desperation

In the darkness there is a long lasting memory,
That know one can ever see.
As the sadness thickness and the war begins.
A war of my own that hides deep within.
If people only knew the anguish that lay inside of me,
And the hatred that laid bestowed on me.
It flows through my veins like liquid fire,
burning through my bones and turning them into ash.
The crumble like saw dust and  disappear within.
If i could run away from all of the pain,
and all the despair laid upon me.
I would be happy and content and
no longer suffer.
No longer suffer from the pain that they caused
And the pain within.
Why did they hate me so much?
Why did they feel a need to torture me and not feel guilt?
Was it because i was a bastard child that they did want or need?
Was it because i gave them a long last memory of themselves,
or others they were ashamed of?
Just why did they put me through so much misery
that i didn't need or deserve.
Did i cause them to do such a selfish act that
they felt better about themselves.
Just what did I do to deserve all this hatred that wont go away.
Just answer me this one question and my heart will finally be at peace.