I let you go,
let go of your hand.
I didn't know it would change my life forever.
I'm sorry if I hurt you
I never would've thought
The way we really thought about each other.
I know I broke your heart,
but I hope you could forgive me.
You may be happy with her,
but I'm unhappy without you.
Your girlfriend is the beauty queen,
confident and flirty,
I'm the shy, unpopular girl.
Who would you choose?
Her? or give me a second chance?
I'm sorry if i hurt you,
I never would've thought
The way we really thought of each other.
and i know i broke your heart
but i hope you could forgive me,
one last time.
A contest entry
- January New Members Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended February 15, 2007, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 8 of 8
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Thanks for entering
This is a sad poem on the ending of a relationship. I particularly like the first three lines of the poem.
A sad write with a sad ending.
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
A warm welcome to All Poetry!
Glad you've let our your inner emotions into your poem - sometimes the release helps...even if its in the form of words
Thank you for entering the contest
I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!
abscessed
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Thank you for your entry and welcome to Allpoetry!
This is a sad poem. I feel as though it was disjointed and didn't flow well. Whether this was intentional, or because you are new to writing I'm not sure.
Try not to repeat things like "forgive me" where they sound out of place. Usually just once is enough and will get your point across
Well done and good luck
Faerie
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I've been accused of being the heart breaker so many times, I have actually never been 'dumped' but I 'dumped' many guys, I often feel terrible for hurting them, but I always think it is important to be true to yourself. After all if one can't be true to oneself, than how can they be true to someone else. Anywho, I hope you get that second chance.
Welcome to AllPoetry, its great to have ya! If you ever need a poem critiqued please send me the link and I would be more than happy to stop by and try to give you a helpful comment!
Good luck in the contest,
-shirley- -
thanks for entering
thanks for entering inthe contest, I liked the subject matter of the piece and the wording was good. fits into a freeverse sorta of flow.. over all well done and good luck!
Krystal -
Welcome to AllPoetry.
A very sad write, but at the same time it expresses a persons ability to admit wrongs and try to right them even if circumstanc eis out of their control. There were a few places that the poem was a bit inconsistent, but that may have been intended, as feelings and circumstance like this is a bit chaotic. So I don't know that I would suggest changing it
Best of luck in the contest and, again welcome to the site. -
Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!
Awee, how sad to love someone and not be able to get it returned. This is a very relatable piece that I am sure many viewers will be relating to. Nicely done Thank you very much for taking the time to write for` and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to Allpoetry
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Thanks for entering
A nice poem. It didn't really flow for me. It seemed kind of hesitant and disconnected.
Good luck in the contest and welcome to allpoetry.
God Bless
Tammy
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