Silence
he pushes you around
he shoves you down
rips off your clothes
his soul you loath
you want to cry
you want to die
you want to scream in agony
-and pain
you scream, you spit, you scratch at his face
he thrusts right into you gaining in pace
you push, you scratch, you try to fight
you smack, you yell this isn't right
he's almost fininshed one thrust to go
he laughs and calls you a "stupid hoe"
you promise him you swear to god he you will hate
but all the time, you hate yourself
-because the one word you couldn't yell was
RAPE!
Author notes
love is like a photo
A contest entry
- dark and sick poems by mylilpunchki.
400 points, ended February 25, 2007, 31 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Sad Dark Depressing...... by Ntagatf.
400 points, ended February 23, 2007, 103 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - heartbreaker by ExpectingMommy18.
550 points, ended September 22, 2007, 34 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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wow this was just amazing..the write not whaat happend...i think you did a wonderful job with this piece and i wish you the best of luck in healing with what has happend...thank you so much for entering and good luck in the contest!!
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i thought that this really fit the contest and it was really good. You are an extremely talented writer. Good luck with the contest and keep up the good work!!
Lindsay -
When violence manifests in silence,
Victims' words will fall unheard.
-
Cry Freedom.
A strong title, in that there are many forms of silence. Therefore the reader's interest is immediately aroused, and understanding more easily open.
An image, and the title single-word. Image boosting of meaning..hmmm...while one is not averse to such, and here it can but emphasize the obvious, reliance on that device may be detrimental to poetic development, in as much as one wishes to arouse the readers' imaginations, rather than their visual cortex directly.
'clothes' - but then, given the spellings of 'ti', mayhap one should be reading 'clo-aths'. I was going to suggest 'his soul you loathes', emphasizing the loathing by the mistake deliberate there. But scatterring them all about emphaizes something else...
would a comma serve in place of a hyphen (which might imply 'agonyand', split over two lines. (Personally I sometimes 'sub-intend' the subtraction function by their use however; but I can't see some extra meaning underlying the use here, only a choice of punctuation.
'you will he hate'? better sounding, but implies he may hate (but then, one might wish it be so, of what...'just as you hate, yourself, this time'..(ie. that he come to hate himself).
Why, if one screams, could one not yell rape? Being an old hand at anti-rape initiatives, courtesy of my mother and her work, it strikes me as strange, and as a poet-reader, less than convincing.
I applaud the intent, and the majority of force-of-execution evinced in this piece.
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