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Life As We See It: Wind Poem

 

 

 

 

 

Trading Stories with the Wind




It's in the silence.
The way the wind whispers
of oleander
in summer heat,
jasmine that clings
oh, so gently
to a wayward
tendril of air--

how it speaks, low toned
as to not wake
the curled cat
heavy on my legs.
Of bare footed children,
hands fisted
in the cotton garments
of busy mothers;
tells the secrets
of two lovers, silhouetted
in their forbidden,
a balcony
and the whole of Paris
behind them as silk screen.
How he brought lilies
to sit on her window ledge,
how they danced
in her hands.

I know of the redwood trees
as they creak,
giants slumbering in a forest
that still holds
a whiff of mystery;
the broomtail stallion
and the race for supremacy,
how he lost only
for the strong scent
of female
deep in his nostrils.
A lullaby crooned
next to a hand-me-down crib,
crinkle of yesterday's newspaper
as it laps against the steps
of an old brownstone,
beaded sweat dripped down
carnival dancers
somewhere south, farther
south where details are painted
in even more brazen pictures
than the breeze cares
to relate, shying suddenly

and it tangles in my hair
grabs up the story
of a woman bundled in
wistful remembrance

swifts away to carry its journey
to yet another lonely woman,
eyes locked on the night

waiting to learn of its travels.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author notes

#5 (nature) & #10 (my own)

In a list

A contest entry

Well?

    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • poet2angels gold member
    April 15

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    I found it!!!!!!! I have been searching for this poem to add to my list of my favorite poems of yours

    oh I love this one!!!! YAY!!!


    Lynda


  • Night Hope gold member
    January 5, 2008

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    "How he brought lilies
    to sit on her window ledge,
    how they danced
    in her hands."

    Sighhh...Such a loving, poignant, profound penning this is, my Friend. With me, it was tea roses. He planted them for me wherever we lived. I planted gladiolus for him. Hauntingly beautiful, Meli. Thank you for your thoughtful words on my piece, Sweetie, but no one can outdo the magnificence of this wonderful poem.


  • flowerystone0
    January 5, 2008
    Edit | Reply
    To the wind...beautiful poetry here.


  • Fug-azi
    January 3, 2008

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    I came here via Lynda's contest honouring this poem and poet and I have to add my applause to this most beautiful piece.


  • Cupcrazy gold member
    January 3, 2008

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    A beautiful piece filled with yearning and memory that wafts around the forgotten places of your soul. Loved it. Hugs, Bunny


  • Nicolette gold member
    January 3, 2008

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    I saw this poem in Lynda's contest and so happy that she's featuring your poetry. I love the wind, the rain, storms...and I love what I've found in this poem and where this wind carried me. The closing lines are amazing and it made this poem sit in my eyes, where it will linger. Beautiful poetry.

    ~ Nicolette


  • Blkwidow77 silver member
    January 15, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    The problem is, when I can finally pull myself together enough to manage a review, I can't find the poems I really loved out of someone's collection, to comment on first.

    This isn't one of my favorite's of your recent work, but one I really liked. I'm afraid to get lost rereading your work trying to find them, and then wear myself out before I ever comment. So I will start with this one and try another day.

    After all, I did really enjoy this one, I know it was one of them anyhow.

    There were several good points in this piece. The beginning was sort of weak but you picked up and left strong. Your ending was nice. It really hit home, especially for me. Left a remaining thought, that makes poetry, poetry. These were some of your best lines, in my opinion:

    ~~How he brought lilies
    to sit on her window ledge,
    how they danced
    in her hands.~~


    Some how, it's an image but a little secret. Like we're peeping in on them. And the double of that, really makes it strong.

    The only thing I'd really call you on in this one, is 'hands fisted', because I've read your work long enough, to know you've used that line one too many times. And I'd be remiss not to say something. This is nice work though.


  • Cynthia Gaines gold member
    January 13, 2007

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    WOW!

    Such a beautifully flowing and colorful piece should be seen by all - I'd love to see your work published in your book - and look forward to reading more of your poems. I'm really glad I stopped by today, it's like going home to visit the family after a long absence!! Great work!!!


    • Annalise
      January 13, 2007
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      Aw. Thank you. I sure do appreciate your encouragement.

      A rose for a rose.


  • -Ink Artist-
    January 10, 2007
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    Stunning!!

    I'm speechless...

    ~Lori


  • PerfectImperfection
    January 9, 2007
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    Beautiful! What more can I say? Made me think of the fat cat in my lap as I type, and the happy screams that are dancing through my house. We have snow here tonight - our first of the season, this was an especially enjoyable read for the day! Thank you so much for entering and best wishes!


  • Ariosto II. gold member
    January 7, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this is a lovely poem.
    It carries lightly as a breeze from top to bottom.
    Some grand images
    beautiful lines

    good luck!


  • Memoirs of a Girl
    January 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply

    great

    I love it. And the backround helps display the image of the poem. It's so calming a relaxing. I just close my eyes and pretend someone is saying it to me and it makes me feel calm and good. It tells so many stories all in just one poem, but they all fit nicely. Great write.


  • JazzALTernative silver member
    January 6, 2007

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    Yeah - and this travels to lonely men, children, dogs, trees - it speaks of universal mother hood and forcefulness of man which succombs to her. The romance is unbelievable as you show it. The reality sets in with newspapers and old cribs. It goes from a whispy intro (do you need the word "oh" in there, with all due respect?) to mundane - almost soccer mommish; then it takes off as if to free itself from the present.


    • Annalise
      January 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.

      I'll have to give this another go-over, check out the 'oh' and see if I really do need it.


  • Man of Harlech silver member
    January 6, 2007

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    How could this not win?

    This is what I thought poetry was for, and how it should be written. How could this not win this contest? Beautiful mood and images. It is unfair to catagorize this as simply a nature poem. This is about love, society, spirituality and all of those good things.


  • -ButterflyCuts-
    January 6, 2007

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    Right!! I am horribly behind in comments for your poems.

    Ok, one thing I didn't like so much about this poem was that it confused me a little. It's fucking freezing and I'm freezing right now because the window is open. But this had such a soft gentle tone, it wasn't harsh enough to remind me of winter- or at least not an external winter- perhaps an internal winter of fires and duvets and disney films- but it seemed to focus on nature. Also, cotton garments? summer or at least spring. So it maybe is a summer poem, but I'm too cold to apreciate it

    I liked this, but not as much as your others. It was very.. nice. It didn't make you cringe whilst reading it, and in a sado kinda way, I guess I like that. But again, it was gentle and pleasant to read so I did enjoy it




    and it tangles in my hair
    grabs up the story



    I loved that one muchly. I don't like the font.. picky little twit int i

    Nice piece.. hoe you win, you shuold do.

    (one applause- for same reason as you_)


    • Annalise
      January 6, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Ah. Poor Jess.

      Uhm... I hate to be the one to be break this to ya, but it's not winter everywhere. Crazy girl. Haven't you sat in the open air and caught a hint of a fragrance from somewhere else?

      And na-na, it's warm here. It has been warm all winter (save one freezing ass cold day). One cold day since the trees have started their slumber. So, you are freezing, I'm still wearing summery clothing.

      I like this font better than I do any others this site has to offer. Most of the others cram the letters together. I don't like that.

      Can't write mean poems all the time. Gotta come out of my comfort zone and explore the rest of the world.



      • -ButterflyCuts-
        January 6, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        Haha- you know that is a very good point!! I told you I was too fucking cold to appreciate this!!

        Yea. . but I lke your meany ones nana na nana


  • Blkwidow77 silver member
    January 6, 2007
    Edit | Reply
    .


  • dustookie2
    January 6, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i like the background have this image of a bottle of good wine a glass and talking it out with the wind as it blows gentle breezes around my face. You have presented some very nice imagery full of expressive description and a pleasure to read thank you .


  • Spfc
    January 5, 2007

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    If I may stick my neck out slightly: I think this is a return to form. I'm not sure I liked the poem-a-day thing for December; this reads like the product of a concerted effort over several days, and is better for it.

    There's a lot of fantastic imagery here; it's visible, and tangible, and I like it a lot.

    • Annalise
      January 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Most of the poems from the poem-a-day fiasco are shite. There is no hiding from that. It was more of an effort to write every day. To stick something out.

      There are some that came out of December that were worked on for more than one day... like this was. There are many more that were fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants posts.

      Thank you.

  • FindingFate
    January 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

  • poet2angels gold member
    January 5, 2007
    Edit | Reply

    oh my......

    You have done it again....
    I think I have a new favorite...or at least 2nd favorite....I believe the cloud game will always be my favorite but this is now #2.....
    This poem has everything that I love mixed into one poem....Just when I think I have seen your best, you go and surprize me......Maybe it is because it is just so romantic, and soft , real and ......sigh....

    Lynda


  • misselaineous
    January 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    this has such a lyrical, magical quality to it
    i really enjoyed seeing the pictures you painted of nature and children
    innocent but somehow not ~ metaphors for life and relationships weave there way through your lines and give life to the scene

    elaine


    • Annalise
      January 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you.



      Love your avatar.

      • misselaineous
        January 5, 2007
        Edit | Reply
        avatar sounds awfully techie lol! if you mean my piccie thingy that's my mollydog... sweet ain't she. two little puppy dogs i see

        • Annalise
          January 5, 2007
          Edit | Reply
          LOL Avatar reminds me of a cartoon my oldest son watches...

          Mine's Akira. She's a baby, still. A chew-on-everything baby, that is.


  • astralshepherd gold member
    January 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    Stunning imagery. The heart of a romantic dreamer on display as your mind and your heart follow the soft drifting fragrence of memory. A brilliant poem, a joy to read, a treasure to hold forever.

    blessings and best wishes, ~richard  

    • Annalise
      January 5, 2007
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      Ah. There is the butterfly, again. I love that butterfly... and it fits so perfectly on this page, I think.

      Thank you. For the comment, the clap, the fireworks


  • SurelyWritten
    January 5, 2007

    Edit | Reply
    i love the ending, wow, this is fantastic and i don't even like nature poems, i am still struggling to catch up to my thoughts... wow Meli, this is amazing..

    -shirley-

    • Annalise
      January 5, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      LOL I'm not one for nature poems, either. Really. I think I've just exhausted myself with December and am now going back to the basics.

      Thank you.

1 - 37 of 37