Her sudden absence has arrived again,
for perhaps a day or two or three or four.
At first, my inquiries had been gently met by passive dismissal,
until the day that bruise was met with blood.
"It's nothing," was not quite enough, so she offered something more
"We're safe by what you do not know."
Not enough for most, perhaps, but I know her eyes,
I know her skill.
The strength of her soul radiates like heat,
and I trust her secrets
Her sudden presence is made known again,
this time by her weight on the bed and me.
I open my eyes to a moonlit face,
and two calm eyes exploring mine.
This time in the dark,
we begin her welcome home.
She takes my hands and presses them to her flesh,
gentle winces to note her marks.
She guides my fingers across abraded lines,
still fresh and warm, and greater in number.
Tonight she does not tell me where to ignite her senses with my lips and tongue.
Tonight she does not have me taste her delicate pain.
Tonight she leans to me, and between roving kisses, so soft and slow.
Tonight she whispers quiet words in a voice new to my ears.
"I like you mine." "I like you here."
Tonight I feel her first tear on my cheek as something in her releases.
"I like you mine." "I like you here."
Tonight I only hold her close and let her fall asleep in my arms as she says,
"I like you mine." "I like you here."
Author notes
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This is NOT a poem about an abused woman who has an affair, just in case you happened to interpret it that way.
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I will explain the idea behind this poem, but I will first warn you that it is such that you may feel that it lessens the poem. Therefore, you may not want to read the explanation.
Read it or skip it. The choice is yours.
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The idea behind this poem is that the female is, essentially, a hero. Like a super hero, she is "called" away suddenly, and can be gone for an unknown length of time, but unlike a super hero, she is just a normal human with great physical skill.
The male is just a guy who has a normal job, with regular hours. In my mind, there is no distinction of them being "married", as I somewhat disapprove of the ceremony, but the two are entirely devoted to each other.
Throughout their knowing each other, she had kept her secret from him, because it's just safer, but because he knew she was a strong, skilled, capable female to would never let herself be a victim, he trusted that these marks were the result of something that she felt was worthwhile, and so he let it go.
But on this time out, while she was physically fighting the forces of evil (as it were), she narrowly escaped death, for the first time, and it "scared" her a little, but mainly gave her a far greater appreciation for the male.
To her, he is an escape from the danger and violence. He is her calm and loving place. He is gentleness. He is safety. Not by what he can provide, but simply by what he is.
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Written May 30th, 2003
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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I like you mine, I like you here...
this is a beautiful peice of art!! i love it. i can't even think of anything else to say but awesome job and i hope to see more!! -
Well done^_^ this is a really great poem. He's her saftey thats so sweet^_^. I really enjoyed it. Keep writting^_^
-Amber- -
It is a sort of role reversal. I like the refrain. I understood what you say here when I read the poem, and the explanation make me quite thrilled I had interpreted it thus. Maybe I once knew such a woman.
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awww...that's beautiful
I really like you're explanation/meaning of this. At first I thought it was a little sad, but it really is a very sweet and precious write. I loved these lines...
"The strength of her soul radiates like heat,
and I trust her secrets"
And I like what you wrote in your authors comments, I guess because I like how you described that it's not what he provides, but just how he cares and how he is there. (sorry if it's confusing)
"He is her calm and loving place. He is gentleness. He is safety. Not by what he can provide, but simply by what he is."
Anyway, I really love this! Great write! Take care and God Bless~
~ Katie
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I would never interpret this as being about an "abused woman"... because you get kind of a sweet emotion out of reading it.... I haven't read a piece like this in quite some time... the flow, the words you used made this so beautiful... I absolutely love how you repeated "I like you mine. 'I like you here'" towards the end... very affective in getting the mood of this piece across..... great write...
best wishes,
Missy
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What leads you to believe I tried at all, so to speak?
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I think you try too hard
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"I trust her secrets"
There is something perfectly romantic in that, h. That is really a perfect line, I think.
This has such a soft, comforting, truly romantic feel to it. -
I loved the way this poem painted an image as I read it..
"I like you mine." "I like you here."
This will haunt me for a while lol not sure why, but those words just hold me...
Guess that's all I should say 'bout that! Loved it!
GypsyDreamer.. off to read more from you
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i'm glad you were "lame", otherwise i might not have read this. woman as superhero...like it. to me, your explanation was as compelling as the work itself. looking forward to reading more of your work...easier now that i have this bookmarked.
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UMM NO DUH>>>> of course women are super heros... LOL
just kidding...
really well done -
I totally adore these lines;
"The strength of her soul radiates like heat,
and I trust her secrets " for some reason that just grabbed me and stuck... very powerful.
I found this poem intense and found myself trying to figure out who/what was causing her pain... like an emotional mystery-ride it was... very good.
Enjoyed this,
~ Wendy
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Interesting.. I did not think of an abused woman in the sense of her being abused by others. I got the sense of someone very strong, who might in a way be abusing herself. I found it interesting and I liked the very subtle way it was said. The strength of her character was obvious to me, and far outshone the male in the poem... sadly though I did not pick up on the super-hero. I quite liked the idea behind...
"We're safe by what you do not know."
~~whims -
I can't say that the sentences are elongated, because that's just how they came out for that character. He's not really a "Me be worried", kind of guy.
I wouldn't call it desperate, but as I said to Disiree, I don't quite have the skill to adequately express the situation without certain things being obvious. There are things that I wanted only alluded to, but I couldn't do it well enough to make them both subtle and known.
About 94% of all my poems are fiction, (so, in that sense, this is fake), though inspired by some genuine thought, idea, or feeling.
Creation is the child of discontent. I don't write much poetry, or even stories anymore. -
What I see in this poem is a desperate attempt to sound poetic my elongating sentences, useing 10 words when 3 will do. It sounds fake and I couln't get to the meaning behind the words because I could not get beyond the words themselves. Maybe it's just me, i don't know.
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Well, actually, there's supposed to be a play on the title. They are both heros, but in different ways. She's a hero in the typical sense, but he is her hero in a personal sense.
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I know what you're saying but I think you are your own worse critic. This was a lovely piece and I have to say that your explanation in authors comments is intriguing background info. I think a possible reason it is misinterpreted could lie in the title itself. Nothing wrong with the title but in our, or specifically, my way of thinking. I naturally surmised that the hero was the man. From beginning to end the hero was the man.
Desiree -
I do understand what you're saying, but if someone misinterprets my poem, then it's not really the successful sharing of my thought.
And I'm afraid in my case, it is a lack of ability to not be too obvious, at least in this particular poem (and I've struggled with other poems on this).
Significant aspects of the poem are such that I want to be only alluded to, but they are also such that it's very difficult to do without overtly skewing the poem in a direction that I don't want it to go.
Actually, I don't have any problems at all with outright explaining my poems (otherwise, many would never be understood
)
Edited on Jun 09, 6:04 p.m. because ''. -
It's possible to get as many different (mis)interpretations as there are readers. I don't think that is because the writer doesn't know how to fully get the true intention across without being too obvious. And I don't think a reader needs to fully understand a write to enjoy it or for it to be good. Like ME. I did read it again a couple of times and have a few ideas that I'll keep to myself just in case I'm wrong. (I hate being wrong) And if what the reader gets out of it is more profound than what is the actual story, then your job is well done. You wouldn't want to tell me what it's about would you? Just so I'll know if I'm right or wrong? Nah didn't think so.
Desiree
Edited on Jun 09, 4:46 p.m. because 'nunya'. -
Thank you very much, Desiree.
"I like you mine. I like you here." was something that just came to me when the poem was still just a notion (the contents of it, anyway), and I really liked the sound of it.
An interesting thing about my more recent poems is that they seem to get misinterpretted, though none quite so much as this one, and understandably so, but it's still a tad irksome.
I still have not quite learned how to fully get the true intention across without being too obvious about it.
Still, as always, I like to see how people do (mis)interpret my stuff. Sometimes, what they get out of it is more profound than what is the actual story in it. -
Yea I did think it was a poem about an abused woman having an affair.
A lovely, gentle caress of the mind and the heart is softly woven into each line. Love the repetitive line......
I like you mine." "I like you here." sort of spoken in a haunting whisper. Also like the end. Tonight I only hold her close and let her fall asleep in my arms.
Like this one very much. I'm quite impressed.
Desiree
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Wow! Riveting piece! It is beautiful how you describe this woman's pain, while still keeping it from the man's perspective.
Awesome write! -
itz a nice poem! i guess...u hv tht talent .....keep up d gud write
luv
ash
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"Abraded" was the word I was going for, though I was not sure what it was, at the time. I wonder why Microsoft Word spellcheck did not pick it up.
The only reason I announced the poem was because I would probably have gotten only two or three readers, if I was lucky, due to the infrequency of my posting and writing.
I know it's lame, but I made the choice to do it, and chose to do it within my "own" (albeit by salvage) topic. Just a small mention. -
7.5/10
I don't care for people asking people or telling people they have a new poem up in discussion, I think that is a bit lame. But, I read it anyways.
Um, in this line: 'She guides my fingers across braded lines,' What is a 'braded'? I think you mean 'braided'.
Other than that, a lovely piece here.
I like the sort of abstraction in voice.
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