Bound in a body of flesh and bone,
In this world starved by steel and stone;
I’ve got to get back home-
get back to my spirit.
Sit to watch the waters flow;
Walk and feel the four winds blow;
There is music in my soul-
when I listen I can hear it.
Enable me to embrace
her greater gift of grace;
Allow me to escape
in her serene sense of space.
Teach me tempo;
Something no one else could ever do;
Impart to me her magic movement-
show me something new.
She has shown me love and grace
through the gifts that She has given;
She has taught me peace and pace-
She will teach me rhythm.
A contest entry
- Fire,Water,Earth,Air by Elavina.
550 points, ended February 7, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
Feel free to comment..and please read my other work..
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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As a lover of dance, I love this poem, the rhythm is awesome, I would love to hear this spoken or sung. Great metaphors.
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When reading a poem i look to punctuation to help me understand the rythm in the writers head while they were creating it.
It appears to me that you may have been chanel hopping around the music stations during this one.
Still i supose it gives creadence to the title because for me this piece did not have an ultimate rythm theme stretching from one end to the other which spoiled the wording for me somewhat.
But that is life.... one mans cream is another mans milk. -
thoughtful
i like the lines enable.............grace. nice rhyme to except that you were not consistent.
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I enjoyed this poem. Thanks for sharing it with me.
The only criticism that I have is the rampant appearance of the word 'she' in the last stanza left it feeling stilted to me.
Other then that minor nitpick, well done. -
yyeeeeeaahhh
this awesome.
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B-E-A-utiful!!
A-M-A-zing. This poem has wonderful rhyme and rhythm. It just flows like music. I hear your thoughts and feeling clearly, your point coming out so fine. Real and gorgeous your writing is beautiful.
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God, this is good. This is another biggie.
Another first-class "real" poem. (It is just that I read so much on AP that isn't.) Especially love the last two verses.
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the message is wonderful and elicits a mood of tranquility . The rhyme-scheme keeps changing from stanza to stanza weakening its overall effectiveness. You speak of "She" in uppercase but earlier stanza only is writ as "her" lower case; is this purposeful? Your simple words add grace and elegance to this piece.
~*Starr*~ xxxx -
I have sat in grace for two weeks now, I can understand the words in this, Have been taught peace and humility in the grand scheme of things, but now I am just really getting my fill of your words for a long flight
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"Bound in a body of flesh and bone,
In this world starved by steel and stone;
I’ve got to get back home-
get back to my spirit."
I can hear the music behind the words, Mat...Lovely, my Friend...Keep on singin', Poet...we're listenin'... Wanda
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Great poem!
I especially love the title of your poem. And the poem too its all very great! Good job!!! -
uplifting and enjoyable
This has a positive feel to it. It was upbeat. It flowed for the most part. The only line that made my mind pause was line 14.
All in all an enjoyable read. -
I love poems about music, because that's what I do, and music is so powerful and magical and I think that you show your feelings towards it very well. This poem flows very nicely, there is a lyricalness which works well here. I really enjoy the second stanza, just lovely. I also really liked the line "Impart to me her magic movement". That line is packed with imagery and color. This is a delightful poem, well done indeed
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Lyrics are music and music is lyrics
Bound in a body of flesh and bone,
In this world starved by steel and stone;
I’ve got to get back home-
get back to my spirit.
Sit to watch the waters flow;
Walk and feel the four winds blow;
There is music in my soul-
when I listen I can hear it.
Love the musing. There's a Billy Joel song that I love the lyrics to. River of Dreams.
From the mountains of faith
To a river so deep
I must be looking for something
Something sacred I lost
But the river is wide
And it's too hard to cross
And even though I know the river is wide
I walk down every evening and I stand on the shore
And try to cross to the opposite side
So I can finally find out what I've been looking for
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the valley of fear
To a river so deep.
This is reminiscent of that Matt.
Very profound and deep quest of the soul.
Well done and I will return for commenting more.
Art
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This is very beautiful and I very much enjoyed reading it, it contains a very enlightening message to me and could be words for none the wiser about the things we take for granted, things we may not realize.
Take note of what we lose every day, how far we are falling...
My rambling probably makes no sense, but oh well, it makes sense to me and it is inspired by how I interpret your piece. It's all about interpretation I suppose...
Be well
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Thanks once again for your kind words...Now it is my turn to be inarticulate..I do not know why, but I look forward to feedback from you..Simply put, it makes me smile, Mat
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Lovely, Of Course.
Ah, the 2nd stanza speaks to my soul. A very nice piece, Mat.
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