There was a young man from a farm in Kilkenny
Sex? hell the poor bugger, had never had any
One day his father gave him the keys to his ute
Told him "Son go to the city, and get a root"
So away he went,on his lonely little trek
To lose his virginity, oh what the heck
All erect and hard, he drove off in dads ute
He reached his destination, a house of ill repute
Out of the carpark he staggered in the night
Nervously he stumbled toward the red light
Then to his surprise as he knocked at the door
He was greeted by a big, fat and filthy whore
"Come in",she said,"and if you have money
I`ll fix you up,I promise you honey"
"One hundred ways for us to have a ball
Just take a look at the list on the wall"
After a little while he had made up his mind
"Madam", he said "I want to try the sixty-nine"
"two hundred dollars thanks",the fat whore said
"Give me the cash first, then join me in bed"
"I`m sorry"he said,"I know not, what to do"
"No need to worry "she replied, "I`ll teach you"
"you lie nude, your back, flat on the bed
I`ll sit on your face, you give me head"
"Yes,I`ll suck your cock, and tickle your balls
While you lick my clitty and vagina walls"
As he sucked her clit, and her lips they did part
The filthy fat bitch let rip, a great fart
He threw back his head, buried his nose in his fist
The whore said "Forget that,you are paying for this"
So back down he went, back down on the growl
The bitch farted again ,this time, much more foul
Up jumped the bloke, running sraight toward the door
"Now where you going?" asked the filthy, fat whore
"Bugger me" he yelled back reaching for his clothes
"I`m not staying for another sixty-seven of those"
Author notes
Authors AP name is goat1826
In a list
A contest entry
- Drunkeness and Debauchery. by Daffodill du Pres.
375 points, ended September 21, 2007, 10 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 69 by Ravenblood.
300 points, ended November 18, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I haven't read this yet.Ill do that when the contest has closed. but could you please put your ap name in the authors notes section. its a rule of the contest. thank you.
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lmfao omg this was fuckin hilarious. major props.
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Oh you simply wretched person.
What a fartfully fruity read.
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Unlike the meanies down below me commenting, i liked this, i like a little humor, and thank youfor entering this contest. i wish you the best of luck, and keep penning!!
Emily -
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None of the other commentators have denied the amusement factor. It is the age factor which is being debated. I think I first heard this joke in the mid sixties. Christ, how we pissed ourselves as 69 was but a dream in our teenage hearts. Since then it has become a nightmare which has gone sour on us. Ahem.
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they are above you...
and it is a little recycled. How about... a guy takes a chinese woman home one night, they are getting down and dirty when he asks; 'you fancy a 69?', she says; 'you can fuck off if you think I'm cooking at this time of night!'
just as old.
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As a former resident of the Co. Kilkenny, let me assure you that no one would dream of referring to a vehicle of any description as a "ute". Therefore, you are NOT Irish, nor have you ever been to Ireland. You are Australian and please accept my sympathy.
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It is wonderful to see retold one of the oldest jokes in the history of the world. Did you honestly think no one had ever heard it before? Did you honestly think you could get away with this? How old are you, 12? Shame, shame, shame. Good rhyming though.
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