I've become so used to all these let downs,
yet I never can be so immune
as to close these swollen eyelides any easier.
I couldn't hear you
say my name,
defeaned by the fireworks
in my brain... (but maybe I never wanted to listen in the first place)
your stuttered-out
controversy-lullabies hushed me
Dead in my tracks,
fell me down
on my back.
& the ache of the needles
spreads through my open veins.
and I swear that I could
see your outline lying next to me.
The first sound I really ever heard
was your spaced-out breathing,
and the delicate beeping
in this stale white cage
they really believe
"helps" failures like us.
(but can anyone really help us? Can anything really change us?)
But as I become one with tiled floor,
I am ten times prettier than I ever was alive.
&
I realize...
as cigarette ashes make their home
on my glitter-glossed lips...
that band aids are
so overrated. (I've never felt more alive.)
Author notes
may edit this later
In a list
A contest entry
- MMkay Dollies, Hit Me Hard. by No Room To Breathe.
850 points, ended January 13, 2007, 14 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 24 of 24
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babe--how do you do it?
and do you honestly get sick of me asking this question?
I mean jeez, this is pure poetic brilliance and my heart, fingers ache to write again a poetically brilliant as you, I wish I could achieve that level of pure brilliancy.
but i love it.
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great as usual. i loved this part:
&
I realize...
as cigarette ashes make their home
on my glitter-glossed lips...
that band aids are
so overrated. (I've never felt more alive.)
simply wonderful! -
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omg! i love this! i totally adore it, you have done a fantastic job! your talent really shows in this
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well thank you!!
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oh man. this is really deep. I loved it. especially the ending --
But as I become one with tiled floor,
I am ten times prettier than I ever was alive.
&
I realize...
as cigarette ashes make their home
on my glitter-glossed lips...
that band aids are
so overrated. (I've never felt more alive.)
amazing job, love. you rock!! i adore this. ♥ -
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aww thank you babbbbe!
you adore it?
pshhhh... I adore you =] ♥ -
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pfsh. i adore you more. =p
♥
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But as I become one with tiled floor,
I am ten times prettier than I ever was alive.
&
I realize...
as cigarette ashes make their home
on my glitter-glossed lips...
that band aids are
so overrated. (I've never felt more alive.)
fave. awesome as alwyas< -
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muah!
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Wow~
Wow! This is very well written! I wish my poems were as good as yours! Where'd you get the idea for this poem? You have great talent! My favorite lines were
"in this stale white cage
they really believe
"helps" failures like us." I'll be around to read and comment more on your poems, so take care! Byebye~
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hmmm, well -Toxicity's contest had a word bank... and I sortof just rambled heheh.
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I loved the two lines:
"But as I become one with tiled floor
I am ten times prettier than I ever was alive."
They simply blended together and I really got a vivid image in my mind.
I love the cigarette ashes on glitter glossed lips...
You did awesome!
~SweetAmber~
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thank you amber!!
=]
I appreciate it!
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"your stuttered-out
controversy-lullabies hushed me"
"defeaned by the fireworks
in my brain... (but maybe I never wanted to listen in the first place)"
cheese whiz girlie.
haha I Love these.
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thank you babbee =]
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This has to be a new favorite of mine by you.I really liked the simplicity and that you didn't go over the top with the imagery.Very nice and your writing is maturing.Well done
~Helen
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thank you helen!
♥ I appreciate the encouragement =]
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close up
I'm so used to these let-downs
I can never be immune
to closing
♥
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=]
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But as I become one with tiled floor,
I am ten times prettier than I ever was alive.
&
I realize...
as cigarette ashes make their home
on my glitter-glossed lips...
that band aids are
so overrated. (I've never felt more alive.)
wow.
this is amazing.
absolutely stunning.
good luck, love.
♥
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thanks soo much!!
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I like it. very good. I like the end especially, "band aids are so overrated. (I've never fellt more alive", thats just awesome right there. Good JOb.
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thanks!
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