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Mary

Holy mother,
virgin saint,
you gave your son
for us.

Do you wish you
could take it back
seeing how we appreciate
your sacrifice?

He came to forgive
our sins
only to find
that we like the sins
we commit.

Holy mother,
virgin saint,
you held your dead son in your arms
and called him a gift.

Do you see the mistake
you’ve made
Your gift trampled
and smashed in the mud?

He died for
our sins
only to find
we didn’t even want
to be forgiven

Author notes

I am sorry that this poem made people believe that I am shoving religion in their face. It was meant to do something completely opposite. I was so sick of my Catholic in-laws pushing their faith into my face, that I wrote this as a kind of slap in the face, not quite blasphemous, way to say that Christ's dying really isn't a big deal to a lot of people.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 13 of 13

  • W B Burkholder
    January 6, 2007
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    CHrists, sacrifice was given knowing full well that we are all sinners, that without his sacrifice we would all be destined for hell. I am a mere human i sin, because of that fact, we are born into sin, a fact of life, through him we find redemption we only need to ask his forgiveness and his presence in our heart. i can see where some might take this piece in a bad light, but i however, do not, opinions are just that opinions, its not up to me to judge them, for if this is what you truly beleive, then who ami to change them, Peace and blessings to yu


  • Suicide King
    January 6, 2007
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    great

    that was a very thoughtful and artfuly spun peice. i like it alot full of emotion and i like the last 2 stanzas you have great talent
    keep it up

    -----~LD


  • Nereida Nightshade
    January 6, 2007

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    In truth you poem hits the nail on the head. That is how people are and they really don't show that it meant anything. very well said and I personally think that you telling it that way is very creative. A Stuble slap in the face! Very Good!!!


  • AshliiAsphyxiation
    January 6, 2007
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    wow.. this is a great peice... you are talented!


  • Exodus gold member
    January 5, 2007

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    I found this incredibly sad while at the same time I enjoyed it quite a bit, which is saying something because I usually don't like religious poems at all. But something about the way you've written it makes the words grab you by the heart strings. True talent.
    Thankyou for this, it was utterly beautiful

  • ComfortableSilence
    January 4, 2007
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    One of the things I really like about this poem is the way its formatted. It puts emphasis on some really powerful words, in the first 3 stanzas. If you could rearrange the format to put equal emphasis on powerful words in the other stanzas, your format/style would be incredibly effective.

    You also have a typo in " you held you(r) dead son..."


    This poem is really powerful, a wake up call to people who don't realize that they are doing wrong despite calling themselves religious. It's really strong and well written. Good job.


  • RedAquarius
    January 4, 2007
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    I'm not usually into truly religious poetry but I liked this. I think because it was screaming, in-my-face, trying to force a belief on me. It asked me to think and that's really what's important. Good job.


  • eveningthought
    January 4, 2007

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    This poem makes a great poem. We always forget that Jesus died and suffered for us after giving us so much, and we also forget that he had a mother who suffered because of it as well.


  • January 4, 2007

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    Good.

    I think this would have come from deep within her heart. I like this a lot. Shows what we truly desire instead of being with God. Shame on us. True shame. This is really good.


    • AimeeMarie
      January 5, 2007
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      I am really glad to see that SOMEONE got this piece. Almost everyone else saw this as a praise. It's not! Thank you thank you thank you!!!


  • signum-io
    January 3, 2007
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    What I like about this work is that there have been many works about Mary, about Christ, or any religious character, that it becomes almost banal. For me anyway, this does not stand out for that reason. But for the same reason I like it because it strikes me as though these are words that are with us all along. BWe are so used to thinking these thigns that we do not even notice that this thought has been floating about. This work has put into words some questions that some people feared to ask.

    Thanks.

    • AimeeMarie
      January 3, 2007
      Edit | Reply
      Thank you so much for this comment. I appreciate it more that you could ever know. This poem has been critisized on it's content by everyone else.


  • Truthful Princess
    January 3, 2007

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    Wow

    I loved that piece! It was really good and i espeicaly liked your last 4 lines it was a perfect ending, you should really keep it up! I loved it!

1 - 13 of 13