Shattered Reflections
Like a scarred warrior
lost at sea,
capsized in the
canoe of tranquility.
I find myself in
an emotional hibernation.
All my rock candy memories
begin dancing in my head,
reminding me of just
what I have done to hurt her.
My thoughts are not all that
astrologically sound.
Inside I've become
something spiritually infused.
I haven't always treated her right,
but she is my everything.
My visions of her
when we are not together,
leave me kissing clouds.
Everyday I am concious of
my past mistakes,
the tears that fell
from her snow white complection.
I fight with myself for
my own mistakes.
My own superficial perception
of myself fades away.
I am left joy riding
on the past I can not change.
Author notes
I used the form free-verse...guess it's not really a form but, here it is.
Word Bank used
1) spiritually infused
2) snow white complexion
3) kissing clouds
4) joy riding
5) astrologically sound
6) emotional hibernation
7) scarred warrior
8) rock candy memories
9) superfical perception
10) canoe of tranquility
This came out a bit darker than I hoped. Basicly, I have in the past caused much hurt and pain to the woman that I love very much and to this day I kinda beat myself up for it. I love you with all my heart, Elizabeth.
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Comments
1 - 7 of 7
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Great job with the second word bank. I think this piece had an amazing flow and it really grabbed my attention, this piece. Great write. Good luck in the contest. - cgirl0410
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this is a beautiful ammendment for love that has a few mistakes along the way... is very deep and flows nicely. great work. good luck in your contest
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I Love You
OMG.....This is so different for you. I'm sitting here in tears, You did a wonderful job with this. I love you so much and thank you for being here.
Elizabeth
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Terrific piece Kiddo. You did a great job with the wordbank as well. It was a challenging one. You and Liz are lucky to have each other always be kind to each other. Great job..Love you
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nice, this is an interesting poem you got here, i think you used the words here perfectly, i like it keep it flowing and good luck in the contest
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The fact that you are still together should speak volumes that she has forgiven you for past transgressions. But it sounds like you are like me, you feel so bad, you might not ever be able to let it all (or some of it) go. I love the words you used to get these feelings across and while, yes, it is dark and darker than you wanted it to be, I think the use of the words is very good. This is a very heart-felt write to her
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This is an excellent write, my friend! Awesome usage of the words and a most awesome sharing of your heart!
I wish you all the best in this competition!
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