Seven Deadly Ways to Fall
The world twirling around me
Reverse the heavy past
Bring it back to the beginning
And let’s start with the last
Angels fall before me
In a dark world full of lust
Heaven falls to hell
From ashes back to dust
Reflections of a snow white queen
In this deadly trance of mine
Call to the silent darkness
Sweet, silent dark, divine
Street horns blaring in my ears
In a dark world full of malice
Tip the ignorance of a life forsaken
The blood swirling in your chalice
Twisted and scorned
A lie on my face
Unforgivable secrets
Mask falling from grace
Bite into my flesh
In a dark world full of sloth
The silver glints and takes a bow
The continental goth
Cry into the lies
Of tomorrow
Cry for the begotten truths
Of sorrow
Shadows beckoning my life
In this dark world full of greed
Shades of gray in every corner
For this broken world I bleed
Soak into the ground
Stain the grass a crimson red
In a field of crimson lullabies
Stand the graves of crimson dead
Children laughing in my face
In a dark world full of envy
Razor-sharp teeth and a devilish smile
This laden weight grows heavy
Open the gates of Tartarus wide
And let loose all the shamed,
Let loose all the wicked
The hounds of hell, ordained
Teeth are gnashing at my side
In a dark world full of wrath
Bombs are dropping, bullets flying
In a madrigal blood bath
Human laws and
Human rights
Human wars and
Human fights
Evil lurking around every corner
In a dark world full of pride
Knocking on the doors of safety
But it seems I’ve been denied
Shall I carry on?
In this broken world can I win?
In this broken world shall I try to fight
The seven deadly sins?
Dancing in the flames
Breathing in the smoke
Breathing in the toxic fumes
My soul begins to choke
Let’s bring it back to the beginning
Starting with the last
And as the worlds twirling around me
Reverse its heavy past…
~Rain
November 9th, 2006
A contest entry
- LET ME HAVE YOUR BEST!!! by Ale E.
600 points, ended August 15, 2007, 65 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Pre-Write Appreciation Day 2007 by Kimojuno.
1000 points, ended September 14, 2007, 102 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give Me Everything! by Uncle Haku.
1400 points, ended March 10, 2008, 49 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark writes contest!!!! Check it out by AngelsKissesJenna.
450 points, ended May 17, 71 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Titles & Topics!!! plus anything goes. by purplemoon.
953 points, ended May 29, 94 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think. Opinions, opinions. I want your opinion.
Comments
1 - 29 of 29
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Well......Let's Just say by far one of the best poems I've read in a while. A lovely way to incorparate the 7 deadly sins.
My favortie lines:
Human laws and
Human rights
Human wars and
Human fights
Thanks for the Entry.
Kathryn.
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I love the flow to this write!
This is very well written.
Goodluck!
-Buster
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While a decent piece I do not particularly enjoy the capital letters in some of the places that they don't belong.
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?? Where do they not belong?
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a lot of comments, can you squeeze me in?
This is great, a little scary, but hey I'm not there. You know, I like the point you have here. The though of war allways strikes feer into people...well, atleast most sane people that is, but the question is, do we ever think about what will happen after? "Where will we go? Where will we live? How will we get food?" should be the questions. Not "What types of bombs can we use? How many people can we kill befor they kill us? ect... Really I love the poem, nice work.
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Very well done and congrats on the silver.
"Shadows beckoning my life
In this dark world full of greed
Shades of gray in every corner
For this broken world I bleed" I bleed for this world too. Scott
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Trying to avoid the ever closing in world, trying to evade the sins that befalls the rest, and yet all along scumming and falling to their levels. You try and you try and yet things close in, until one day you are back at step one.
Nice done; if I am wrong let me know and I will re-read it;
Kimojuno (Jeff). -
Hey I absolutely love this write. As I have said before. I don't know where to start...DeathDolly is right- you are Bloody Briliiant- Bloody Brilliant indeed Morgan! I especially love your starting and ending stanza's it sets the mood and leaves readers thinking. Brilliant!!!!! I love.
Love MJ -
Wow... I don't even know where to start. First, I love vampires, second, you're bloody brilliant. =]
Fave stanza: "Cry into the lies
Of tomorrow
Cry for the begotten truths
Of sorrow"
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oh I forgot to applaud it srry!
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haha,
thnx for the applaud && the luffly comment.
Peace && Blesses
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wow simply amazing work here!! There are rhymes in every section and everything makes sense, it was a very long poem and it had a very deep and dark meaning behind it. Everything you said was all following one specific subject and I just have to say that this is a 5 star poem...no a 10 star poem lol. Extraordinary write! good lucky in the contes
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Wow ~
A very suggestive write with such imagery
to make me read this more than once ~
Such a vision to share with those of us
who have forgotten the imperfections within this world ~
Sometimes we need to be reminded of such things...
well done with this write...
Bear ~
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This is very dark and chilling, The rhyme and flow was awesome.
Thanks so much for sharing.
Jeannie
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this is a very good dark write ,it has exelent flow and is a most enjoyable read
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That was a really good write hunny...
*SMILES*
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wow u know this is a very very good poem i love it it ryghmes and everything wow o wow i don't know how to decribe it but this is great poem u must have put a lot of work and thought into this keep up the good work
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Wow! This is an intense poem and some of the imagery is really good. I think the rhyme scheme is a little forced - it just seemed as though you were forcing some lines in order to fit into your rhyme scheme
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Add me to the chorus...
This is...well I'm not sure I can say anything that hasn't already been said below me. I can say this...I'll go and check out the rest of your stuff...
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WOW
that was amazing! amazing amazing amazing. i loved it a lot. your poem is such a great write, i lost myself reading it. just great. wow!
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Chaos and Beauty
This poem has such intense words, they are chaotic and dark but they are part of what makes this poem so beautiful.
The darknesss speaks to me of underlying hope, in the sense that if we change our ways, they may be a chance for redemption.
But more than anything i see this poem as a message, a warning, one that everyone should read and heed to.
I love the rythym and originality of the piece, and would NOT recommend that you change it for the world!!!! I truly admire this masterpiece, the images brought to mind, and the warning of the death and destruction we will face.
You are a wise and creative person with a knack for words and a mind that everyone needs a piece of!!!
Continue to let the words flow from the heart, you could end up changing the world, SINGLE-HANDEDLY - for none are so brave and wise as you have shown us all here.
Love,
Passionate Singe
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Oh my goodness. I am speechless. Literally speechless. This was amazing. As I was reading it I could see everything, and I read it slowly. And as I did so it seemed to make the poem mean something so much more. Taking the time to read it. Oh man. I am so glad I read this. It was simply amazing. Fantastic job.
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lovely, its really well set out and i can tell you really thought about this poem it was full of imagery and there is nothing i can think of that could make it better xxx
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This is so amazing and stunning.
This is absolutely beautiful, Very well thought out and polished to high perfection. Brilliant piece my friend! loved the form and flow and the rhythm and rhyme are dead on. Captivating piece from start to finish. Don't put down that pen! I love this so much. Keep up the killer work, take care and good luck. -
Wonderful!!
This poem is AMAZING! the wordplay, the ryhme scheme, the rythm, ALL PERFECT! and what passion!! this poem bites so deeply into our minds and keeps us on our toes with the perfectly elequont and original ryhme play. none of the ryhmes were cliche' forced, or juvinile. the ryhtm was great.it was consistent, and yet it occasionaly changed to keep the readers on their toes. this is truly a wonderfuland powerful poem with a deep beautiful message
Great Write and God Bless
Pastoral Poet
Ben B.
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thanks a billion. and that goes out to everyone. it really means a lot to me and im glad you enjoyed it.
((luvv))
~Rain
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This was a gorgeous poem. I loved the feeling of darkness slithering through my mouth and under my skin and leaking from my eyes [at least thats what I felt as I was reading your piece].
The language you used was beautiful and strongly profound. It was sinister and yet full of misery that was very gripping. It pulled me in and sort of suffocated me [and I mean that as a compliment
]
Beautiful write doll
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Wow!
That was an amazing write. I see you only have a couple so far but I would expect to see many more great works in the future. Keep ur the good work.
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AWSOME
I love that poem...gosh it is so good...we gotta get more people to view it. I just love it.
Shadows beckoning my life
In this dark world full of greed
Shades of gray in every corner
For this broken world I bleed- i love that...just completely awsome....keep writtin.....
-MJ
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