Water cold, blue and above me
the bubbles enter out through my nostrils
and all i see is you yelling at me
telling me that im wrong
so wrong
so very wrong
leaving me to feel as though my feet are ankle deep in water
that the windows slowly start to leak
and as your screams get louder
the faster their flow
then you take to giving me the guilt trip
why must i fail
and why must i never even try
leaving me to wonder when will these bubbles stop escaping me
when will they stop reaching out of my lungs and rising to the
surface
when will it finally stop and i be left
floating in a pool of your anger
when
then i feel the room as the water tips us sideways
and climbs up to the brim of my knees
kicking my head sideways and throwing me flat against the wall
you caress your hand with your other
and your screams silence as you rub away the pain
but will this water wash away the tears and the bruise that you left me with
i feel the water rise again
as the room is tossed in the other direction
and im pulled down into its un-crystal like grave
pulling me under
as again hands rise to meet flesh upon my cheeks
and your words rise to angered tones
faulting me
blaming me
throwing excuses for your abuse my way
drowing me
taking me underneath these rapid moving waves
leaving me breathless
watching the small bubbles escape
leaving my lungs
which slowly stop moving
beneath the thin skin that covers my broken heart
A contest entry
- Fill Your Lungs With Water And Float To The Bottom Of The Bath by s h a r d s.
380 points, ended January 21, 2007, 22 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Almost Anything Goes by bloodletter68.
300 points, ended March 13, 2008, 132 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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your writes are just a whole other world!
amazing images you give that simply draw every single detail in the eyes of the readers and take them right into the story of your poem..
the ending is just amazing!
~rana~
luv ya!
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Excellent write dear one. I am very proud. You wrote such a life-like poem. It was all inspired by a contest. I am glad you stated that. I love you and wish you the best. Love, MOM
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Wicked
Very unique way to write of abuse, it was an interesting read. The visuals were wonderful, as was the flow.
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:)
thanks glad that you enjoyed it..
how are you dearest PP?
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"beneath the thin skin that covers my broken heart"
That ending line touched me the most. I love a good ending on a poem and you have delivered just that here in your poor heart's testimony of abuse.
You captured the raw emotion of despair quite well here and I can tell posess an empathy that will carry you far in poetry throughout your future writes. Great imagination you have there. I dearly hope that you will continue writing.
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confining words written well
This flows so very well with imagery that expels fantasy, your mind has a definite way to choose words very very well in poetic form,it did have a tone of sadness and pain for sure,,,,blessings of love,light,life....Fir Storm
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Lovely
I have had so many dreams i cannot count them, where i drowned and each time they were serene, almost beautiful and calming, this poem you have created is no exception to my dreams. It is a wonderful write, keep it up amo! you are a very talented one!
^+_+^ me
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thanks but wow..DONT DREAM THAT WAY DAMMIT...scary thoughts lol *shuts eyes counts to ten* ha ha scarieness is gone now YAY...
love ya and thanks for the inspiration
try to have normal non-drowing dreams ok
love ya again
tess..BI
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Déjà Vu
...I have been here before in this dreamlike, surreal existance....
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ohhhhhhhhh
i like how you said all that prettyness YAY
ummm......
i wish you didnt...i was just inspired by contest is all
LOVE YA BOI..opps X
BI
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lol, funny...but what i meant was that i had just read this before
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o silly me YAYNESS FOR NO DEJOVO cant spell everly good
bi
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At least its the least painful way to go....
Blame, anger and depression..another dark write from
the artistic hand of my dear AP Daughter...
Sinking to the depths of the bath
Watching your contorted image
Yelling above me; Eyes of emotional blame
It's peaceful here; Watching the bubbles rise
Nice one Mariah.
Jeffro -
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thanks again inspired by a contest and nothing more lol..but i guess you can say that i did put a lil though into it though...
will return favor daddy j lol
but i gtg for awhile...
PARENTS WAKING UP lol!
luv ya
BI
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