January 5, 2007
Forty years ago the men's room
At Columbia U's Butler Library
Was a popular gay watering hole.
Once upon a time I go there
For purposes of innocent urination;
A guy asks me "Do you want a blow job?"
"No, thank you" I politely reply.
"Do you want a blow job?" he repeats.
"No, thank you" I politely repeat.
"Do you want a blow job?" he asks for the third time.
"No, thank you" say I yet again in the same tone.
So he jerks off in the urinal.
I wish to thank Edna Sweetlove for inspiring me to record this anecdote for the edification of my future biographer.
In a list
A contest entry
- CONTEST: Blowing by Edna Sweetlove.
321 points, ended January 18, 2008, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think about oral sex.
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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You have attracted comments from some fairly "interesting" people, I see. I think that your poem is excellent, and well worth recording here. Personally, I would have feigned deafness, and replied "twenty-five past three" to his query. I am glad that you maintained proper decorum. Toujours la politesse, as they say.
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I think you should feel flattered at the guy's persistence. He must have had a good look-see over the porcelain inter-urinary divider and liked the look of your knobby.
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I find it amusing that so many of your readers are upset by this and that several are complaining that this isn't poetry. It's just as much poetry as any other piece of free verse.
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haha well quite the interesting poem i must say you did a pretty good job at making me laugh lol good job
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well... that was pretty nasty... i do beleive that poetry should be for the purposes of expression wether or not you are doing it in free verse or what not... but this was a little much. the whole homosexual blowjob thing was nasty. if a guy asked me if i wanted a blowjob you better bet your ass that i would have his head on a pike for the world to see. hell, i would have killed him just because it would be fun, but since he is gay it gave me another reason to so i would.are you a homo? what's up with this poem man? wtf? seriously. that was pointless and disgusting. I could easily understand it if it was between a man and woman... but gays just piss me off... though other than that it was pretty funny PS give me your money.
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Ha. This made me laugh. Props on the write.
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Wow
I love your mind. Keep them coming my friend and send my love to Rory. Blessed be. -
My goodness! You are rather shocking a whole lot of the time! lol But your poems are always interesting to read because we never know what you might say. And usually you put a funny spin on it too. I thought it was funny and a good job as usaul. 
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Alright, i am sorry if i sound rude, but I honestly don't think that this piece is necessary. I'm not sure what had you write this.. but um, its very different..
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As you see from the other comments, some people like this piece. It doesn't appeal to everyone, but that's OK. Although you don't like this one, you might like most of my other poems. Or how about G-rated "Haiku Composed by a Doggy", written by my canine brother with my English translation.
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Thank you for giving me a glimpse of life I would never see for myself. I think your polite response was probably very uncharacteristic for the times. He's lucky you didn't punch him. I continually learn new things on this site. Thanks for adding to my education.
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What I think about oral sex...more than anything, I like eating a good clean pussy...yum.
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While xredxtearsx may not have found it "poetry" I myself found it incredibly amusing and I have to say that while it isn't morbid and depressing it is still poetry. Thankyou for a chuckle worthy write.
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Wow man that is hilarious, I'm not sure exactly what i'd do under such circumstances, was he good looking? haha NO! just joking..i'd just be astonished really
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He wasn't ugly, but we hadn't been properly introduced. A nice boy doesn't permit himself to be picked up by a stranger in a men's room. Bad for ones reputation.
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Haha you are so comical, keep on keeping on mate!
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HAHAHA narration or story, i dont give a damn. i think id loose it if some random person asked me if i wanted a blow job no matter the place. you should have taken it though. id think this more of a funny little story more then a poem, but to each his or her own. thank you for sharing though.
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Thanks for your comment.
If I had taken the blow job it would not have made a good poem.
As for whether or not it is a poem, I intentionally wrote it in pentameter blank verse except for lines 11 and 12 which are longer.
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so whats the point of thiasstroy i dont get it
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I found this rather entertaining, and got a good chuckle from it. Thanks for causing that!
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you are a disgrace to poetry... i am outraged that you even call yourself a poet you are a dirty pervert and you have no place here... yes poetry can involve sex but tastefully not like this not crude and rude becuase that is not what it should be... it should be kind and wonderful...
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Oh please. Get off your high horse and read some real poetry some time.
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Dear razorbladexkisses,
Razor blade kisses sounds very kinky to me. Very S&M. And your photo looks most unwholesome. I just took a peek at your page. What's past is past, but today you are clearly kinkier than I am. Why did you click on an adult poem called Urinal if you want "tastefully"? You are actually calling yourself a pervert by projecting your own problems onto my image.
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Well since no one has addressed your question “What do you think about oral sex?” I guess it’s left to me. Personally I totally enjoy the act of oral, I love the taste of a woman and the way it makes them feel. I love it when they moan and pushes my head deeper into them I get a rush at the thought that what I am doing to them will soon make them reach an orgasm. Oh and of course I love receiving oral to me it is the embodiment of trust on both parties her that I am clean and I that she isn’t going to bite it off
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Haha... Oh wow. Legend, utter legend, my friend.
Now, my only question is, why the hell did we want to suck you off so bad?
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Dear Nex,
I don't know why he was so persistent. I was never well hung, never considered physically attractive. But note that this happened long ago, before it was considered OK to be gay. And note that I was polite to him. Straight men then would normally react with great hostility; since I didn't act hostile, he may have thought I was just playing hard to get. -
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I respect your honesty. You're right that it wouldn't be the same if you accepted the offer. I love that no matter sexual orientation, you accept others for who they are and a secure man - gay or straight- should be honored to even have a stranger flirt with them in the urinal.
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Charming... Though I would not know such sensations as I go to the lavatory being as I am a lady but if I ever decide to sneak a peak, I'll know what to expect.
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lmao another funny piece you have written here a bit crude but does the trick well done making me smile
Love and light,
Blaze -
haha
i thought this was hilarious, sorry if it wasnt meant to be. to be honest i did NOT find this to be perverted or disgusting, perhaps if you replied yes and you told us a bout a flurry of sex over the next 2 hours. there was no perverted language, just words, i mean thats what its called.
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ahuh.. just wondering.. were is the poetry in this?? this.. well.. this isnt right.. its acctly kind of pervertive.
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Dear xredxtearsx,
This work was clearly labeled adult and named Urinal. Some people here at Allpoetry find this sort of thing amusing. Since this isn't your cup of tea, you should have refrained from reading it. Would you walk into an porn emporium and complain because you see indecent stuff there? You should simply stay out of such places. -
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Well said mate! It's damn hilarious to boot!!
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Trust Edna to have something to do this with. LOL Urinals I hear are interesting places - from what men say. Just via the grapevine, of course. Mind you some of us women have used the men's washroom in times of need when no men are there. Good thing we have never been propositioned this way there.
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