teardrops fall like bloody rain
their screams drove me insane
evil pounding in my head
possessed I rise up from my bed
I grab my needle, knife and blade
smile politely at those I’ve slayed
drenched in blood I make my rounds
over the red encrusted grounds
of the paradise I’ve created
with all those dead that I have hated
The last one is to die now, see
I press the knife to their throat and I kill
me
Author notes
I am trying out writing poetry specifically to be a good poem as another step in my quest to be a better writer, and so I would appreciate any ideas for improvement.
A contest entry
- Quest For The Darkest Writer In Town! by LadyDementia.
1050 points, ended January 25, 2008, 26 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Bhoooo!!! by Xx Luna xX.
450 points, ended January 14, 2008, 9 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-write party. by Naridill.
300 points, ended January 13, 2008, 48 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me how I can better this poem and myself as a writer!
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Very cool poem...
I really like the ending, it adds a nice twist
I will be watching your work
see you around
Zarokk666
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ohhh
I like this!!
Well penned, thank you for entering
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Wow this shocked me as to how dark it is...very well penned! Thank you for your wonderful entry and good luck in my contest
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HELL YES!
THIS IF FUCKIN AWESOME!! KUDOS.....LOVE THE LAST LINES
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evildead on crack
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