So tired
Of talking to no one
not having a girlfriend
Having nothing but time
And money
But nothing to do
I'm just tired...
Of people fearing me
Staying away from me
For no reason
Other than
I am me.
I don't know why
I keep going
I'm not going anywhere
I have no where to run
Hell, I have no where to walk
I have nothing to do
Unless I'm working
On my days off
Time in which most people would have "fun"
I sparcely know the meaning of this wonderment
I'm so tired
Of self destruction
Too bad no matter what I do
Unless I'm with a girlfriend
I'm so destructive to myself
But I'm getting better at being alone
Going to work, playing in the traffic
Mocking it as I do, I guess I still have my fun
But i'm not without my physical pain
Since people gladly run me down
But
That's why i need a better half
She keeps me sane
I'm not so prone to stupidity
When I worry about her reaction
I'm so tired
Of being so tired of my life
Of being tired of being alone
Of being so tired of being so tired
Author notes
It may be some rambling
But shows so much of me
Shows that I might be human
In a list
A contest entry
- Wear your heart on your sleeve!!! ♥ by Weetzie bat.
550 points, ended April 26, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Out of control by Andu.
450 points, ended June 13, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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This appears to me exactly what I didn't want. I love dark writes but I hate the poor poor pitiful me ones.
**Ktulu Blackwolfe** -
Very well written and honest self exploration that I can very much relate to.
Two things come to mind that I must comment on. Self-destruction: It is something that is hard to get over and may stay with you throughout life, it wears you down, over and over again, but what is important is to realise, the description of this phenomenon is evident in that it is SELF destruction and sometimes we do not see ourselves very clearly.
Secondly:
"I'm just tired...
Of people fearing me
Staying away from me
For no reason
Other than
I am me."
I can very much relate to this, as it always happened to me and to an extent it still does. My solution, as strange (though honest) as this sounds? I got tired of fighting it. I embraced it. I accepted it. It became a part of who I am. It was enevitable, it wasn't necessarily that others weren't seeing the real me, it was just an aspect of me that put others on edge. To an extent, people SHOULD fear me, I find it keeps people at arms length.
But I digress, sorry for the long comment, but what you have written here sparked a lot of things that as I say, I can relate to.
Great write.
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Yes, very true... there are aspects in our own life that we don't like and that are hard to live with, and unfortunatley we cannot seem to control them, and the whole situation becomes ever frustrating I can relate to that... the only thing we can do, is believe that someday this will change, and the bad spell will be over.
Thanks for sharing this personal thought, a great poem... though, unfortunately, it exceeds the 30 line rule, and I cannot count it as a valid entry in my contest, or it will be unfair to those people who followed the rules. I'm sorry
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no problem, i've shortened it by over 200 lines and then realized that i needed some details back, so i'm not mad at all
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Fantastic...
Line 1 "Its days" ~ "It is days" ...
Apart from that, it's a really good poem... Definetely is worth being in the depression/dark/life sections... etc...
I know how you feel... and you've probably been told that before, but yeah.
~Take care
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I've heard this all before.. and it is all too familiar. You know that I do not approve of you not eating or sleeping.. but you are not going to change unless you want to. I'm sorry you have sunk back into this position. I just hope that you will pull through as you always do. And the writing itself was good.. a little rambling like you said.. but it really said everything you must be thinking. Good job like always
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Wonderful
I know exactly what you're feeling.
Sometimes you just want to do anything, no matter how crazy, just to pass the time so you're not thinking of how terrible your life is.
You can get so sick and tired of being sick and tired.
I haven't had a boyfriend in 3 or 4 years, and its not because I'm hidiously ugly, its just because I know I'm not emotionally ready, and I think guys see me as a challenge, almost like they're scared of me. So I know the feeling of thinking everyone's scared of you.
If you ever need to talk, I'm here, as always.
Here's my sn (it's AIM, I don't know if you have it, but I'll give it to you anyway) its loveisntsosimple
Haha how cliche huh?
Great write, your emotions are very transparent in this one
♥ Lacey
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since i got my new laptop, it refuses (for what ever reason, i can't figure out why) to install AIM but it installed MSN messanger just fine. if you have that i'm ostrasized@hotmail.com
now i'm only on(regularly) at 10-11 pm Central Time.
O, after i wrote this I played in traffic. I'm getting a bit too good at jumping over cars on rollerblades.
But I know i'm ready for a girlfriend. I hate being single.
People tell me daily that I'm a freak, that I scare them, and its not how i look either, maybe my booming deep voice. But I'd think that, my voice would attract girls not scare them.
In the halls of my highschool, people clear the way for me, gawk and stare and hope i don't snap.
I'm sorry about doubting you like this but I don't think you know what its like to be feared like i am.
If I don't have anymore messages I'm going to go play in traffic again. See ya.
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you ARE hum,an. don't try and fool yourself, you're more human than you think. take it easy hun.
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lol, hum,an.
But other than sitting at home infront of my computer, i never take it easy. Sorry.
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