Call it inevitable death or maybe the blind spot...
But that is only if you dare
When the flies buzz and corpses just rot…
The black widow, into your soul will stare
Like a vague symphony that's suddenly out of tune
She comes in silence
Call it the opening
Or the new beginning if you please
Just keep away and don’t turn back
Just look away and don’t ever go back
I’ve come to notice that time does it all…
Teaching
Healing
Forgetting…
A contest entry
- options contest #2 by gothchyld.
600 points, ended March 12, 2007, 15 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 13 of 13
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It's difficult to judge, considering that I have commented almost twice in your piece, and I know who you are despite fair judging requirements.
Call it a beautiful masterpiece, almost a symphony, composed out of society's scatters. -
beautiful.
i love this poem. you did such a good job i love the end. it flows so wounderfuly. im speechless. nice job.
♥
sam
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thank you
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what do you say to a genius, when all his efforts have been put into a couple of lines that sound so beautiful, like a bouquet arranged so it would wither sometime close to never?!
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I LOVE THIS POEM.
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thank you
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Darling,
This write about death and the passage of time was fabulous! You are right, it does get a little fuzzier and less painful in time. Although we open those wounds every once in a while---they are not ever present such as when our loved ones died.
Excellent!!
Sincerely,
Claudia Delacourt -
The last stanza was very deep. This piece is like a piece of several mini poems, all wrapped into a collection of a bigger theme's umbrella. Perhaps it is the stagnation of society and frustration that makes things so stotic. And having just wrote a poem with musical notations, the line: like a vague symphony that's suddenly out of tune' definitely seems the most striking.
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Darling,
Excellent write!! Thought provoking and intriguing. As the undead I have no new beginnings. LoL. Yet you gave me hope.
Sincerely,
Claudia Delacourt
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ive noticed differently ..
time teachs?! heals?! i dnt think so, it just makes the memories more vague as time goes by .. u might end up forgettin.. but it all remains in ur soul, in the residue of ur mind .. and at some specific time it will all show again ..
time DOES it all .. the ups and downs ..
i like the structure of the piece and how it flows..
yet i didnt like the endin.. not because i see it differently but because it cuts the trip off .. it doesnt flow with the rest .. but thats just me ..
me..
xxx
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"When the flies buzz and corpses just rot…"
i duno why, but this line did stuff to me
serge.. seriously wow!
(and i gota give credit for the background! lol it's really amazing!)
wut a mind..!
~rana~
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"I’ve come to notice that time does it all…
Teaching
Healing
Forgetting…"
does it??
I don't know really...I guess in the end..only "Time" will show...right?
Amazin amazin brain you have got...
You fascinate me...
~Hana~
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