Setting down reading a book listening to the people talking around you.the music in the back ground playing jazz. you can feel your-self snapping your finger together.while you are sipping on coffee,coco or even some of that cappichino.
then a man walks through that do hair black as night his tall and buffed and walks like no-other before him.
he gets on the stage and say his lines of poetry and you can think about is the words coming out of his mouth.
"what's long and thin and wine and dines with the thought of nothing to come through. your air like life and speaks to no one an add a thing or two to end of your time".
when he speaks your eyes and ears are set on him and your thoughts and mind is saying"his speaking to me" the end comes and he looks.
A contest entry
- Pre - Writes by MorganTea.
525 points, ended July 20, 2008, 14 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your oldest prewrite poems and my 20th contest by stargazer..
650 points, ended April 20, 417 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Very good
I enjoyed the imagery and I felt like I was there
You may want to use a pattern and write it more like poetry. It was still a very nice poem, I was giving you advice (notice that you do not have to use that advice) on how to mak better.
Let me show you what I'm talking about --- for the first line
Instead of - Setting down reading a book listening to the people talking around you
Try - Sitting down reading a book
Listening to the people talking around you
Make it choppy like that
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Superb
An unusual romantic write, I liked your surprise ending. Very well written, indeed. Thanks for sharing this one. If you care to read it, I also wrote one entitled: "Coffee". Here's a link for you -
http://allpoetry.com/poem/2230922
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This is just purely a matter of personal preference, but it often makes you work appear more presentable if you shorten the lines and elongate your work, giving it that traditional appearance of a poem. Your words can remain the same and state the same thing, but it just looks more appealing to the reader. You have a thoughtful poem here. Just dress it up a little!
You also have a few spelling errors that you may want to look into as well. Thanks for sharing this and best wishes in all of your endeavors. Keep that pen handy and ever ready for use dear poet. 
♥ Touchof1der -
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THANK
Thank you for your comment and i am re-looking over the pome for the miss used words
once again thank you
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For me, this is really written well!!!
...and I agree w/pixxie, definitely some good inspiration that has found it's way to you.
This is one of your better writes. Wdspck, speaks. Everything else works fine. Always try to use Check Spelling, I have to & you'll find readers are more likely to comment on your already awsome thoughts. After all, it's your thoughts that really count, but many poets for some reasons can't look past themselves, to look beyond what they may see as a misspelled word, etc. Keep on pennin', & with this poem, I've decided to definitely add you to my fave's.
Your poetry is very original and inspiring for me as a reader!!!! I'll stop in from time to time to see how well your doin' and to read some more of your provocative thoughts!!
Take care & keep writing!!!!!!
-fallower.
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Your descriptions here are very good, but you may want to double check some of the lines. I think there are words missing in a few places. Sounds like someone sure inspired you
--->pixxie<---
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