My sister, My friend,
Why did you have to go away, why did you have to meet your end?
you were there for me,
now I am for you, you were the key,
to everyone's happiness, you were the light,
in everyone's life, I now feel I lost my will to fight,
I feel like dying,
I wish I was lying,
I miss you so much,
and your presence and such,
but I know that you wouldn't want me to cry,
and not want to die,
you would want me to be happy, and remember the memories of you,
I don't know if its something I could do,
so much hurt and pain,
that I feel as I feel the crimson rain,
pour down onto me, over my loss,
my best friend, my sister, payed the cost.
Author notes
this is about my friend Alie Scott who met her unfortunate end friday January 5th, 2007. who died on her way to school by getting hit by a speeding pick up truck.
A contest entry
- Tears Are for the Living by x Gemini x.
600 points, ended January 12, 2007, 19 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sympathy for the Death of an Open Mind by laughingstock.
825 points, ended March 10, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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this too happened to my first love, her name was Tracey. she died in a car accident long ago. I felt her last heartbeat and still have never let go of it.
Overall, this is a true rose of the soul i believe i have just read here. An excellently penned entry.
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This is a heart-breaking poem. It's written straight from the heart and I can appriciate that. My only qualm is if this fits in my contest. This would be a welcome addition if you read my rules and figure out which option it would go under.
It's never a good thing when someone dies. I've lost friends too, and it sucks. My condolences go out to you.
And contrary to what the two comments before me said, I think the form of the poem is pretty good. It's overwhelming but I think it should be. It should convey what you felt not just how you feel. And I think that putting it into stanza's could take away from that. Thank you for entering my contest. Good luck. -
Touching
My deepest sympathies for the loss of your friend.
This was a poignant poem and it certainly conveys how much you cared for her. I agree with the previous poster that putting it into stanzas would benefit the overall perception of the poem.
I hope you'll be ok in time. -
First, let me thank you for entering my contest.
Second:
This poem was very touching. The flow and imagery was very well done. I suggest the use of inserting spaces (maybe making stanzas), so as not to OVERHELM the reader.
Otherwise, this was good.
God rest her soul ~
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