Always there for each other, full of laughs, full of smiles
Not aware that with time come such testing trials
But as lovers they’d cope, forever surely?
Together forever loving, for eternity
--x--
One man to love, one opportunity to stay.
One opportunity to turn into dismay
One opportunity passing, scattered with jealousy,
As Love turns in time to one bittersweet memory.
Guilty embers burn their soft restless flame,
As I sit wondering why I feel so much hate?
Unwanted and cruel, turning love into ash
One person and another, changed in a flash
My blood in tides impulsively flows
As the anger inside me bubbles and grows
This creature within, never content or at ease
The one I must tame as I never can please
My tongue, the way the creature enters this world
With words of hate I’m not saying slowly unfurled
It snaps and it bites then, calmly away
To rest and awaken for another foray
In restless whispers I try to explain
I can’t stop the creature, I cry out in vain
I love you, I hate you, I cannot control
These feelings slowly eating away at my soul
Trying fiendishly to fix our faults for each other
While still paranoid we’re each with another
Not coping, just hoping we can start ‘new
But all of that comes to nothing for what we have been through
Because the damage’s been done through stolen sweethearts
And nobodies won as we lay down our cards
A lover’s paradise that's washed up on long distant shores
A lost lover’s paradise, not a paradise no more
I loved you, I lost you, just what have I done?
Why did you change into a different someone?
I know I changed too, it can’t be the same
And forever I’m lonely silently taking the blame
--x--
Never meant for each other, never alike
Always ready to break out and fight
But lovers ‘theless and lover’s we’ll be
Apart but still loving, for eternity
By Thomasine Grace Huddlestone
&& George Mirams
Who love each other dearly, whatever they go through and will always be together at the end of it to look back and smile at the good times...I really do love you Thom x
Author notes
Umm..thom wrote a poem, asked me to change it..so we worked on it together ^^
In a list
A contest entry
- Prewrites Galore and Nothing More by HerbalGoat.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 66 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Personal
Comments
1 - 23 of 23
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There are some really good lines ...
in this, and a few not so good ones. I'd say you should revisit this one and do a bit more thinking on it.
Here:
And nobodies won as we lay down our cards (nobody's won)
otherwise, you've done quite a good job with this.
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Thank you
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wow this had a really nice flow. thanks for entering =]
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Holy crap. It's in so many contests! Anyways, focusing. This is a really complex and cool write. I <3 it soo much. It's both sad and hopeful, in waves, like real life and love. Which is just so cool. I adore this. I will now check out your collaberator's (sp?) work because now I'm intrigued. I may come back and comment on more of your poetry! We shall see!
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Lol in too many contests me thinks..well when they finish and it doesnt win I will remove it lol. I like that anology...life and love in waves ^^. My collaberator (sorry i dont know, im going with you
) is my girlfriend hehe, though im not sure if shes put much on here...Thank you for all your wonderful comments, they mean a lot x take care x
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This is a beautiful piece you two have written. The feelings you expressed could be felt throughout your poem. Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck.
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Thank you and good luck with your contest x
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Beautiful and expressive... and just goes to show further that love and hate split the two sides of passion's coin indeed. Thank you for sharing this, and best of luck in the contests!
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Thank you very much for your wonderful comment. Passion's coin, I like that =). Take care! x
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This poem is beautiful and full of emotion. Thank you for entering my contest and good luck!
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Really cool poem. I like the title. It drug me in and made me think. The flow of this poem was nicely done. I like the rhythm and beat in this poem. It's really clever. Keep up the good work.
Love always,
Kristen ♥ -
Well done you two
this is really good
just perfect
first i was a bit worried when i started to relate at some points
and that isnt really a good thing
but i liked the ending
my favourite part was
In restless whispers I try to explain
I can’t stop the creature, I cry out in vain
I love you, I hate you, I cannot control
These feelings slowly eating away at my soul
absolutely awesome write
keep it up
♥ ur sis
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Lol yeah relating to this might not be the best thing..thanks again so much for your comment and applause, it means a lot ^^ Take care big sis x
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I really like this it's a beautiful poem!!!
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Someone has stolen big softie!
From lovey-dovey to poems of jealousy, untrusting smiles, secret tears. hahaha I know it's only the poem, and a very good one at that, well done to all!! WASP. P.S. Good luck against Fulham!
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Good!
I really like this. I know how hard it is to write longer poems...
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Thank you for the comment and applause ^^ x take care x
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this was awesome. definately emotional and SHWEEET. nice job yet again.
-the existentialist -
Woah!
It blew me away...
I love this bit 'My tongue, the way the creature enters this world
With words of hate I’m not saying slowly unfurled
It snaps and it bites then, calmly away
To rest and awaken for another foray' It's amazing.
Hats off to you both
x
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wow
wow.... this is a strong and emotional piece. i love this. wonderful! bravo!
Liz
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Thank you very much for your comment ^^ hehe, glad you like it x take care! x
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aw baby, i love you too i love you x
together forever i love you baby xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
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