Beneath the shadow
of the Great Shepherd’s staff,
in the green lushness of Life’s plateau,
my spirit continues to laugh.
Despite the dumbness of this sheep
to His voice I’ve heeded.
For God’s Love is greater than deep
and to His Principles, I’ve conceded.
My life is filled with abundance
beyond mortal imagination.
Enjoying protection from circumstance
came from obeying rules of His Holy Nation.
From displaying a submissive behavior
towards a God most divine,
I’m covered with blessings from my Savior
and reside in green meadows until Eternity’s time.
Learn more about me and my poetry at:
http://www.squidoo.com/book-isbn-1419650513/
Author notes
Contest: Let There Be Light In My Dark Globe (POSITIVE POETRY)
In a list
- The Newly Revised Christian Group group list • next in list
A contest entry
- Let There Be Light In My Dark Globe (POSITIVE POETRY) by aliceramone.
525 points, ended January 9, 2007, 10 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Words of wisdom, by HowardsDaughter.
385 points, ended April 17, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - You've got inspiration yet again - 15 lines or less by DancingRed.
300 points, ended April 15, 2007, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Help! i really need some inspiration by lucy sky-diamond.
600 points, ended July 14, 2007, 28 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Six by Nam.
425 points, ended October 3, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - An Original Thought by Mark Spencer.
1000 points, ended October 24, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Send Me A Poem by crystallynnbradford.
400 points, ended November 9, 2007, 52 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - One Whole Year by Death of the Author.
600 points, ended November 13, 2007, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Good Fight by second-born.
500 points, ended January 2, 2008, 9 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your best PW from 2007... by O.o.
1000 points, ended January 11, 2008, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Theme "Jesus" aka Based on Christ 2 by C.o.g..
1200 points, ended February 20, 2008, 27 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Need some inspiration by ml12.
850 points, ended July 4, 2008, 13 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 82 of 82
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Well done
Joe,
Another well crafted piece. Beautifully conceived and well executed as always. You are truly a prolific and talented writer.
Fred (Drybones) -
very well written!!
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the rhyming wasnt forced, i like the lighthearted feel to this poem, and your love and emotion shows through.
great write, thank you. alex -
Great job. Loved this, there was good rhyme and rythym. It was simplistic and easy to understand. Great message as well.
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great, great job on this piece!
♥ Kathraina
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Wow. You sure entered this in a lot of contests! I think if you want to make this page a little easier to read, you should remove it from the contests it didn't win in. That way there won't be such a long list that distracts from the actual poem. As for the poem itself, I think it is well crafted and really speaks to the heart of the spiritual. I'm not christian myself, but I can still notice a well written poem when I read it, and this is one of them. Congrats on winning both a bronze and an honorable mention on this, it really deserved them! Good job
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I enjoyed reading your poem.
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Nice enjoyed reading.
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Positive is good, and this piece tells us why we can be, despite the darkness which is creeping over our globe. Yes--a sort of contemporary expansion of Psalm 23.
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My life is filled with abundance
beyond mortal imagination.
Enjoying protection from circumstance
wow. that got me thinking.
now my head is spinning.
great write.
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I liked this, a kind of twist to Psalm 23, a psalm that i really love, your rhyming was well done, and the words that you chose were descriptive and beautiful, great write!
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I like the simply but effective rhyming pattern and the positivity portrayed right through this poem. I liked the metaphors and I wish you the best of luck in the contest
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good i want to say all in one
I thought it was pretty good. A little boring and cliche to be honest, but the rhyming flowed well. The only one I'm confused is "abundance" and "circumstance," cause they sound totally different. I liked the imagery in the beginning, and the metaphors (I couldn't tell if this was all literal based on the subject of the poem). A very beautiful peice of work, so peaceful to read as well. I really got the feel of being in this green meadow with the saviour as the shepherd which is one of the names of God incidentally. You truly love the lord with all your heart. i really like this poem it says so much so so many descriptive words i like the flow of the rhyme something so touching can rhyme well thats cool, congratulations on the bronze and the green, good luck with all future contests with this poem, all the trophies you win on this one is well deserved, you have a great thought process, also i love how the light green background ties it all together even tighter, keep writing,
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I thought it was pretty good. A little boring and cliche to be honest, but the rhyming flowed well. The only one I'm confused is "abundance" and "circumstance," cause they sound totally different. I liked the imagery in the beginning, and the metaphors (I couldn't tell if this was all literal based on the subject of the poem).
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A very beautiful peice of work, so peaceful to read as well. I really got the feel of being in this green meadow with the saviour as the shepherd which is one of the names of God incidentally. You truly love the lord with all your heart.
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Great
Not only depicted a nice picture, but one as seen through the eyes of a faithful to a religion an teachings. -
I love this, great imagery, paints a great picture in my mind.. Nice write, keep up the good work =]
Leila xxx -
Congrats on the trophies. This is a lovely piece. Your faith is obvious. Thanks for sharing.
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i really like this poem it says so much so so many descriptive words i like the flow of the rhyme something so touching can rhyme well thats cool, congratulations on the bronze and the green, good luck with all future contests with this poem, all the trophies you win on this one is well deserved, you have a great thought process, also i love how the light green background ties it all together even tighter, keep writing, -Amy
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This is a great poem... the flow is amazing, and your language usage is perfect. I really love how you penned this one...
Thank you for the wonderful read,
and keep penning poet
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I like the theme of this poem. It is is very positive. My favourite part is the first stanza. It is really happy and good-natured poem I would change nothing. Very well written! My, those are alot of contests you've entered^_^
Emma
Check out my poetry! My name is I-Love-Donegal
Don't forget to comment.
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Your message is clear and you portray it in style. You sound as though you have been greatly rewarded for your faith and I thank you for sharing this poem
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You certainly share a positive message, but I think this would sound ten times better if the meter was consistent, instead of jumping around... The rhyme is good, but there really isn't any meter, and it makes the read choppier.
Using meter makes rhyming poems sound much smoother.
Thanks for featuring and sharing,
-Shirley -
I love this poem. Its very well written! Not quite my style but still good! <3 Princess Peaches xoxo
P.s.
Keep Writting
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Hello there!
Thanks for sharing this poem with us.
Have an awesome day,
BJ.
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Is this any relation to Plasms chapter 23?
Did you use the K. James version or another?
Knowing which Bible does make a difference as to the readers understanding.
You may want to start posting which Bible you are getting these poetic thoughts from.
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Nice
I enjoyed this poem. It has caught the feeling nicely. -
This was a really great piece. My only suggestion would be to change the word dumbness. There are plenty of words that mean the same. But overall great write. Thank you for sharing this.
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EXCELLENT WRITE YOUR WORDS BROUGHT YOUR POEM TO LIFE EXCELLENT
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Beautiful piece you penned here. Great job. The imagery and flow blended well together. Best wishes to you and thanks for sharing this with me. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
♥ Touchof1der -
Enjoying protection from circumstance
came from obeying rules of His Holy Nation.
Perhaps ommiting came would make the rythm less forced. -
This such a wonderful poem to read and imagine. I really liked this paragraph
From displaying a submissive behavior
towards a God most divine,
I’m covered with blessings from my Savior
and reside in green meadows until Eternity’s time.
This was a great ending to the wonderful poem!
~ruth~ -
It's a simple piece based on a common biblical metaphor of Christ as shepherd. You've personalized it and created some good imagery that reminds me a bit of the 23rd psalm. You have a decent rhyme scheme.
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An enjoyable piece of poetry, religion works for some though not all I think, good luck in the many contests this is entered into.
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Beautiful poem, and a beautiful picture you paint. I bet you God is looking down right now and smiling upon your beautiful poem, like I am :
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Yes! This poem is a great one. One needing to be understood. Becuase it shows the true rewards of obeying the comandments of our God! Also I honor the honesty that you contributed to this poem. Especially in line 5 "Despite the dumbness of this sheep!" Thank you Father and 2nd of all thank you for this wonderful poem and entering my contest! God bless
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Good luck in the contests that you enter... and congratulations on the bronze - it was well deserved... your use of language is masterful I enjoyed the read
Keep writing
Polly -
Well done, You have used your words well to create this beautiful piece of work.
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“For God’s Love is greater than deep…” wow…this is a very good write…a humble praise to honor our God above…and indeed we’ll only have a good fight if we serve Him sincerely…thank you for sharing this wonderful write…
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Really beautiful and inspirational.
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Very beautiful and I love the feeling
that I felt when I read this. Great
flow and imagery as well. Keep it up
and thanks a lot for sharing it here!
Jeremy0826 -
This is beautiful. I enjoyed the read! Blessings!
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This is a great write!! inspirational.
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Liked the rhythm, rhyme and flow of these lines - easy to read and understand what you are saying here.
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Beautifully written
I have to admit that i am not the biggest fan of religios poetry but this is beautifully written and flows like a dream. Powerful writing and I really enjoyed reading this thank you -
Hmm this has got some nice rhyme in it but doesn't really flow well to me. I like the idea of the lush green meadows, though it sounds like I am not going to get there.
Good luck in all the contests and thanks for entering mine. Take care x -
From displaying a submissive behavior
towards a God most divine,
I’m covered with blessings from my Savior
and reside in green meadows until Eternity’s time.
I see people all the time who don’t realize or
understand what must be done (submission)
to obtain the green meadows. Maybe some
of us will understand it because of the way
you said it here.
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I enjoyed reading this poem and I liked how you put it all together. I like this part the best:
Despite the dumbness of this sheep
to His voice I’ve heeded.
For God’s Love is greater than deep
and to His Principles, I’ve conceded.
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short but nicely done all the same, good luck and thanks for entering
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Awe Inspiring...
What a wonderful and inspirational poem you have penned. Such lush imagery you have given life to and flow as smooth as silk. I loved it. Good luck in the contest.
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"My life is filled with abundance
beyond mortal imagination."
such power in your words, you wrote this very well.. Good luck in this contest, as well as any others you choose to enter!
great write... keep the pen flowing...
~*~ Poetryistherapy ~*~ -
excellent job!!!
I think that the rhyming and the format really blew me away!!! My favorite part is,"in the green lushness of Life’s plateau,
my spirit continues to laugh." simply amazing!!!
beautiful job, i am so glad that I got to read this, thanks for sharing & best of luck in the contest!!
keep the pen flowing!!!!
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Well done, I wish the the best of luck in this contest and hope you win!!!
Anna -
A beautiful poem with a rich message - personally from you and generally for us all. I enjoy reading short poems, and reading this one this morning has been a blessing to me. I have a suggestion for the second stanza:
Your's [in the tense of already done]:
Despite the dumbness of this sheep
to His voice I’ve heeded.
For God’s Love is greater than deep
and to His Principles, I’ve conceded.
Suggestion [in the tense always will do]:
Despite the dumbness of this sheep
to His voice I'll heed.
For God’s Love is greater than deep
and to His Principles, I’ll conceed.
Good luck with the contest. FransB
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The rhyme in this was really good, JJ. I think that the flow and wording, not to mention the meaning was also very good, as well.
You sure have entered a lot of contests with this piece of writing. I wish you the best of luck in all of them!
Keep up the great work! I look forward to more of your writings and getting some good feedback! -
"For God’s Love is greater than deep" - I do not feel that the word "than" works well in this particular line, or thinking on it again, I think that with "than" and "deep", it just makes it a bit off-centered in the read, even with the next line.
A lovely piece, overall.
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I like the immense infusion of imagery here. There is a lot of nature in this poem and it opens up the senses of the reader. Keep that pen handy dear poet.
midnight lace -
I really like this poem. The rhyme is great, it doesn't feel forced and it just flows. You did a good job on the imagery here as well. The first two lines really caught my attention. I especially liked how you didn't rant on and on about how God is great, God is good in the same old way. You put real emotion into it that can really be felt through your words. Good job, I am indeed impressed
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What a beautiful poem filled with some
great imagery you have written here!
Thanks a lot for sharing it and keep up
the wonderful work here!
Jeremy0826 -
I love the imagery in this piece, it almost leaps from the page and hits you in the face... beautiful zen like qualities to this piece, I enjoyed thoroughly your wods
Karen -
Very intelligent write...
I admire this piece for its imagery and texture of words. It takes a lot of imagination and meditation to write a good poem, and I believe you have accomplished that.
My emotional response is very empathetic. With each line, my emotions tune into what you are saying... which is good.
You wanted my honest opinion, and there you have it... I really prefer not to give criticism, because I would feel like a hypocrite. I am also a poet, just like you, and would not want my work to be criticized.
Keep up the writes!
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Though I've never been really religious myself, I recognize that you are very deeply connected to this poem. Though I don't understand your pride or your loyalty to this god, I wish you all the greatest and hope that you continue to believe whatever you feel is right.
May whatever powers that be be with you, and may fortune follow in your footsteps.
- DarkSun -
a very inspiring piece, with lots of great imagery. thank you very much for your entry, and best of luck
lucy
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Beautiful. I'm not really a religious person (i'm a wiccan) but it is really inspiring to know that your beliefs help you find peace and you in this world.
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nicely done...it was great...bravo....keep up the good work
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That was a very nicely done poem. I can't say I can relate to it, for the simple fact that I don't believe in any religion whatsoever, but it's very deep and I can sense the emotion from within. I'm glad you were able to find a solution to all the problems in the world by believing in a God. I really hope you actually feel this way, it was beautifully delivered. Great job converting to positive poetry if the rest of it was negative, it seems like you are a pro at writing positive imagery. Great job, great write, don't let the pen run dry.
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Grrr, my quick comment box went bye-bye, and I have no idea how to get it back. lol. Anyway, I enjoyed the feeling of this piece, mostly inspired by the language you've used. I always wonder, though, why people cap words like "Life", when the word is strong enough to suggest the stress without that. That's a small thing, though, and I really got into the piece regardless. In the final stanza, should "a God" be capped. I thought it should only be capped when it's used as a pronoun. Anyway, stupid nitpick, I know. lol. I'm just in one of those moods. Loved the poem.
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Lovely poem, portraying a lovely scene. The message is powerful and uplifting. Thanks for entering. Enter again if you want.
DancingRed.
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Very nice! I love anything that brings glory to the Lord!
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This was lovely to read, the message was strong and consistant, and I particulary liked the ryhming scheme, well done and good luck in my contest.
x -
beautiful and true
There is no place I would rather be than with my Lord laying down in green pastures. I too am a dumb sheep made anew by His wonderful voice. Thank you for directing me to this inspiring poem.
- joanne
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Beautiful
Joe,
This is truly beautiful and rings so true. Your love of the Good Shepherd is clearly revealed. Well done my friend.
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Wow, you write beautiful poetry to God. Great job.
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A very uplifting poem!!!!!!!!
Well Joe, this one is simply beautiful. I so love these lines.
Despite the dumbness of this sheep
to His voice I’ve heeded.
For God’s Love is greater than deep
and to His Principles, I’ve conceded.
They made me smile. I can so relate to them.!! Thank you for sharing this lovely spiritual poem. You take care. Take care and God Bless you!! Sandy
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I love the ‘Song of Solomon’ feel of this with the shepherd as its theme and the joy portrayed by you in the form of laughter and contentment. Thank you for sharing your talent here on AP. All my best, Belle
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Amen, brother!!!!! I laughed at the line "Despite the dumbness of this sheep" - you don't even know me, yet you so clearly write about me. Thank you for the write; it brightened my day. We are so blessed by God!
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Awsome
In these short lines, you have captured LOVE. Love of God and what he will provide for you if you but allow Him into your heart. Very good flow to this poem.
Beneath the shadow
of the Great Shepherd’s staff,
in the green lushness of Life’s plateau,
my spirit continues to laugh.
capturing lines at the beginning, I like that. Good luck
Becky
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A delightful, heartfelt spiritual write. Resied in green meadows until eternitys time!! I love that!
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Inspiraytional piece that lets in the light and the dark globe glows stronger, good luck in the contest.
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A wonderfully inspirational piece, my friend. It has filled my heart with beauty. Thank you so much for sharing this. Hugs, Patricia
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Good Luck!
Very well written, nice choice of words to bring out the feelings. If we follow the Good Sheapherd our life will be in the Meadows. -
a very good write...inspirational...thank you for entering this piece and good luck in the contest
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