She sits at the table,
at a fancy party...
with wrists bleeding.
piano music hauntingly
played in the background,
as the souls weep
and beg for her to come.
Blocking the happiness of the sun,
are the hanged men,
swaying in the breeze
lavender and roses
waft through out the
large room,
as clinking glass
and the flicker of candles
emit an eerie sense of security.
The Suicidal social hour
has begun.
In a list
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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wow! this dark poetry stuff is great. the title got me interested first.
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I like this dark poetry stuff. This is just awesome.
Deep shit lol
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I thought when I wrote this that it would be met with a lot of flack, but it is still being recieved very well!!!
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I agree with Grannyeri... This is quite the masterpiece you have painted here! So full of sadness and pain, with language that makes it sound so beautifully morbid. The wrist-slitting was a little on the emo side for my taste, but other than that, the colourful images speak for themselves. Well-penned, my dear!
All the best,
Laura
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I absolutely love this poem. It was my favorite to write!! and I'm shocked I'm still getting comments...ha ha ha oh I forgot I pinned it to my front page.
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Wow - this is way out in left field somewhere by itself. A very sureal picture you have painted through your words - what an ending as well. Liked the brevity of the lines and the weirdness of it.
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Absolutely Beautiful!
"...hanged men
swaying in the breeze
lavender and roses
waft through out the
large room..."
I loved it!
So charming and sweet in an eerie sense!
Amazing!
Jessy -
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Thank you so much Ms. Jessy!!!
I had fun writing this piece. The sad thing is I probably wasn't in a dark mood when I was writing this...I just...wrote it.
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if you were going for "eerie" you hit it on the mark The visuals are amazing and I must assume you were in quite a dark mood while writing this. I have written an occasional dark one , but being that I am mostly on the upbeat side , I do not do it all that well. BTW, thank you for all of your kind comments. It is much appreciated. And do keep writing , it is a great catharsis for a lot of things,
reenie
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Thank you Ms. Reenie!
I enjoyed your work and you are definately an upbeat person!! that's so fabulous to be!!! I don't plan on ever stopping!! You're right, it's a great catharsis ( isn't that a lovely poetic word?!) have a wonderful and safe day,
Rosita
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Beautiful..this is very well written..I love how the words seem to dance and almost charm you as you read.. you have an amazing gift..sad in its suicidal state of mind yet a delightful read..
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Creepy!
This poem reminds me of the "Adam Family!"
"there creepy and there spooky."
"they're all together cookie."
"the people come to see um."
"they really are a screa'um."
"THE ADAM FAMILY!" LOL! LOVE IT!
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I just saw this, reading it, Im torn. I dont know how to feel but sad.
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as soon as i saw your title i knew this was going to be great!!! And so thankyou for justifying my first impressions even far more so with an intelligently written piece of poetry!!!!!
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Rosita Bonita!
I don't know why they don't put our little icons on our user pages anymore! It was nice to see a bigger view of them on the author's pages. I see you have the picture scanned... wahoo! You should put it on this page... of course only if ya want to! Bummer it's so small as your user icon and can't see the details in it. 
Love you, love you, love you! Mwah!
Momma Bella -
Ahhhhhhhhhhh! I should have scanned it before sending it! Then, you could have added it to the poem!
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Brilliant!!
Packed Full of distinguished imagery of torture and darkened theories! Sitting at a table with bleeding wrists, the sun blocked out by hanging men! All so exciting and wonderous! I love this style and theme of writing, always makes me so happy. Speaks to the very depths of my little black heart! Congrats on a fabulous piece.
~MotherMachineGunn~
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This one was great. And like the others said, if you could paint this into a picture it woudl look amazing. It woudl be unbelieveable.
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hey it seems like everything is in present tense except the piano music "played"..
Other than that confusing tense change, I love it. MWAH.
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Oh wow love that is an awesome poem. I felt like I was sitting in the middle of the social hour. I could imagine all of it. But what caused my beutiful one to write such a poem? what's wrong love?
Kitten
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a nice cheerful poem to rub my eyes awake a good poem. spill ink and twist me into the crazy shape of love...
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Amazing
I loved it, it full of vivid description yet left a lot up to your on imaganation! Great job! Keep on writting i am sure many others love it! -
Ummmm... I think this would make a beeeeeeeeeeautiful picture! Did you write it from a picture or did you just make that up? Honestly, I think someone should paint this picture! It would be hauntingly gorgeous!!
Momma Bella loves Rosita Bonita!
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You're quite awesome
Actually no I wrote this when I was crying. I was just sitting on the couch. But I wish I could paint there would be so many things that would contrast to my poetry...it would be out of this world. I LOVE YOU MOMMA BELLA!!! -
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no more crying, it makes me sad.
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Well, it's an awesome poem and I can so picture the whole scene! But, alas, I also cannot paint! Maybe I should take classes and paint it! Hmmmm... maybe, some day before I'm 50... that gives me a little over 10 years...
Mwah! Love you! Yay for Rosita Bonita! Wahooooooooooooooooo!
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wow. this was really powerful. nice job.
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