Still

The words don’t flow
Quite the same anymore
The feelings don’t show
As easily as they used to

Locked up
And
Buried deep
Within…

…The last faded memory of you

The way your lips caressed my neck
Held me cradled against your body
Whispered soft sweet words into my ears
The way your tongue ran over mine
A slight yearning in your eyes reflected in mine

Still,
At night I cry
Softly so that no one can hear
Enduring the pain
The only thing you left me with

Every time I see that you have signed on
My heart jumps into my throat,
And I pray that maybe,
Just maybe,
You’ll talk to me, tell me something
To indicate that you still have feelings for me
Every time I am disappointed
Because not a word comes from you

What did I expect?
You obviously dumped me for a reason
Not a good one,
But a reason all the same
Why would you want me back?
I highly doubt you still like me
I fool myself every time though

The memory, though fading fast
Is not of your face,
Which remains crisp in my mind
It’s of the events of our last moments together
Before I left for another country,
Only to return a month later
To find our relationship destroyed in
My absence

I can still remember:
The way your dark hair contrasted with your pale skin
The way my arms looked like ghosts next to your tanned arms
The way your fingers felt as they smoothed my bangs away from my face
The way my lips curved into a smile after every kiss we shared
The way you laughed when I would blush while you looked straight into my soul

I still remember how:
You were the only one who could make my heart flutter
You were the only one that made me want to wake up
You were the only one that led my through another dreadful day apart

Nothing can explain the way I loved—love—you
I could use up all the words in existence
Trying to explain to the world just what I feel for you
I could cut down all the trees living for paper
And still not even begin to describe my love for you

Nothing in the world will show you or anyone else
The pain that is my very life
Since you ditched me and killed us
No metaphor is good enough
No concrete thing can explain something so abstract

I know I shouldn’t,
But I still wait for your return
I know all my efforts are in vain,
But I can’t give up

Still,
It seems I should let sleeping dogs lie