Rigidly watch as your good daughter cries
Silently laugh at her reach for the skies
Quietly wait for her perfect response
Loudly chastise for her clear nonchalance
Angrily taunt as she gets no straight A’s
Bitterly scorn her carefree life ways
Yelling and screaming at your no-good rotten daughter
It’s fine, really, who would even want her?
Author notes
#2. kinda. you know, she just wanted to be loved by her own mother.
Not even about me or my mom, just came to me. Kinda reminds me of Emily and Lorelai Gilmore's relationship on Girlmore Girls. Keep that type of theme in mind with this poem.
I'm in the spotlight? So honored! Thanks for all your support, everyone!
A contest entry
- Prewrite Contest! (Show me your stuff) by BloodCrusted.
600 points, ended April 18, 2007, 97 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Everything deserves a chance, right? by ObliviousReality.
600 points, ended April 8, 2007, 33 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Rhymes alone are only bones by JM Kenyon.
900 points, ended May 12, 2007, 44 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anythingggggg!! by OurxBeginning.
300 points, ended May 9, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - All or nothing kids by lust in a grenade.
306 points, ended May 25, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark, And Werid, Come Join!!!! by Cassandra Hunt.
800 points, ended May 21, 2007, 15 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - What does it mean to be ALONE? by WhenWillsCollide.
575 points, ended May 30, 2007, 60 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything by HerbalGoat.
456 points, ended May 24, 2007, 56 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - GO for the Gold~ 2nd Chance ~ Sorry Closing earlier then planned~ by Florida Sunshine.
800 points, ended May 30, 2007, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Turn your Silver into Gold! by Celticpoet.
300 points, ended June 9, 2007, 42 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Top 10 by Hadji Murad.
300 points, ended June 12, 2007, 62 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 114th Contest by Tarja.
450 points, ended December 20, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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Well... congrats on the silver, bronze and honorable mention trophies. However I was not so taken with this. I've never been a fan of the martyr attitude and this is just that... sorry but that's just really not what I'm looking for, thanks anyway though.
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This poem makes me laugh~ I only have one child~ She's sooooo Good~ she won't be bad.... I've tried and tried... but NOOOOOOoooooo~ I told her to write in wet cement~ does she??? NOOOOOooooo, I told her to come play hookie with me just one day... I wanted to go to Busch Gardens... Does she??/ NOOOooooooo She had a test at school.... I wanted a bad rotton kid like me~ or at least thats what my mom told me I'd have~ I got all excited about catching her~ being bad~ I come up with all the fun ways I can teach my kid how to say no to drugs, stealing... etc.... Did I get to do all that???/ NOOOOOOOOoooo... So I'll take her!!! LOL ~ Thanks so much for entering my 2nd chance contest~ and reminding me kids can still be as bad as me~ **** My mom calls me the Evil Twin" ... (/Smiles Cheesily)
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heart wrencher. i can somewhat relate to this because I tend to always feel picked on or unwanted. you flow was superb, and it was just beautiful, though the subject matter was sad.
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wow.
taht was a heart-shaker. (that was a random review >.<)
this piece really flowed nicely, and I love how you began each line with an adverbb- it really SPICED up the poem for all the HUNGRY readers! LOL! I really enjoyed reading this poem and I believe that the rhyme wasnt forced at all.
well done! -
love it!
sounds like me and my mum a couple of years ago.
when i think about it now, maybe she had a point.
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Ouch. I don't know. Some people aren't meant to be parents. They expect perfect little robot replicas of themselves, and don't take into account that "their" kids are individuals.
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hmmmmmmmmmmmm i like it, i didn't stand up to my parents expectations either, i got the boot when i was twelve so i understand. i like it
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Nice write. I've never been the no-good rotten daughter, but sometimes I wish I were
Mostly because when you are a "good" child, you are always expected to behave above potential and beyond reproach. Nice rhyme and rhythm.
s and best wishes always... ~Genie~
Note: Due to high volume of entries, I'll be using a scoring system to judge after the contest closes.
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Wow..hit a little close to home, it's sad and harsh. Wonderful rhyming in this though. Short and to the point, nice work. ~
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Ouch! That's a harsh poem! Nonetheless I love it! In such few lines there was real resentment and hatred. A great wave of emotions just flooded over me when I got into it; anger at the mother for being like that, sadness for the daughter, and for the fact that this actually does happen. No child deserves to be NOT wanted. It makes me feel sick, it really does. Well done on such an emotional and thought provoking write.
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oOo! I love this poem. It reminds me of my relationship with my dad. Great work.
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Whew!
This poem really IS superb! Just the best rhyming and choice of words throughout!
A dramatic and gasping message, too! Fine work, poet! 
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it makes my heart hurt...
i like it...it reminds me of my dad and i... -
Great rhyming Reminded me of an Alanis Morrisette song that I think is titled perfect. Keep up the good work. Jacki
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WoW!! Really good! Keep it up
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Great write
Very good write, very unique. I like it, isnt it weird how you can write about anything that just pops into your head whether it pertains to your life or not! very good write -
Awesome!
This is a wonderful poem, thanks for sharing friend!
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excellent title... quite unique
it's sad that this is too often true. some parents can't be pleased and the damage done is not sometimes felt for years then lasts a lifetime. you've captured this well especially since your comment states that it's not personal
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wow. Perfect Rhyme. I love this piece.
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Freaking awesome. You Go! Great poem!
Guin
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This perfectly describes the mother's side of the mother-daughter relationship! Not shallow at all! and excellent rhyming too! Bravo!
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This poem is sad. It makes me think of my relationships with my parents as well.
I really liked your choice of words - 'chastise, taunt, nonchalance' your choice of words really was able to bring a new meaning to the poem.
It almost seemed as though the poem was from the daughters point of veiw. It was good, really!
A good read -
Interesting piece to be certain, nice flow to it Best of luck in this and all of your endeavors. Hetohke'e
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*cries* this poem is so sad! The rhyming is flawless, and I adore this poem! Not long, but still perfect! Wow, this is amazing, I hope it one day gets a gold!
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Incredible write, and i must say i loved the cleverness behind rhyming response and nonchalance, very nicely done, quite clever. Good imagery, and the rhyming scheme is in fact truly flawless.
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this was a memory
it makes me smile realy
cause
you know when i was young you either did bad or good
now in todays world your on levels at school
and that is ok to
but i guess there are two ways of looking at this poem
and ones not so funny for the abused child
so you did great on this poem
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This describeds the way too typical mother daughter relationship. The rhyme and flow,are, as you say, flawless, and the subject is well spoken and true to life. Good job!
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All too true of more than enough relationships. This is a total antithesis of my relationship with my mom, so I have a hard time relating, but I have friends for whom this was the way it was.
Rhythm was pretty good but for the next to the last line. Love the rhyming; great use of unusual words. Overall, great read.
Thank you for sharing.
rous -
she perfers to be called 'Rory'
It kind of made me laugh in the beginning, but then I saw it was supposed to be a sad poem. T_T sorry...
Good write, a bit short, and the rhyming was okay.
~S~
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Well it certainly gave me a laugh. (Don`t know if it was supposed to do that) but it worked fine.
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Hi! Ok well I'm the first judge. I see you met the other. Ah yes, I liked this! Very interesting. Honest in all respect with how it is today. Thank you for entering, and good luck!
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I'm the other judge! Which means, the actual decider of the contest can't view your poem. It's interesting. I liked it. Shows a lot of what happens with parent(s) and their children these days. Honest. Good luck, and thank you for entering*But do remember, I don't know how much good it'll do because she can't view it*
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it's about me and my mom XDXD good stuff.
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i thought this poem had some very nice ebb and flow - it rhymed and worded seamlessly - nice work
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... This is a good poem, but I'm confused. You said it's about the mother-daughter relationship on Gilmore Girls. I understand that they don't have a good relationship, but there was no abuse involved. Anyway, the poem is really good.
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I said it reminds me of their relationship, it's not about them. It's just something that came into my head, that's how I write.
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