Follow me into a
room lit by candlelight.
Where shadows dance
against the plain gray walls.
So silent it is,
that you can't even hear,
Your own thoughts
through your buzzing mind.
Out through a window
watch children play
one you recognize as someone
once closer than a friend.
The other you used
to know, then he changed
So much that now,
You can't recognize yourself.
Your life, I've said before,
Is one of change so great
that until unchangeable,
you can't visualize it.
As you look through the glass,
You don't know how much time
has passed. Thoughts from
the heart take place over voices.
Sitting all alone no one ever
tells you if life may be
a lie of the stars
while looking through the glass...
at yourself.
A contest entry
- Metaphorical mess by InfiniteCaitlin.
600 points, ended February 3, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - "I Never Win Contest!" by kennybaby05.
380 points, ended January 23, 2007, 16 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Enter Your Best Prewrite by xxRainbowDawnxx.
300 points, ended February 25, 2007, 105 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Contest to Promote my Commenting ANYTHING GOES!! by Timeless Wisdom.
800 points, ended August 6, 2007, 261 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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Thank you for your entry in my contest and best of luck with this great entry
~Raymond~ -
This poem reminds of that song by ... stonesour? I don't remember but the one that goes "im looking at you through the glass, don't know how much time has passed. Oh god it feels like forever, but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head." yeah. I couldn't look at this as something new because it reminded me so much of the song, sorry.
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You have the ability to draw one in and make them see your words. A strong, powerful poem that whispers instructions that one needs to follow. I did and am glad! Thank you for taking me on this journey. It was a pleasure!
Good luck in the contest. Well done dear poet!
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life is full of messes. Nice write. thank you for entering my contest.
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This is a great write!!! Nicely done and it fits the contest pretty well, I liked the way you worded things, very well done!!! great job and keep u the good work!!! good luck in the contest!
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Wow, this is really great. I loved the ending.
Good write! -
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Thanks!!
I appreciate the comment, Do you have an Idea for a title?
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Silent Shadow of Stars?
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Great poem...it talks about so many different things though, like so many themes that it confuses me...first shadows, then glass...not that it's bad, but it just makes it harder to think of a title that relate to both...I can't think of one...maybe...Shadows in the Glass?
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Self Reflections or Mirror of Broken Shadows
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mom said either looking glass or ever changing or just changes she gave you the highest score
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that is a really good poem i think you could call it silent shadows or dancing shadows,
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As you look through the glass,
You don't know how much time
has passed.
That sounds like a line from this song by shinedown called through the glass... "I see you looking through the glass, don't know how much time has passed" It's great
. to me, I'd probably call this "The Other Side"
I love this. Let me know what you title it, please!
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fantacy lines
it is like a dream so I suggest "dream shadows"'
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a good poem, a good flow and rhythm here. mmm a title. i usually take something from the poem to use as a title, looking here 'a lie of the stars' stands out to me for a possible title. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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i think this is a good, but for the life of me i can't think of a title, i hope one comes to you soon, keep it flowing
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