A metaphorical expression
Sent me into deep depression,
And undecided what to do
I thought I'd think the whole thing through.
Newfangled modernization
Caused me more than irritation,
Although I'm blessed with good insight
This really did not help my plight.
Growls from my throat would resonate,
No time to waste for it was late,
Then little men with legs like pins
Who looked like spindly mannequins
Now pointed out where I'd gone wrong
With words obscure and often long.
Still I sat in bleak frustration
Till logic brought me my salvation,
And fingers flew across the keys
Staccato, just like jumping fleas.
Poetic problems came in sight
And something seemed just not quite right,
The script upon the glowing screen
Was far too fine and hardly seen.
And alliterations in each verse
Now seemed to make the whole thing worse.
Though these problems were picayune
I fear they almost made me swoon.
But answers came, bright, florescent
Like stars from the vault's quintessence.
'Twas then the keyboard seemed to hum
As to my will it did succumb
Computers serve us poets well
From research to the words we spell.
Though it drove me to distraction
At last I had satisfaction.
No longer those marks of spilt ink,
That would drive this poet to drink.
Author notes
http://blinkd.deviantart.co/art/The computer-is-SATAN-70921618
A contest entry
- QUICKIE ~ My computer is out to get Me!!!!! by Riamh.
300 points, ended August 14, 2008, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - CELEBRATING POETRY AND POETS- ONE-DAY competition, "PREVIOUSLY WRITTEN" WORK ONLY by Vera Rich.
6000 points, ended November 26, 2008, 127 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 49 of 49
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Wow! What a fun poem this is to read. The rhythm and rhyme and flow is all amazing. Many people, especially writers can relate to your write I am sure. This is a unique expression of an artist's plight and is also very creative and an original idea. Great job! Blessings, Patty
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congratulations on the gold, it is well deserving. Fine rhyme and flow which served the story well. thank you for the entry. Good job.
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Thank you for entering this in my "Celebrating poetry and poets" competition. it is a witty idea - and I look forward to rereading it tomorrow, when I come to make the final assessment. (But please, by then, could you possibly change the colourscheme, as I find white typing on dark backgrounds VERY difficult to read. Black on plain white or at the worst pale pastel is all that my eyes can really tolerate nowadays).
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Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!
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Of Course....
A beautiful bauble to adorn this lovely piece. Congratulations on your trophy. Truly, it comes as no surprise. An excellent piece. ~Pam
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Once again you prove you class with this write. Always sure of an enjoyable read when Ever I click on your name Congratulations on a excellent poem and a richly deserved award
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Lol this was a delight to read, funny at times and ooh so real
But now we have to be careful what we spill on the key board
I loved this journey you took us on with your creativity and wit.
A great addition
Thanks for joining us. -
this is good.
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I would have sworn that I had already seen this but being plagued with these kinds of thoughts and feelings myself is that what makes the whole thing so familiar. Well done Di and good luck in the contest
Val
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Hi Elfin, psssssssssssssssssssst, you commented on this one a few weeks ago,lol,hugs Di
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that was great and so so SO true. having the computer to write and create completely changes how my writing comes about. its much more thought out (which is why ink and paper is always a great way to let it all out quickly)
i especially enjoyed the end:
"No longer those marks of spilt ink
That would drive this poet to drink."
That could be my motto. Thank you for sharing this with us and keep up the great writing.
- andre -
I love this! A delight light to read with perfect rhyme that makes it bounce along! Wonderful penning!
Thanks for entering and best wishes!
Frogz~ -
Very clever I think I spend more time staring at my blank computer screen than actually writing like I should be. I especially like:
"Still I sat in bleak frustration
Till logic brought me salvation.
And fingers flew across the keys
Staccato, just like jumping fleas."
I love the imagery and that is how inspiration works. It comes in bursts. Great work and congrats on your trophy.
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Great!
Staccato, just like jumping fleas.
I simply adore your vocabulary and descriptions. LOVE THEM.
I mean, nice work.
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Best of the Best Judge
Wow you got brownie points from me for doing this contest and making this piece rhyme. I know that was not an easy task. I really enjoyed reading this piece. It was well thought out and made actual sense. I really liked this. Great write. Good luck. - cgirl0410 -
Hehehe this is great. I think the computer opens up a whole nbew world to poets and their work. NNow millions of people can read their work. I especially liked : "And fingers flew across the keys
Staccato, just like jumping fleas." -
I absolutely love this poem! I've read a few
of your poems, and now I want to read as many as
possible. You are simply...delightful.
Lane -
Ha ha! Very good!
Frustration at one's fingertips...
. You've done a great job of cobbling the word bank into such an organised and flowingly good read. Lovely humour, too!
Isn't it fascinating how richly diverse the offerings are on the same bank of words? I'm loving the time spent reading...and feeling so lucky to be a witness to such creativity.
Best of luck!
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I have heard that the computers are only as good as the people that run them LOL... Some of us are really computer novices, and often illiterate when it comes to modern technology and new sofstware and programs. Loved this poem - flowed well and had great rhythm and rhyme, Glad you managed to find the way out of your dilemma.
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very light and amusing in its tone, the curse of modern technology. the computer gives us the universe at our fingertips, but sometimes I pick up a pen the old fashion way. well done, as usual.
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know what you mean
i agree with the idea here about the computer perhaps hindering our poetic expression. -
this piece reminds me not only of the so-called "modernization" and "efficiency" to our lives, but the writers block feeling...worsened by an empty screen and computer prompts to help?..i think everyone can identify with this piece..nice, effortless flow..i enjoyed the humor very much!
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Very creative! It really catches one's interest. Great job!
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lol!!! i love this!!!..i recently had a similar experience w/ my compuer..wonderful piece..very creative!
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LOL I think that you and your contraption did well on this piece. It reminds me of something my mother told me about children think their parents need the most up-to-date items and all they really want is something that works well. I believe you and the computer will get along just fine.
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Well thanks for expressing for us all our frustrations!I am sure there are more! I love humour and its'done with such gusto! I think everything you mention has been mine..Only a genius can put it all together! Will we all master our machines.?.Only this week I stupidly learned another feature of my computer to bring up the colour that was faintly printed into another.Duh? I haven't been at these machines very long.You have done an excellent job with humour about our precious pcs'or laptops..Twentieth line I think you may mean quite instead of quiet..BRAVO for speaking out in satirical humour for the rest of us...BRAVO, BRAVO,BRAVO!
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Hi, thanks a million, you see the dang computer did not pick that up,lol, thanks for pointing it out. Di
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Excellent
Too funny Di, loved it, great rhythm and rhyme and the flow is awesome. One we can all relate to. Good luck in the contest sweetie Bunny
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BEAUTIFULLY EXPRESSED.!
I too have had those blank times and then all of a sudden while punching the keys an inspiration came to me and then my finger flew so fast and then it was done.
I have done this myself! 
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wow
its such a long poem! i could never write anything as good or as long as that! the rhyming is good, and the story is funny, and also true
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I like
You have a definate grip of the english language. I love this piece, it reminds us where we are and how we got here. Appreciation escapes us at times but you give us a wonderful reminder.
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LoL
sounds like what i hear in the library. For some strange reason...its harder for me to write it out long hand instead of typing. i guess its a case of to eachtheir own. great poem though. picayune... thats a new one.
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heehee
this is really very good indeed, i love the rhyme and the rhythm, absolutely flawless.a very enjoyable and very well written poem,
well done,
floorboards
p.s, i coudn't find picayune in the dictionary, i haven't a clue what it means
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very good
the internet is a great resource for writers -
Bravo!
I often wonder what the classic poets of old would have done with a computer. But, they wouldn't need to write poetry about their unrequited love. They could just go to a chat room and find a make believe afair. Very funny poem. ~Gar
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Very funny DI. Will have to try one about the computer myself sometime.
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this was a nice write. I haven't been on for about a month so I have a ton of catching up to do. I just hope I can do it before bedtime.
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Applause!
I loved this piece, you have an interesting way with words that always leaves me with a smirk on my face. Our computers would be just another idiot box, like the tv, if not for spellcheck. My personal nemesis is the grammar correction of my word program, we will fight for hours, until my poem is a mess of incorrect punctuation and green squiggles underneath every sentence. Kudos, masterblaster, good luck in the contest!
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LOL
this is such a change from you Di, refreshing and funny, but what the he.. does picayune mean, it's not in my vocabulary or my dictionary. Good luck in this contest,Val.
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Hi Elfin, thanks a million what dictionary are you using,lol, it means small,of little importance,a nice word to play with,lol, hugs Di
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Great Poem
Our poetry wouldn't be half as good without this box. I use it almost exclusivly. It knows I can't spell, and thesouras helps me greatly, as I'm sure it does you.
Exellent word choice. A well crafted poem. I hope you win the contest. -
I too am au fait with the frustrations and problems of trying to master modern age cyber writing. Must say it is a great improvement on the old manual typewriter and its rubbings out and bottles of snowpake eraser.
I too have a cute little dog that looks, but never says "ignoramus! what are you trying to do?"
Loved the effortless rhyming that makes this poem flow.
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Excellent!
*Applause*Wow the flow of this poem alone is something to behold.Very very well written ,humerous an absolutely delightful piece of work please tell me how i can add this to my page as a favourite as im still finding my feet with how things work ,i loved it !!!
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Ha! Ha! tEE! HEE! ,THIS IS TOO FUNNY! Been there more than I wish to recall.Love the little stick men mannquins! I get a little doggy show up asking me what I'm trying to do! He's cute and all. But if that Beagle gets any smarter than I am. I'm in deep do do! It flows well.Has humor for sure. Great use of vocab..A couple I'll have to go to a dictionary for.But,I got it's intent. Loved this ,well.Was going to say light hearted piece,but knowing the frustration afore mentioned. I best not! Ha! Get write.~~Suseann
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Nice one!
A clever and amusing piece, Di, which I thoroughly enjoyed. The rhyming is good--I love "picayune" to rhyme with "swoon!"
All the best,
Bill
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