The cake is burnt into a blackening crisp;
Tresses entangled in hair spray net.
I am a mess, no chance of getting first kissed.
The burnt casserole creating a hazy mist;
While kitty, and puppy jump, dance and fret.
I am an awful mess, no chance of getting first kissed.
Rushed up the stairs, put make up, got dressed!
Knocked the vase, carpet damp and wet.
I am a klutzy mess, no chance of getting first kissed.
Dress now ruined, in shambles; 'what's this?'
A speck of mud? A spill? Need to change, another set!
I am a klutzy mess, no chance of getting first kissed.
Phone rings. ID caught. The man I met.
Rushed and answered, “Can't come? Did you forget?”
Or is it because I am a mess, and such a pest.
Say it, tell me, there is (why?) no chance of getting first kissed.
Author notes
First Kiss, not my story...
A contest entry
- January New Members Contest by AP Greeters.
600 points, ended February 15, 2007, 120 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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Welcome to AllPoetry
This is an interesting poem and some of the scenes you sculpted can seem quite funny to an outsider.
The repetition of the last line however took away from the poem instead of enhancing it. Good fluid flow and a good topic choice.
Let the ink flow and your fingers dance
Rosemary -
Welcome to All Poetry!
This had a pinch of humour in it and made me chuckle in parts. Its a good write, although you should be a bit careful with your grammar.
Thank you for entering the contest
I wish you luck and welcome you to All Poetry!
abscessed
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I enjoyed reading this poetic story. I love how you made this humorous... Well done!
Keep it up!
I wish you lots of luck in the contest.
Annie
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Thank you for your entry and welcome to Allpoetry!
This is really sad. To think that people go to such amazing lengths for their first amazingly romantic moment, and then they are treated like this.
I think that the repetitive use of "no chance of first kiss" should be changed, just as it doesn't seem to suit the write
Thanks for entering and welcome to the site
Faerie
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I found this humorous even though I am sure some young lady had to endure a humiliating night like this one.
Good luck in the contest, and welcome to AllPoetry. If you ever need a comment on a future write, please feel free to send me the link, and I will stop by, read it, and try to give you a helpful comment!
-shirley- -
thanks and welcome
welcome to the site and thank you for entering in the contest... I liked this, it is an interesting story..I caught a couple of places in there that your "I" seems to have disapeared..lol... but it's all good..
good luck to you in the contest!
Krystal -
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Lol... thank to all about your comments on the poem, and please... this is not my story, but well i guess in general could be alls story.. i am in this mood however when preparing for a first date with someone, you know perfection mode.. smell nice, look nice, feel nice.. next thing you know the guy am wid really doesnt give a damn! MEN
I have placed the missing 'I' s in the final one. Other wise I'd have to repeat them else where and I prefer not to do so. I want people to read and get the emotions across, and thankfully it did take place.
For anyone who reads this poem and longs for first kiss, dont fret! with the right person it feels perfect!
Now ill soak myself in Vic.Secret. Bath Foam to prepare myself for a date later lol! old habits die hard!
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Welcome to AllPoetry.
Sigh, I think we can all relate to the stress surrounding an anticipated date and the hope of getting the first kiss. We all have experienced that twinge of dissappointement sometime or another as well. I like the repeat line throughout the piece, it sets a tone and helps maintain it through out the poem.
Keep writing and best of luck in the contest.
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Thanks for the entry and welcome to the site!
Awee… This poem makes me feel sad that you didn’t get that kiss. But I am sure you will if you haven’t already. Nice work Thank you very much for taking the time to write for` and enter our contest. Best wishes and welcome to Allpoetry
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Thanks for entering
Interesting first kiss story, especially since it seems she never got that first kiss. Good flow and the franticness of it was definitely clear.
Good luck and welcome to allpoetry.
God Bless
Tammy
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