Yesterday I saw your pencil, your words flow and fly
like you have filled it with stars and with an indigo sky.
I found myself eye to eye with your heart, a trembling butterfly...
Are you a poet?... I tried to ask, my manner slow...
Yes, I am a poet but that is something you already know...
Drop me a line, something fresh and new...
Do you want something abstract or something true?
Just do it, please...
Don't blame the springtime for the flower which grows
don't blame the butterfly wherever it goes,
Don’t blame the shadow because of Sun’s desire
and the cold of ice dancing in the middle of fire,
Don't blame the lovers for always yearning to unite and move forth
their wishes lead them to be together...
Oh? But this time you missed the rhyme…
Don’t blame the poet…
Author notes
Picture Lady in the window by SouthernBel
In a list
A contest entry
- Unrecognized prewritten rhyme by piccola.
300 points, ended May 10, 2008, 18 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - BATTLE OF THE GOLDS 4 by Swan song.
2500 points, ended October 25, 2008, 36 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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heck no don't blame the poet!!!! Very very good!
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words fit the picture beautifully
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Sigh... this poem was absolutly beautiful. I love the picture and the wording you used in this was stunning. Great job on this.
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Oh my sweet sister,
You have done this lady in the window a great justice in painting her beauty more profound with your words. She is quite the enchanting sight to behold indeed. You poem contains much beauty and a deeper meaning of what a true poem and poet are. I quite enjoyed this piece and think it's elegance shines brightly.
Blessings
Bel -
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Thank you Bel, I am glad that you realy like it. As I said...don't blame the poet... for inspiration...
~Sonja~
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Sonja, I started off with a frown on my face, thinking that the simple rhyming-words were trite. Then at the end you said:
"Oh? But this time you missed the rhyme…
Don’t blame the poet…"
and I got the point. Good luck in the contest.
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Well Mairi, each poem is written with some reason and each has its own meaning. I am glad you got it.
~Sonja~
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I love this poem
This is a really beautiful poem. Unlike any I have read before. I love the picture you put up too. It's just gorgeous and fits the poem so well. I am glad I clicked on this. Love it. heh I am really new, so I am trying to find my way around. Thanks for sharing your work. Loved it!
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Thank you EnvisageRed for your precios comment. I like ita as yo like my poem.
~Sonja~
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This poem was very touching. Original and creaitve The flow and imagery was very well done. I suggest the use of puncuation for easier reading.
Otherwise, this was good.
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Thank you Lady Gemini for your kind comment and suggestion. It is without some pnctuations by the reason
~Sonja~
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Lovely images in your poem and a great title too. Love the idea of the heart as a trembling butterfly. Beautiful and totally original piece of work. Nice picture to compliment it too.
Ann
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Thank you Ann for comment and applause. I have many ideas of this kind, I am just waiting to put all them together - right time and right place.
~Sonja~
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Outstanding
This is a wonderful poem, I liked everything about it, the language, the subtle humour, the imagery, everything worked very well. It is easy to forget that you are writing in a foreign language which makes your poetry even more remarkable. This is a great poem, original and unexpected. Best of luck in the competition.
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This is the best comment what poet can give to the other poet. Thank you.
~Sonja~ -
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DEAR SONJA
You are always sincerely welcome, I always enjoy reading your poems.
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A beautiful write and presentation. Lovely imagery, flow, rhyme and tone. Very nice simile. Vivid descriptives. Excellent word choice. Nice simile. I like the call and response of the piece. Well crafted and a much enjoyed read. Shelley
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Dear Shelley, your comment are always like a balm for my poetic hart. Thank you.
~Sonja~
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wonderful picture
! wonderful poem !i really enjoyed reading it!the structure and the word-combinations you used are so intriguing!well done and good luck in the contest!
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Thank you MissStranger for your and for good wishes. I am glad that you like this poem so much. Btw, I like what you say on yor site what are you doing when you are not writing...pretty tough job lol
~Sonja~
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A very nice poem, full of deep truths and to it I speak that;
missed the rhyme
oft when the heart speaks of adoration it has not time for rhyme
for rhyme is for those who have the time to indulge of it
love will have none of that
desire even less
lust, not a tinker's smidgen
prose bespeaks truest of the heart
rhyme is for those whom have the time
the lonely of heart
JD
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If I understood with my blushingly language knowledge you lost yor rhyme too? lol I am glad that you like my poetic challenge.
~Sonja~
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BEAUTILFULLY JOINED TOGETHER AS ONE
Your words paint us a most beautiful picture, Very good indeed, refreshing and bright.
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Thank you Kevin.
~Sonja~
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