My eyes slam shut
because
sparse words are no
victor
when you spell
"your beautiful"
gramatically correct.
Perpetuating motion
between the lost and
the open.
A quantum leap
in place
is needed for
his comprehension.
'Cause I curb reality
until I deny it-
by keeping quiet.
My softest words
are the sharpest,
cutting clean
between the shit
I think and
what I mean.
And doubt is a demon
of my thoughts, keeping
my mind open and my
tounge caught--
locking up
Pandora's Box.
And Silence is golden like the Holocaust,
In keeping secrets, I have lost.
Please tell me what you think
Comments
-
whos rubbing off on who?
-
i read this cuz i respect nick and i know you mean a lot to him. i liked the enjambment i havent seen that kind of stanza stuff in a long time. nick knows nothing about grammar so dont hold it against him. i can see some of him in your last two little stanzas. he rubbed off
p.s. go pandas!
-
Hmmm, well, in the first stanza you talk about spelling "your beautiful" grammatically correct, I like the irony how it's not correct in the poem--subtle. I liked the interspersed rhyme here and there, it kept the poem fresh, although I'm just personally not a fan of holocaust references, but a golden holocaust i might go for. Good poem.
-
-
It is correct. That's the whole point. There's a certain amount of it being detached because whoever is saying it is saying it in an ownership way as in "your beautiful" not as it is apart of them with a "you're".
No irony.
-
Adding your comment:
