" box.
Ah... you have now done so... Splendid... -
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Pardonnez-mois encore une fois. 'Twas done earlier, responding to a request. I agree with you, it's a bit like bumming yoursel' up, as they say around here.
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this is a great entry! I thoroughly enjoyed these and only would want to tweak "And Villon held it in his hands" and make it "Villon has held" just because as a lyric, it would work better in its beat that way. I really love the "Il pleut, il rit" refrain. That works so nicely and I'm glad I didn't limit the refrain to "Le pauvre Villon", on second thought. This will make an excellent addition to the chanson and break up the monotony. Super! Thank you.
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That is a very positive review. Many thanks. I can see your point about the lyricism of "Villon has held", but we hardly ever use the perfect tense around these parts, and, funnily enough, I thought my version more immediate, and a clearer lead on to the next line. So I'll stick with it, if I may. Great competition, by the way. Best Wishes.
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please put what name you would like used in your author's comment box for the song notes at my acidplanet.com account where I plan to record this. thank you.
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Amazing!
This is beautiful. How great of a writer you must be to capture the essence of this person. Wonderfully Written!
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