The first time you yelled at me,
I really cried that day.
Then I thought about how everyone else
dealt with the pain of this.
I grabbed the blade you gave to me
and opened it up.
The shiny of the new blade,
sharp from no use,
glinted in the dim light of my room.
The first slice burned the most,
till the second and third became there.
The burn calmed my skin,
my body feeling calm.
I was finally in control,
of my heart, body, and soul.
I cried all night,
till you came to me.
You took the knife,
my control in life,
and threw it across the room.
You took my arm,
your gentle hands calm,
and cooled the burns with you fingers.
You looked into my eyes,
your own scathing with fear,
and begged me to answer your eyes.
I felt urged to answer,
but I decided to stay quiet.
You looked away with hopelessness,
but came back to my face calm.
You begged once more till you died in my arms.
You fell in my arms,
your own wrists similar to mine.
I stared in shock,
to your cold body on mine.
I looked under your sleeve,
it red stained,
and found a knife stuck into your skin.
You were still bleeding,
the blood flowing still.
I grabbed the knife from your skin,
and wished for another life.
I wished you were still here,
alive with me today.
But my cuts have healed,
and you are still only in my head.
I think about doing it everyday,
but I only remember your face.
The sadness in your eyes begged me to say no,
and that is a request I will always remember.
A contest entry
- Raw and Kick-Ass Poems by FollowingFate.
400 points, ended January 5, 2007, 6 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let the best poet win! by Norman Crabtree.
675 points, ended January 23, 2007, 107 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Lost Love by Dancing Feather.
500 points, ended March 10, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
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i thought it was really stunted, kept stalling. had no real flow and didnt want to get going. i really read self harming poetry because its quite simply something i detest and can't relate to. this offered some different thoughts about it, but nothing that really opened my eyes to anything else.
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Won Over A
Awwwwa. It's so heart-felt and deep. Although it did not rhyme the whole way through, I felt the flow was pretty good and the whole plot is sooo sweet. I love it so much. Best wishes and good luck
~Jessica
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omg amanda i'm sitting here in the english pod trying soo hard not to cry!! omg... ok lol n e ways it's extremy sad thats the ones we care about the most could make someone want to do something like that..in your poem i found it really sad that the boy id that too.. aww you know... your picture you put up with it works I guess. lol why such a sad write? why did the guy do it though? thats soooo sad!!! But very good the flow of the poem was great and easy to read which makes it better. Is this in a contest?
neveraleon09/t.j
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Wow
Even though it doesn't flow that well, it's really powerful. I like how you used him dying in her arms because of her pain, I thought that was a really good image...good work, Keep it up!
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