Leaning over this precipice,
Looking down when I should all the more
Look out across your seas,
I am brimming with it.
As a perfume on the salted wind.
I recognize it is you with no trouble at all,
And at once, explosions.
Exploding in color that mocks night’s harshness.
Raucously protesting with a scream and silence,
Leaving a tail of fire and fog.
Day and night by the crest of a wave,
Out on the cleft of fragile stone,
The passing of years never moved me.
However, tonight,
You move me.
A contest entry
- January New Members Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended February 15, 2007, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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Oh this is really really pretty! Sparks*******! hehe! An amazing poem for sure my friend! Rock on! xoxo meg
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Thanks for entering
This poem has some very good imagery and linking it to the vast unbridled power of the ocean expresses the depth and strength of this emotion for you.
The poem has a fluid flow but the rhythm feels hindered and does not read as well.
Good write and truly enjoyed.
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
A warm welcome to All Poetry!
This was beautiful, in a soft almost sensual way
I thought your ending line was very effective!
Thank you for entering the contest
I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!
abscessed
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Thank you for your entry and welcome to Allpoetry!
This is amazing. I feel as though whilst you write about oceans, you are talking about the person you are kissing, and the precipice is leaning into the kiss and leaving behind hesitation.
I adore the line where you speak of it exploding in colour, it is such an amazing and vivid image
Welcome to our site I hope you'll continue writing
Faerie
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A lovely write, nice flow and descriptions. I wish you the best in the contest!
Also I would like to welcome you to AllPoetry, it is such a great place to learn and grow, and recieve positive and helpful feedback, as you can see I really love it. On that note, if you ever need a comment on a poem, please go ahead and send me the link, and I will stop by and comment in as soon as possible!
good luck!
-shirley- -
Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!
This is a wonderful poem and the ending is perfect for it. We all need that someone to “move” us! Nice work Thank you very much for taking the time to write for and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to Allpoetry 
Dove
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Thanks! Now I just need to scrounge up the money to stay on the site! Thanks again.
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thanks for entering
thank you for sharing this with us in the contest.and interesting first you have penned here.I liked it.... good luck to you and keep it flowing -
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Most assuredly.
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Welcome to AllPoetry
What a wonderful love poem. It is vivid in its imagery and each part can be manipulated in the readers mind to form a picture from the readers own frame of reference. That is a nice touch.
Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.
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Thank you. I enjoy leaving it up to the reader and thier own plot in life at the moment to create a millon different poems from one. Thanks again!
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Thanks for entering
Very descriptive. I like how you describe the night and everything and then the last line really puts a finish to it and sets it perfectly.
Good luck in the contest and Welcome to allpoetry.
God Bless
Tammy -
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Thank you very much for the inspiration!
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