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Alone

She sits alone in a crowded place
All she thinks about is you
She wonders where you are
Or if you're all right
She cries for you
Inside and out
She can't believe what is happenin
She watches you kill yourself
Not knowing how to stop it
Wondering if it's possible
And it kills her.
She worries about you
All day, everyday
Everytime she calls she wonders
If you're going to be alive to answer
worries when you don't.
If she could take all your pain away
you know she would.

She is me.
I alone.

I sit alone in a crowded place
and all I think of is you.

Please tell me what you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Krishna-Pranay
    August 9, 2007

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    Wonderfully painful

    Its really marvelous.I'm going to honor this by putting this as a link on my page.
    Keep writing such precious pieces of poetry.
    warm regards,
    Himadri.


  • Death of the Author
    August 9, 2007

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    Wow I can certainly relate to this, maybe not so much this year, but last year I had two very depressed close friends who I feared for their lives several times...thankfully they are both a lot happier with themselves and their lives now. Good poem, well done x take care x


  • suicidal-revenge
    August 9, 2007

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    very sad poem
    i truly understand how you feel
    and most people worry about me so much
    they are scared that one day i wont be here to help thm

    I like how you thrid person point of view point that ot that that she is me
    then turns to first person to let them know


  • shadowfax22
    August 9, 2007

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    i like how the "she is me" breaks up the body of the poem from the last 2 lines but I dont think you need to point out who the she is. I think the reader gets it pretty well right off. But i do like how "i alone" sounds so tough call on how to manage that section. Lots of emotion evident here. Nice stuff.

  • in-a-perfect world
    August 1, 2007

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    okay i love it its really good totaly undersdtand the end umm like the way it tricks you into believing that its someone else, then iots you... all in all Good. keep it up.


  • godislord
    January 2, 2007

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    good

    this is really good but always remember that god is with you all the time. beleve it or not. and im with you in spirit. plus im a couple of states from you. lol


  • Broken Machine
    January 2, 2007
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    This is really sad. Good job with writing the poem though!

1 - 7 of 7