Just once to cope, slow to stop
And think to let go.
To answer to myself and for once
Not everyone "above" me.
Deadlines pressing one after the other
Drawing near, but never to a close
And I am everything to them.
Scapegoat, overachiever, "the lucky one",
Superwoman... yet...I am nothing to me.
These things bring not happiness.
Terrified to see the me hidden
Behind this corporate barbie image.
Afraid to not impress, trying hard
To distance myself from the steely shackles
Of the poverty that oppressed my childhood
To overcome everything that they said I would be.
In that I have forgotten everything
The girl I was is no longer even a memory.
And this woman in the mirror lies
Manicured, dyed, plucked, and cinched
Steely eyes; sharp, hard jawline
This once was the face of an innocent.
Here resided once emerald orbs of softness
And rosy cheeks, aglow and sweet
Have been paled by time and pain.
And it feels as though I am lost
Stuck to the red tape that has become my life.
Comments
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I work two jobs, so I feel like I can relate so much with this. Like you, I feel as though I serve only the "gimme" "I want" "I need" and "where's my" (s) of the world. To some I'm the heroic rescuer of their situation,(superhero) to others I am the scapegoat behind the corporate image. Although sometimes, you will find those that will see behind the uniform and the great person you are beneath it. I can count those people on the fingers of one hand.
This is, for me an emotionally wrenching and tugging poem that hits home, right where it counts. You did a wonderful job!
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*Le sigh* As a member of the unemployed masses, I can't relate to this on the level of employer/employee. I can, however, slightly apply this to my school life. I always feel like I'm losing sight of the things I really want when I'm forced down another path, forced to work so hard towards things I don't necessarily want.
This is so well written, though. You capture beautifully the things that you lose in the quest to better yourself. It's so sad that we become so shackled by that quest in the end. Weird, huh?
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I so agree
"And it feels as though I am lost
Stuck to the red tape that has become my life."
EXACTLY one of the main reasons I am a Prince. A prince in the nation of Procrasti. Uggh! I hate this world with quite a passion sometimes. Love to retreat to my own mind out of fear of losing it.
You conveyed everything in poetic verse with flow and diction of quite considerable skill. You covered you, how you are, and how the ugly world of "greenback slavery" forces us all to conform. On top of all that, you hit on something I can relate to in regards of my most undesirable fears. "Acceptance of what you hate out of necessity". I so feel for you dear friend.
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Thanks so much James, for the comment, and as always the ongoing understanding and support. I have not been able to catch up much with friends here or on myspace, but I do miss our im's back and forth on myspace. Due to the hurricane ravaging the coast over a year ago, some wiring has still not been laid into the ground, so though I have my awesome new puter, I still can't get my net cut on until the 27th of Feb. Until then, know that you are in my thoughts. My dear friend.
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Awesome poetry
Hey girl. You have great work on this site. i enjoy reading them when i get a chance. i've been so busy. glad you doing well. keep the writing going. god blessed.
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Darken, if anyone understands busy it's me. Thank you for taking the time to read my work when you get the chance, it is appreciated and I am honored
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Very Good
I say Good in this not so much for the beauty of the words, But more, that you said the words at all, aloud.
If we can look at ourselves stright away, and accept the good as well as our self persacuted alledged failings, we have a great opperntunity to concure ourselves and find peace thru deep acceptance.
There is little perfection in this world, just many very human mortails, wishing to immitate God on earth.
Be blessed that there are so many days left unsaid.
Rick
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Rick, darling, thank you so much for the awesome comment. It is appreciated.
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WOWi love it,, you write diffrent stuff,,,and thats a breath of fresh air,, i know to will this,, im a pray painting Supervisor,, and iv only been doing it for 4 months,, iv pained for 7 years but,, but do i know what its like to have to work longer,, and harder because u answer for the work loand,, and the feeling of not wanting to do this my hold life,, u said it better then i could,,,you use some great words to,,, you might like < > one of mine thats a little like this
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Prime X, thanks so much for the awesome comment on my latest write. I have been meaning to stop by your page and check out your work, but with moving into my new place, my daughter, and my job, I have been most tied up. I promise i'm not forgetting to view your work, i'm making my way to your page.
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eee yikes I think that so many of us can relate to this piece...I hope that you're doing ok sweetheart.
Kari -
Awesome Write
How true we forget or at least try to forget where we came from. Yet this makes us who we are and though you see someone whom you are not familiar with your forever you. Your full of love and passion and of late i have noticed fear as well. But you know what your so very special to me and so many others and even though you feel you have changed from day to day we still se that sweet innocent girl and know she is there. Great write baby and keep your pen always flowing...Love you ,Michael
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We all rush around for different things and it puts so much stress on us all you have described this well. Excellent write Keep up the wonderful writing
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