Cringed up in this cocoon
Wanting to make it to full bloom
Ethereal wings waiting to be shown
Bursting into the divine serenity
Of the green meadows awaiting
Defy the course the of nature
And just break free
Even with all the composure
It would make sense to unwrap it all
Become unstill,
Feel beautiful,
Casual and carefree
Fly across the marvel azure skies
Experience the sensation of gentle wind,
Soar till I lose my breath
Ascend with this feeling of hope
Go beyond the enigmatic horizons
Become giddy to move
Yet I stay still for now
Enlaced with protective covers
A definite combination
Of enchantment and faerie
Rummaging for when or how
My enamored day of freedom
Will come to me
…now just trust in time…
Wait till I can fly
In the sweet pastures of life.
A contest entry
- Another Try!!! by azlyn.
486 points, ended December 28, 2007, 27 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your best work composed over the last twelve months by Lute.
600 points, ended January 9, 79 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - everything and anything by x Bright Eyes x.
525 points, ended February 4, 88 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Please tell me what you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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I'd no idea what "chrysalis" actually meant; my mum has always called me this, as my name is Christie. Anyway, decent poem you have here.
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It's a good feeling to dream beyond our confines. This felt like a vision of joy and potential quite possible. I like so much the lightness and rapturous quality of your words. Magical and smiling aura of freedom without a sense of harm here.
You express it so well!
~Karen
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content 7.2
vocabulary 12.25
accuracy 7.75
creativity 7.4
theme 7.4
originality 7.2
totals-49.2 -
Very nice...thanks for the entry!
Az -
mystic! a great success for the above poem of yours. you know what i mean. pretty sure that you can have a good life ahead of you just dont forget to achieve and aim high. with education you can go anywhere. take it from me - your mom luv u much!
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Thank you mom. I only aim to please.
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you really got the talent two thumbs up =)
--Guess who? hahaha
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My god you have a beautiful way with words. And you stretch out the definitions to a point that is rarely used. It's amazing...i could feel it all...the way you put it all together....the emotions....the way it makes you think...it's lovely my dear...absolutely lovely!!!
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That only proves that you are a good student of your teacher in poetry. That credit goes to your teacher because she is very good in teaching you to create a good or excellent masterpiece. Well of course, I will tell you that you are also a very good listener and a student because you've learn all those lessons very well from her. Bottomline is.... you are a good poet! WELL DONE! Excellent piece of work.
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"dehiscence", "azure", "enigmatic horizons" -- you have such a lovely vocabulary, my dear. And might I add that this is a great nature poem, filled with metaphor & emotion.
Just one thing: my dictionay says 'unstill' isn't a word at all.
I think you should try writing something like this again. I'm sure you've got some beautiful words waiting for the right moment to burst out.
DancingRed.
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Such beautiful writing....
Reminded me of an Anais Nin quote: And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
This to me is the crux of what that quote means to me, taking the risk to spread those wings and fly free in the sweet pastures of life no matter how painful that risk may be.
Great Writing...
~Rain.
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Pyper Rain,
I'm so glad you know what I meant by this. Thank you.
-Blanche
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omg...this is one of the most descriptive mystifying and beautiful poems ive ever read... i can imagine everything vividly ...thank you for sharing such beauty rendered by you....Have a nice day my friend..
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Brillaint!
Sweetheart you are truly an amazing writer and I'm so honored to be able to read yoru poems..this is another of your masterpiece that no words in the comment can do justice to it's beauty. Amazing choice of words that flow like a gentle river that creates the musical ripples in your poem's tone. I see the choice of name for you is perfect...Soon you will fly and soar to the skies with your talented brain and beautiful soul and reach for the shinniest star only to realize it's your image mirrored above you are reaching for....May god fulfill all your hopes and heart's desires and let you be free to go beyond all horizons and explore the grandeur of azure skies that eagerly await for you... Take Care baby & God Bless
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thank so much... it's always nice to read uplifting comments...
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Amazing
If I could give you two times the number of applause I dont think I'd be satisfied. Perhaps if it were something like five times! Fifteen applauses for you and this poem! Actually it should be fifteen each! Fifteen for the amazing poet, and fifteen for the amazing...magnificent...brilliant...what ever else word in the dictionary that can be used for just outstanding, poem. I see two other people have seen this and they leave no comment. They should be arrested because this is...well it's amazing lol. Shall I tell you why?
Your poem has me awestriken well first of all its amazingly beautiful. I mean wow. It's the way you've written it, I read it, and I see everything before me. It's like Im looking at a picture. Very very descriptive and evocative. I mean I'm sure everybody can relate to wanting to just let loose and let go of everything. Enchanting. I want to go to the place that you've described. It sounds like a piece of heaven. I guess I like this one so much because, I too wanted to break free of the conformity and sometimes the calm equanimity in my life. So I can relate. It's just I could never dream to express that feeling like you ahve here. Normally I'd quote my favorite part but...lol I'd just have to copy and paste the whole damn thing! So I think I'll spare you that
Wonderful. Amazing! So beautiful.
-King
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