My name is Austin and long ago I was drafted into the Vietnam War
Back then I had no clue what lay in store.
I now stand in front of the Vietnam Memorial
As my eyes lay upon the name of Gregory Cordial.
Now my mind seems to travel back in time
And it was impossible for me to remain dry-eyed.
Gregory and I were both on different sides of the war
This made us enemies to the very core.
I remember the first time we came face to face
My heart would eventually have a hollow space.
I never thought that I would kill a man
But the truth would be hard to stand.
Times were hard at Vietnam
Everything around me stung.
Torment and suffering was all that I could see
The war itself is a horrible scene.
I stood with my rifle well in hand
I would be the only one left to stand.
Gregory and I met at the battleground
It wasn't long until his corpse was found.
At our encounter, he looked at me and then looked away
My gun fired, taking his life in dismay.
As I look at this memorial, i pray that you, Gregory, rest in peace
And before I go I beg that you pardon me please.
Author notes
*freedom warriors*
This poem was actually based on a true story of the Vietnam War. It's probably one of the poems that has had a greatest impact of all on me. It's also one of my favorites.
A contest entry
- 20 People Contest by SensualWhispers.
375 points, ended January 4, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
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300 points, ended March 4, 2007, 6 entries
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Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 21 of 21
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Before I read this, let me tell you that, without thinking very much about it, I think it looks quite like a small man with short arms and a very thin hat on his head.. I mean the length of the lines.. not the words, because I haven't read it yet.. which would make it awfully hard to get the impression from the words themselves that this poem is a small man.. Now I'll read it.. and see if it really is a little man.
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I guess I could say it is a poem in the shape of a man.
Gregory.. a poem about his memory, shaped like him. I'm sure poems where the whole poem itself is shaped like something have a name, and I obviously don't think that this is one of those.. but I'm an idiot so bear with me.
I like this poem a lot.. it's full of emotion and very powerful. It not only represents the harsh reality of war, 'Everything around me stung' being my favourite line and a great way of emphasizing how uncomfortable it must be to have to fight in a war, it also represents the effects on soldiers long after the war, and the regret and guilt they have to feel.
Thanks for entering. Good Luck. Before I read this, let me tell you that, without thinking very much about it, I think it looks quite like a small man with short arms and a very thin hat on his head.. I mean the length of the lines.. not the words, because I haven't read it yet.. which would make it awfully hard to get the impression from the words themselves that this poem is a small man.. Now I'll read it.. and see if it really is a little man.
.
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I guess I could say it is a poem in the shape of a man.
Gregory.. a poem about his memory, shaped like him. I'm sure poems where the whole poem itself is shaped like something have a name, and I obviously don't think that this is one of those.. but I'm an idiot so bear with me.
I like this poem a lot.. it's full of emotion and very powerful. It not only represents the harsh reality of war, 'Everything around me stung' being my favourite line and a great way of emphasizing how uncomfortable it must be to have to fight in a war, it also represents the effects on soldiers long after the war, and the regret and guilt they have to feel.
Thanks for entering. Good Luck.
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Wow.... how heartbreaking and sad. A bitter reminder that soldiers are real people, whatever side they fight on. Thanks for your entry.
By the way, my brother, Diddashn, is sick, so I am now your judge. He just asked me to judge this contest, and I hope to get it done today. Thanks for your entry and patience. -
Bravo! This was very good, I like how they were friends but enemys at the same time, Also i am very glad you took time to read the rules, Thank you very much for entering and good luck
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Holy Cow. Wow. That was good. Excellent really. Wonderful job with this. You wrote it so well. I could honestly feel the emotion in this poem. Awsome job with this. Thanks bunches for entering. Good luck. God Bless you!!
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This is a good depiction of what it must be like to be in a war zone. Good job, thank you for entering and good luck to you in my contest.
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this is a great write. thanks for entering!
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War is just horrible! It sucks so bad that you had to go through this. It makes me angry that so many people were affected. I hate war. I'm sorry that you had to go through so much. Education will help us in the future and thats just what your doing. I respect you for that. Keep up the good work.
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Remorseful
You are there! When I read this it places me in the mind of Austin. Wow! It is sad and it leaves you wondering how he copes the rest of his days. Good job on this piece!
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Thank you. When I wrote this i really wanted everyone to get in Austin's mind and really understand how soldiers must live with the fact that they have taken another's life. Thank you for your comment.
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Well Done
To see one so young taking on such difficult and charged topics is wonderful. The victims of the Viet Nam war are near to my heart as I am of that generation and lost many. You have promise for one so yopung. Never stop writing.
Peace, Rob
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Thanks
I really appreciate that you took the time to read this. Thank you so much.
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Everything but the ending.
This is a total turn around from the previous one I reviewed. Very strong for the mostpart.
Except for the ending; your ending is awkward and needs to be both reworded and strengthened.
Much better than that terrible attempt at doom and gloom.
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Thanks for your opinion. My ending might have not been the greatest but it was a true story- and Austin really did go up to the Vietnam Memorial and asked Gregory for forgiveness for taking his life long after the war was over.
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Oh Dear ME
Wow.. I just.. Hmmmmm, what is there to say to this true story? I can't believe the actual events that went on are here in this poem. You've done a great job on this and I am sure you don't need to be told, but may your soul itself rest in peace for what you had to do.. May God watch over you and may you be blessed. I thank you for entering my contest and good luck to you. You've made the finalist list...... Kassie. -
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Thanks. I really do appreciate it. But this poem isn't about me...it was told to me and i thought it would make a good poem. Thank you so much for your opinion.
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Not just in that confict i feel. this must have happened to a few others when at the end of war they in time move toward a better life. Who can say what anyone of us will do standing in those same shoes. It is the reason why i say i have a deep respect for all who put on a uniform to defend their country...it is not the people who make war but the leaders who for whatever the reason give the order to the troops. It is the troops who pay most dearly an no matter which side they stood the horrors and the nightmares i for one will never fully understand and it is a reason why respect is given across the globe. I thank you for this post
I wish you well in the contest but for me this has already won more than a gold trophy could ever hold.brilliantly penned
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Thanks! I'm just so glad that you liked it. I'm really honored by your opinion.
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Tis sad, this thing we call war, no one deserves to die like this, and for those who killed, whether they wanted to or not, those memories will never fade.....
Wonderful job
Karen -
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Thank you so much.
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So many sorrows
My first impression from this poignant poem is how sensitively it is written. It is not often one allows one's thoughts with regards to war and its atrocities, to stray into that much understated area of human feelings.
Sure, we are shown in those big action movies how great heroes are created; how wars were won and lost, all with gallant might, but the bitter truth ~ one human being in the horrific and unenviable position of taking the life of another...that is for those whom I consider the true heroes to reveal. One who will sweep aside the glossy paint and show us the real unlovable picture. That picture being the flesh and blood people who find themselves on the pointy end of a political world gone mad.
My heart weeps for Austin, as well as for Gregory. Each was simply there to carry out his job, such as it was, along with untold thousands of others. The only true enemies are the bloody politicians who started it in the first place.
An ideal world would see the peoples of those countries all uniting together with popcorn and drinks to watch the Pollies slugging it out in a boxing ring.
May the best man win. Amen.
Thanks for this stirring piece. A fine example of a deep and conscientious writer.
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Thanks
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this poem. I'm really glad you liked it.
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